


Once Bitten, Twice Shy

by yunyu



Series: Queen's Choice(s) 'Verse [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Date, China, Closeted Character, Dark Past, Family Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex Male Omegas, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Pornography, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sex Work, Post Mpreg, Self Slut Shaming, Single Father, being outed, not edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22086661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunyu/pseuds/yunyu
Summary: Nick, an omega single dad with four kids, gets set up on a blind date with Shine, an alpha male that Nick's cousin's fiancé Minor knew and approved. But Shine is looking for not just a date but a mate, and Nick doesn't think he's worthy of that.[A spin off of a spin off of the alternate universe fic Queen's Choice(s), but it works as a stand alone work since the only MLQC characters who appear at all just make very brief cameos. Yeehaw. Thank you to the enablers of the omegaverse channel of the Thots of Mr Love R18 Discord.]
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Queen's Choice(s) 'Verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1431061
Comments: 48
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a spin off of a setting (the game Mr Love: Queen’s Choice) where some variant English-like names are used for Chinese cities, notably Loveland for Shanghai, and I continued that conceit here:  
> Jade Mountain = Kunshan (a city within commuter distance of Shanghai)  
> Deepmere = Shenzhen, a southern Chinese city  
> Perilla = Suzhou, another city in Jiangsu
> 
> Zero knowledge of the game is required to read this work, as the only character from it who appears here takes a very small role and is unrecognizable as the original game character anyway.

Shine’s phone buzzed, waking him in the very early hours of a Saturday.

He unlocked it with his thumb as he grabbed it from the bedstand.

 **Unknown Number:** Hello. Minor Han gave me this number, he’s my cousin’s fiancé. This is awkward, but he said he thought you were a nice guy and that we might click… I’m also a male omega…  
 **Unknown Number:** Sorry, it’s really late, isn’t it? I was at my mother’s birthday party and I got a little drunk and wasn’t thinking about the time. Really sorry.

Well, hell. After everything, he couldn’t stop himself from having a tiny surge of hope.

_A male omega… Minor… I thought Minor was… and he actually recommended me to another omega?_

Shine was groggy from being woken up, so he rubbed at his face as he tried to decide how to respond, and whether he should respond now or wait until the morning.

That hope made him jump at any small chance.

 **Shine:** No, it’s fine, I don’t have anything to do tomorrow. I’m just at home by myself. Hi. What’s your name?

Casual? Friendly? But not desperate? He hoped so.

 **Unknown Number:** I’m Nick Jiang. Sorry again. Did I wake you up?

Shine quickly added the number into his contacts as _Nick Jiang._

 **Shine:** It’s really okay. I’d much rather be talking to one of Minor’s friends than sleeping.

The next text didn’t come for a while. Shine got up and used the bathroom waiting and waiting for it to come.

At last it did.

 **Nick:** He didn’t have a chance to tell me much about you, and of course you don’t know anything about me. Well. Before I waste your time any further, you should know that I’m a single dad… my alpha passed away five years ago. I have four sons, and I’m 33. Also I smoke and I’m not good looking.

Shine chuckled at Nick’s blunt self-deprecation.

Four potential stepsons… an instant family. It was a big challenge, but the thought excited him.

 **Shine:** A single dad of four! That must be tough. I really admire you. I smoke too so I can’t criticize you for smoking. You should send me a selfie and let me decide if you’re good looking or not. Here’s mine.

Shine sent the picture of himself that he used for dating apps, the light and angle flattering as he sat on a garden bench.

The reply came after a long enough pause to make him run through at least ten reasons why Nick might have blocked him.

 **Nick:** You look good. You sure you’re single? This is me.

The picture was clearly one just taken, the lighting poor, the person in the picture sitting up in a bed, tired, with a half-smile, wearing a t-shirt.

Shine’s first impression was that Nick was cute. Messy black hair, a round and flushed red face, probably due to the alcohol that he’d mentioned drinking. Sweetness attracted Shine; it was part of what had drawn him to try flirting with Minor at a bar. Nick was much more mature-looking than Minor, of course, but to be honest at this point in his life Shine found maturity an attractive quality too.

 _He does look like a daddy… soft and cuddly… I bet he looked really cute when he was pregnant..._

While Shine was still looking at Nick’s selfie, another message came in.

 **Nick:** Do you live in Loveland? I live in Jade Mountain.  
 **Shine:** I live in Jade Mountain too, I just bought a house here, but I work in Loveland. I do think you’re good looking and I would love to meet you.  
 **Nick:** Really? Maybe we could meet at a cafe tomorrow, if you’re free? Do you know the Starbucks on Commercial?  
 **Shine:** Sure, what time?   
**Nick:** 4:30? If we hit it off we can have dinner after? Or do something else.

Nick sent a winking sticker.

Shine swiped into his reminders app to make a reminder for himself to make a dinner reservation for 6pm somewhere decent.

 **Shine:** 4:30 sounds great  
 **Nick:** Okay. See you then! Goodnight.  
 **Shine:** Goodnight. Thanks for texting me.

He hit send before he could regret being possibly over-eager and desperate. Well, he _was_ over-eager and desperate.

Shine usually fell asleep easily but he couldn’t get back to sleep after that. Eventually he got up, made himself a cup of herbal tea and drank it while listening to classical music, then went back to bed, and this time was able to drift off.

———

Nick’s alarm went off at 6:30am.

He rubbed his head groggily as he sat up. Oh, hell. He never should have let them refill his beer at the birthday party… refill it twice... He was such a lightweight and he _knew_ he had to work and…

Suddenly he remembered drunk texting the number Minor gave him on a whim.

Oh no. Just _how_ horribly slutty had he been this time?

He scrolled through the texts rapidly, cringing at himself, but also relieved.

Fuzzily, he could remember being tempted to take his shirt off and send a topless pic. He hadn’t done that. Thank _God._

He was thirty fucking three years old and _still_ acting like this over the chance of getting some dick… well, no, he used to be a lot worse. Fifteen years ago he would have not only sent a naked pic but his address… to several alphas… and let them fight it out if more than one showed up...

“I’m so gross,” he muttered to himself, pulling himself out of bed and dragging himself to the shower, letting the hot water turn him into a passable imitation of a human being.

As he dressed, he nearly just pulled a regular shirt on, then muttered at himself, “Don’t be stupid,” and reversed course to grab a bite guard to put around his neck. He looped the cut-resistant straps around his shoulders, locked the chest strap with the key, and put the key back in the drawer. Then he put on a scoop neck undershirt and then a sweater. With the sweater over it, this style of bite guard just looked like a turtleneck.

While he ate his breakfast, he scribbled down a note for his two oldest boys, Jackson and Logan.

_Dad has a date! So I may be home late. If I’m not home by 5:30 you can use this money to buy dinner. You know the rules! I will have my phone on after 4, otherwise call Nainai if you can’t reach me. Stay safe and have a good day. Homework must be done by the time I get home! I will be checking! Love you!_

He tucked enough money for the thirteen- and eleven-year-old to buy themselves dinner under the note, downed the rest of his coffee, and went to the room that his two younger sons shared.

“Time to go to grandma’s,” he said, snapping on the light, and putting together their backpacks in a rush with clothes and other necessessities.

Keeping the car was his one luxury. He bundled Jonah and Lucas, still in their pajamas but with their coats over top, into the backseat and drove to his mother-in-law’s house.

She was up and ready for them, affectionately scolding the little boys for still being in their pajamas.

“Um, is it okay if the boys stay here a little later today? I have… an appointment,” Nick hedged.

His mother-in-law gave him a _you mean a date?_ lifted eyebrow, but mildly said, “That’s fine. Work hard today.”

At work, as he put his headset on, his coworker in the cubicle next to him said, “Good morning, Nick, you look terrible.”

“I know,” Nick muttered. “I got home late because it was my mother’s birthday party.”

“Oh! Was it a good time, at least? Did you meet anyone _nice?”_

Nick had an excuse not to respond, but not a pleasant one: he already had a call coming in.

After a long day of being yelled at for problems that were usually the fault of the people doing the yelling, when Nick looked at himself in the bathroom mirror at the end of the day, the reflection he saw was definitely not the look he wanted to have on a first date.

What a nightmare. Should he cancel?

He wasn’t allowed his personal phone at work because they had to handle private information sometimes—or at least that was the official reason, Nick suspected the actual reason was so that people couldn’t play games on their phone while taking calls. When he got his phone from his locker and put his badge away, there was already a text there from Shine.

 **Shine:** About to leave. Really looking forward to our date. Here’s a picture of what I’m wearing today so you can recognize me. Can I see one of you?

 _Really looking forward to our date._ Nick swallowed.

Shine looked a little less polished in the selfie, but still like a really nice guy.

_Minor said he took rejection well. So he’s going to be reasonable about rejecting me too. He won’t make a scene if I’m disappointing. Anyway, he’s an alpha, isn’t he? If I flare my pheromones at him he’ll be up for a fuck at least… it’d be enough just to get fucked, it’s been too long. We can do it in the dark._

This was not going to go anywhere. This was a potential fuck buddy, not a life partner. No need to be so anxious. Nick calmed down, fixed his hair a little in his phone’s camera, took a picture, and sent it to Shine.

———

When he parked, Shine found a return text from Nick.

So Nick wore glasses! Another tick on one of Shine’s turn-on boxes. He loved guys wearing glasses, and he loved the intimacy when the glasses came off, how their eyes would suddenly look bigger.

Despite the nice smile in the picture, Nick looked really tired. Even with the glasses, Shine could see how puffy and dark his eyes were.

He was wearing a turtleneck under a sweater. Was the reputation that omegas got cold more easily true, then?

Nick looked like such a classy guy, so respectable… Shine wondered what the omega’s occupation was. A teacher, maybe? He looked like a teacher.

He was early, but he went into the Starbucks anyway and ordered. On a Saturday, this particular location wasn’t busy at all. He took his latte to a seat in a booth in the corner by the window.

Shine saw Nick get off a bus. He had on a thick coat with the hood up, but the glasses were very distinctive. He walked up to the Starbucks entrance without looking at Shine's window and came in.

Shine stood up and held up his hand; Nick smiled and walked over.

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you."

"I'll just go get my coffee—I ordered it on my phone."

"Sure, go ahead."

Nick came back with his coffee, set it down, and started taking off his coat.

The label on the coffee was facing Shine. "Oh, we both ordered a hazelnut latte."

"Ah, really? Did you get an extra shot of espresso in yours too?" Nick folded his coat and put it on the seat next to him, and picked up his coffee to sip it.

The omega’s scent wafted across the table to him, and Shine tried not to inhale too obviously. He smelled like pandan and rock sugar. "No, just the regular."

"I really need the caffeine," Nick said. "I worked today so I had to wake up after only five hours of sleep."

"What do you do for work?"

"Nothing special. I answer tech support calls."

"Really? You must know a lot about computers then."

"I actually don't. I have to follow a script. What do you do for work?" The question came very quickly and Shine got the sense that Nick didn't want to talk about his job.

"I'm a chemical engineer.”

“You know, I don’t actually know what a chemical engineer does.”

Shine chuckled. “Most people don’t. Lots of things, it’s one of tho widest engineering fields. In my company, most of my work is on emissions reductions."

Nick’s eyes widened. “Oh! That’s… that’s really important work!”

Shine laughed sheepishly. “Well, I feel fortunate about that.”

There was a lull. They both sipped their coffee.

“Shine,” Nick started while Shine said, “So…” at the same time.

Shine gestured for Nick to go ahead.

Nick tapped his fingers on his coffee cup. “I guess you could say I’m a very straightforward person… and I don’t like to waste time… so could I ask you more about what you’re looking for?”

Shine nodded and explained: that he was only attracted to men, that he had shied away from male omegas until recently because he assumed he didn’t have a chance, but that now that he was under time pressure from his family to start a family, he had decided that he would at least give it a try before settling for a lavender marriage with a beta woman.

Nick nodded thoughtfully. “Does your family know you’re gay?”

“No, they don’t… I’ll admit that’s part of it too. I mean… you know very well that a lot of people don’t consider male alphas with male omegas to ‘count’ as gay.” Shine coloured a little. “I guess it’s cowardly to want to avoid having that conversation with my parents. They don’t understand why I’m dragging my feet against meeting with all the women they find for me. If I introduced a male omega to them as my pair, I think they would accept it easily and not wonder any further.”

Nick smiled. “Avoiding having sex conversations with family is a totally understandable motivation, believe me… well, then, that means you’ve only had sex with… beta men? Other alphas?”

“Both,” said Shine, glad he was already blushing. He wasn’t used to having sexual conversations with people he just met. 

“Because you know I don’t look like that down there,” Nick said, then reddened a little himself. “Sorry. I told you I was blunt.”

“No, I get what you’re asking,” Shine said. “You’re wondering if I’ll be attracted to your body. That’s a fair thing to ask. I… I do watch porn with omegas and I think… no, I’m sure. I’d be attracted.” He coughed. “God, this is embarrassing. But I’m glad you’re being so direct about this. You’re right that it’s important to get this kind of thing clear.”

Nick was looking down at his coffee and didn’t say anything.

“Uh… in terms of other potential issues… like I said I own a house,” said Shine, embarrassed to be forced to list his own accomplishments. Nick was still staring at his coffee. “And my parents live with me, but there’d still be plenty of room for your children… and…” Shine thought of saying _and for children we had together_ but chickened out and rushed the subject along. “I think my parents are pretty easy to get along with. They love children, but I’m all they had. Being a single dad to four boys after losing your alpha must have been very difficult. I really admire you for working and—”

“I’m a slut,” Nick suddenly interrupted. His voice wasn’t loud, but the word choice made Shine stop instantly.

“You’re… what?”

“I’m not a respectable person like you’re thinking. I dress like this now but it’s not who I am.” Nick’s voice was still at a normal volume, very calm, but his hands were gripping the coffee cup tightly. “I’m not a sweet, hard-working omega who had one bad thing happen, who deserves your pity. I never graduated from university because I got pregnant. The sire of my first baby tried to kill me because he thought I was pregnant by somebody else, because he knew I was a slut. He went to jail; he’s still in jail. I was ashamed to try to live off money from my parents, so I did porn. That’s where I met my alpha. Doing porn. And that’s how we made money when he was alive. Maybe you’ve wanked to me from when I was younger and cuter. I’m not… good spouse material, like you’re looking for. I was hoping maybe you would be okay with just someone to fuck… I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry for wasting your time. I should go.”

“Nick, stop, wait,” said Shine as Nick started to get up. “Don’t just drop a bunch of bombs and leave. At least let me process this a little.”

Nick was blushing really deeply now as he actually looked at Shine and let himself slink back onto his seat like a kid caught trying to skip class.

“You’re right that I’m surprised,” said Shine. “Yeah, I want to find an omega to marry. But if casual sex is all you’re looking for, I can accept that. It’s been a dry period for me too.”

Nick laughed a little. “For me it’s been two years…” He trailed off and his face twisted for a moment. “Listen, I don’t want to mess with someone who’s actually decent. The last night me, who texted you, was the drunk me who just wanted dick. I told myself today that maybe you’d be okay with just hooking up but… good alphas get attached really easily, and you _want_ to get attached. I can’t mess with you like that.”

“Can I ask—Is it that you don’t want a serious relationship? Or you’re just assuming that I wouldn’t want one with you?”

Nick’s face was sceptical, bordering on suspicious. “You’re actually saying you’d be okay marrying a former porn star who already has children with multiple men?”

Shine couldn’t answer immediately when it was put like that, and Nick let out a huff that clearly said it was what he expected and drank from his coffee.

“I did say it was dropping bombshells and that I needed to process it,” said Shine. “It isn’t what I expected of your past… and it’s shocking. Being shocked doesn’t mean I can’t adjust to it.”

Nick took another drink of coffee and as he did, a little dribble of coffee slipped past his lips. He wiped it with his thumb, still looking at the table

This little, intimate motion ignited a flame inside Shine.

_I want to kiss his lips and rub my fingers over them. Even if only once._

“I’ve had casual sex partners in the past,” said Shine, “and almost always ended with no hard feelings. Although… I’ve never been with an omega. You would have to be patient with me.”

———

_At some point my sex drive has got to cool it, right?_

Today was definitely not that point. Nick’s pussy had been slicking up from anticipation when he was still on the bus. There had been a splash of cold water to the face when he realized that Minor had inadvertently left out a key fact when he said Shine was a nice guy—he was a nice guy that was looking for a nice _spouse_. Which meant that Nick had to come clean that he was just a used up wad of bad decisions, trying not to let himself mess up his kids lives too much and not even doing well at that.

But Shine wouldn’t be scared off. And now they were checking into the hourly rate hotel nearby—the exact reason Nick had picked this coffee shop. And his cock was throbbing.

_This is a bad idea._

_Doesn’t matter! Gonna get dick!_

_But this is such a bad idea!_

His last attempt at casual sex had been traumatic and humiliating on every level—an alpha who pulled at Nick’s bite collar so savagely that Nick couldn’t breathe and passed out. The alpha fled without even bothering to get dressed, apparently under the panicked impression that he’d killed Nick, and the hotel staff had been spooked enough by the streaker to call the police. 

The worst part was being visited by his children in the hospital. His oldest sons, eleven and eight at the time, were not stupid and he knew they knew that he’d been attacked. He was so ashamed, even though they only hugged him and played video games on their handheld devices while waiting for him to be released.

Nick had blamed himself for everything. He had met the alpha through an online service for selling scent cloths—well, _met_ was too strong a word, actually the alpha had taken clues from the photos and other details in Nick’s profile on the scent cloth site and tracked down his real identity and _showed up outside his work_ to ask for a date. Despite this being creepy as all hell, the alpha looked so unassuming that Nick had let himself be suckered into agreeing to a date, telling himself that someone who looked so shy and harmless couldn’t be all that bad.

Nick shuddered to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t been wearing a bite guard. At least he hadn’t been _that_ stupid.

The alpha didn’t face any legal consequences. Selling or trading scent cloths was legal, but Nick was terrified that the police might get suspicious that the alpha had been paying for sex too. He couldn’t risk being arrested for prostitution, so he insisted that everything had just been an accident and misunderstanding, totally consensual, please go away and don’t investigate.

What would he have done if nearly asphyxiating Nick hadn’t permanently scared off the alpha? He had no idea.

He had deleted his scent cloth profile as soon as he got home from the hospital, even though the income had been really helpful.

It seemed like finding casual sex partners as an omega, which hadn’t exactly been safe and easy when he was in his twenties, was now almost impossible.

And he knew that he could never be anything more. Not to someone who wasn’t insane at best.

“I got the key,” Shine said, breaking Nick out of his reverie as the alpha stepped closer. His rice and sesame scent was so heartbreakingly _good._ Nick wanted it wrapped all around him like a blanket. He felt the desire to release pheromones back, and he let it happen.

_Why am I even kidding myself that I’m not going to do this? I want to do it so bad. I want him to fuck me. Let’s just… okay, damage control, damage control. I can… block his number after this? Tell Minor not to tell him anything more about me. Just get a good dicking and then ghost him like a little bitch._

Nick knew he wouldn’t really be able to do that, but it was enough to calm his fears and let himself let go of his rational mind as he went in the elevator with Shine.

“I don’t actually know your family name,” Nick said, fidgeting with his messenger bag strap as the door closed.

“Oh! It’s Huo, as in sudden," said Shine, and Nick had to laugh at the coincidence between the name and their current behaviour.

Shine laughed too, but then he pulled his card case out of his pocket and Nick’s laughter died in his throat as Shine got out a card to offer him.

The proper etiquette would be to offer Shine in return Nick’s own business card. But that would give Shine all kinds of information about him—his Chinese name, which he deliberately hadn’t offered; his company, his exact role, his email. He’d been reassuring himself that he _could_ ghost this guy if he needed to. If he gave him his card, he couldn’t do that.

Nick took the card, and the opening elevator door gave him an excuse not to grab his own. “Which room is it?” he said, stepping out and looking at the directional arrows.

“31,” said Shine, and they turned right together.

When the door closed behind them, Nick suddenly blurted, “Testing status.”

Shine, who was taking off his shoes, blinked, but then said, “Oh, right, of course. Um, I was tested a month ago, clean, and the last time I had sex was two months ago… but as far as sex goes I don’t… I mean… I actually mostly have thigh sex because… well, you know how it is with alphas…”

Nick was puzzled. He didn’t have any idea what Shine was alluding to. Nick had certainly never had thigh sex with an alpha. “I’m not following you.”

“Giving anal is… difficult, plus, I know it’s risky, since I can’t use a condom,” said Shine. “I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never done it, but the older I get the more I wouldn’t want to do it with just a sex buddy. I haven’t been in a serious relationship for… this is embarrassing… more than five years.”

“Risky,” mused Nick. “Well. I got a full work up done just a few months ago, even though I hadn’t had any sex since my previous work up. My doctor just assumed I was still active, I guess. Still clean.”

Then they were just staring at each other, Shine with his shoes off but nothing else, Nick still gripping the strap of his bag like a lifeline.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” said Shine.

“But I _do_ want to,” said Nick. “I’m just nervous.”

“Well… we’re basically strangers, so that’s understandable,” said Shine.

_Yeah. Basically strangers, but I just want to get on all fours for you, because I’m such a dumb fucking slut._

_This would be easier if you weren’t still looking at me like you respect me._

Suddenly Shine swallowed, and when Nick breathed, the alpha scent in the air had thickened. “Would it help if I… purred for you?”

Oh. _Oh._

How long since he’d gotten _that?_ Jason didn’t like to do it; he only did it as a ‘special occasion’. If Nick asked for it, he’d comply but he’d be testy and he’d always stop way too soon.

And certainly nobody since Jason. Purring was…

Nick felt a wave of intense yearning welling up inside him, threatening to leak out his eyes. “Yeah,” he choked out, pulling his bag off his shoulder and squatting down to untie his shoes. “Yeah, that’d be real nice.”

The omega blinked back the irrational tears and focused on the feeling of the laces on his fingers, and then the hard metal of his zipper as he took off his coat. When he had grounded himself enough with this method that he no longer felt in danger of crying, he noticed that Shine had also taken off his coat and that he was lying on the bed, pulling back the blankets to offer a place to Nick. The rest of his clothes were still on.

Nick likewise didn’t undress further. He got into the offered space and let Shine pull the blanket back over them both. The alpha was already purring and Nick felt the gentle rumble soothing all of his anxiety away.

This was so nice… this was wonderful, this was the best…

There was chuckling mixed in with the purr. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

Had Nick said some of that aloud? Maybe he had… he couldn’t keep his eyes open…

———

Shine had, over the years, indulged in various fantasies about being with an omega. Sexual fantasies of knotting and marking, of course, but also domestic fantasies.

Here was one of his fantasies come true. Purring for his omega while he slept peacefully in Shine’s embrace.

But of course Nick wasn’t _his_ omega.

At least… not yet.

Courting Nick was going to be a real challenge… but Shine felt in his gut that Nick did want to be courted. That Nick wanted to be loved, and to love someone. Rationally, he could admit that maybe he was just projecting what he wanted Nick to be onto the omega. But the way Nick looked when Shine offered to purr for him… the way his voice cracked, so vulnerable and adorable…

That wasn’t someone who didn’t want love.

With Nick asleep for the moment, Shine kept pondering the situation.

Nick had dropped so many shocking things in one speech, and then Shine had mostly had to focus on convincing Nick not to bolt. And then Nick had kept bringing up the porn thing, that he had children by multiple men, always disparaging and blaming himself...

_The sire of Nick’s first child tried to kill him._

Shine felt his pheromones output even more, indulging his instinct to cover the omega he wanted to protect with his scent.

Nick had framed it in the speech as something wrong with _Nick,_ as a natural consequence for being ‘a slut,’ as something that should make Shine recoil from him.

Shine didn’t know how many shitty alphas Nick had encountered over the years, but as far as he was concerned his alpha instincts reacted totally the opposite.

_Protect. Protect. Protect._

Shine could guess that Nick would have a lot more to reveal to him, if Shine could prove himself worthy of Nick’s trust.

He wanted to know everything. Even if they didn’t become mates.

Shine had thought he knew a little about self-doubt. That had been part of the connection he felt with Minor, this sense of being a bit of a misfit or someone who just wasn’t good enough, who didn’t expect to be liked.

Nick however took that to a whole new level. Never had Shine expected to encounter an omega who thought that _Shine_ was too good for him. Shine had always considered himself an average alpha at best, not anything like special enough to attract someone as rare and desired as a male omega.

Shine gently, gradually tugged off Nick’s glasses and carefully reached over to put them on the nightstand, purring all the while so that the omega wouldn’t wake up.

For a while he just watched Nick sleeping up close. It was so primally satisfying, feeling like he was meeting Nick’s needs like this, helping him get the sleep the omega obviously needed.

However when the clock showed that forty-five minutes had passed, reluctantly Shine decided he would need to wake Nick up. Nick had come to this hotel room with the idea of spending an hour or so for sex, not for sleeping for hours on end. Nick was a daddy, after all; maybe he would need to check in with whatever childcare he was using, or maybe he had a firm time he needed to get them.

Shine let the purr stop and said, nudging at Nick, “Nick. Nick, wake up.”

Nick woke up faster than Shine expected with how deeply he had seemed to have been sleeping. “Huh? What? What happened? Where…?” Suddenly he panicked. “Oh God, how long have I been asleep?! My kids—”

“It’s only been forty-five minutes,” Shine interrupted, “I figured you might need to do something with the kids, that’s why I woke you up.”

Nick physically relaxed, but then looked confused again. “You… you just let me sleep for forty-five minutes?”

“I really enjoyed it,” Shine assured him. “I”ve never gotten to purr for a human like that before. And you looked so cute sleeping.”

“For a human?”

Whoops. Shine hadn’t meant to admit that… “Okay, I know this is weird, but… I purr for my cats.”

Nick’s face remained a bit confused, but also began to smile. “You purr for your cats.”

“They purr back sometimes,” Shine said, feeling himself blush.

“I like cats,” said Nick. “How many do you have?”

“Three. Maybe when we’ve been dating for a little more, you can come over to meet them?” Shine smiled back. “Do you need to leave now or call someone?”

“Well… yes, but… I made you pay for the room and we didn’t…”

“If anything I should apologize that you didn’t get the dick you wanted,” said Shine, and was heartened when Nick laughed.

“You’re… you’re really nice, Shine,” said Nick. “You really… want to date more?”

“I really want to date more.”

Nick got out of the bed and didn’t say anything right away. Shine watched him put on his shoes and coat and pick up his bag.

“Well… well, Shine, I have your card and your number so… I don’t want to make promises, but… can I say I’ll think about it?”

Could be a lot worse. “Yeah. Can I text you with the number I have? And even if you don’t want to date, if you want to try for just sex sometime when you’re not so tired, I’d be up for a redo.”

“Yeah, okay. Text me.”

———

 **Nick:** I want to see you again.  
 **Shine:** That’s great. When are you free? I’m pretty much only free weekends. My commute is long.  
 **Nick:** Lunch this Sunday?  
 **Shine:** It’s a date.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning that I have no idea where this plot is going, at all.

“—then how about this one?”

Shine’s mother laid out another file from the matchmaking service. Another headshot of a 30-ish woman, smiling and reasonably attractive.

If you were attracted to women, that is.

“She’s a receptionist in an pharmaceutical company,” said his mother. “That’s a bit like chemical engineering, isn’t it!”

“Mama… can we drop it for now? Work today was really stressful, and…”

“If you had a wife,” she said, “you would be less stressed! I know you were always a very shy little boy but you have a lot to offer a woman now!”

His father broke in here. “Your work is always stressful. Every time your mother brings this up you say you are too stressed. You are causing your mother stress! She just wants to help you find a wife! You haven’t been doing anything and you are already thirty-three!”

“I am trying to date,” said Shine. “I’m going to have a second date on Sunday, in fact.”

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“What’s she like? How old is she? How did you meet her? Does she work? What does she do? Does she live in Jade Mountain? What’s her family name?”

In Chinese, the third person pronoun in speech sounded exactly the same, but Shine knew they meant a woman. But it meant he was able to answer back without revealing that Nick was a man without lying.

“Thirty-three is a little bit old,” his father said with a frown.

“I’m thirty three.”

“But you’re the man,” said his father. “Women get less fertile as they get older. It’s not as if this Jiang woman is an omega.”

Shine took a deep breath. “He is an omega.”

Again, to his parents, because they were speaking Chinese, they heard this as  _ she _ is an omega.

“An unmarried omega at thirty three!” exclaimed his mother. “What’s wrong with her?”

“His alpha died,” Shine snapped with far more heat than he ever let himself express towards his parents. “He’s very hard-working and sweet, raising four boys by himself.”

His parents were momentarily speechless at this, looking at each other.

His father recovered first. “So you’d rather have an omega, even like that? With another man’s sons?”

Now Shine was surprised. He knew his parents liked children. It hadn't occurred to him that they might be anything less than thrilled at Shine finding himself a family that already had some.

But his parents were acting like… like the old derogatory idiom about a widow bringing her children to a second marriage.  _ Tuo you ping:  _ dragging in a jar of grease.

“I don’t think it’s anything bad,” said Shine. “I have a headache coming on and I think I should lie down.”

His parents let him go, even though he was lying about an approaching migraine. He used to get them very badly, but since he’d gotten on medication for them they were much rarer.

Still, he laid on his bed in the dark and quiet.

His cat Xiahou Dun, a former street cat that was missing an eye, padded into the room and leapt up to push a paw against Shine’s chest gently.

Shine smiled. “Dundun, you’ve already been fed.”

Dundun meowed and poked at his chest again more insistently.

“You want me to purr for you?” Shine started to purr, and the cat stretched with great satisfaction and lay down against Shine’s chest.

———

Nick checked his phone. He was early to their date and Shine wasn’t there yet.

**Dad:** everything okay at home?

This was the first time he’d ever left Jackson in charge with all his siblings.

**Jackson:** it’s fine Dad we’re just watching a movie  
**Jackson:** is your date there yet? Is he nice?  
**Dad:** he’s not here yet.  
**Jackson:** you should have fun Dad

His son sent a sticker of a little spaceman doing a dance, and Nick chuckled.

**Dad:** I’ll try. Love you.

“Hi,” said a voice, and Nick looked up from his phone and put it away.

“Hi Shine.”

“Shall we go in?”

They went in to the Italian restaurant and sat down.

“Is it okay if we split the bill?” Nick asked after the waiter took their orders.

“If that makes you more comfortable, then sure,” said Shine. “But I wouldn’t think you owed me anything for ¥100 of pasta.”

Nick chuckled. “You’d be surprised how many people do expect things. Although it’s not like I don’t want to do those things.”

Shine’s expression got keener. “I did offer a redo.”

“I don’t really know this neighbourhood,” said Nick, “so I don’t know what’s convenient for that. But I’m sure we can find something on our phones.”

“I know this neighbourhood really well because I live around here,” said Shine. “Would it be too soon to invite you to my place? My parents won’t be there; they work.”

Nick decided to sidestep the invitation for now and mull it over. “What do they do?”

“They both work at the same noodle soup restaurant. Have done ever since I can remember. My dad cooks and my mother runs the till.” Shine smiled. “I used to sit in the corner doing my homework every day, when I was a kid.”

“You must eat a lot of noodle soup then,” said Nick.

The conversation flowed, sometimes very fluidly and flirtatiously, occasionally awkward or stilted.

“Did you date Minor for long?” said Nick.

“Minor?” said Shine. “Oh, no, we never actually dated, not really. He was recently broken up with his boyfriend and very up front that he was not ready to date. And then they got back together, although—” He stopped and flushed. “Sorry, I forgot his… fiancé is your cousin.”

Nick chuckled. “Alphas never like other alphas, right?”

“It isn’t that,” Shine insisted defensively. “I get along with a lot of alphas, I even dated some, remember? But that guy was just…”

“Oh, I know Jacob looks rough but he’s practically still a kid, you know. At least to me. He’s a sweetheart,” said Nick affectionately. “Jacob’s father was really awful, it’s all thanks to my auntie that Jacob isn’t a douche too. You’ve got to understand, I think a lot of that punk stuff was to get back at his father.” Nick glanced around and leaned forward to say in a lower voice, “You know, his father was that general that had the big scandal and killed himself. Abraham Ling.”

Wow. So this was what it was like to be the one gossiping about others, instead of the one they were sharing horrible truths about in hushed voices. 

“The one who tried to frame his son? I thought his son was named Gavin Bai. The one who turned out to be a superhero and is married to those others…”

“Yes, that’s Jacob’s older half-brother,” said Nick. “I’ve never him. It didn’t surprise me at all when I heard about it, to tell you the truth. I mean, it was shocking, but Jacob’s father had always acted like his illegitimate son was a dirty secret. My uncle always hated me, too. Even when I was a kid. I couldn’t understand why he always treated my brothers fine but ignored or glared at me. When I grew up I realized it was because I was a male omega and he thinks we’re gross. He always…” Nick looked down at his pasta. “He was always saying stuff like, ‘what else can you expect.’”

Nick forked a ravioli and chewed it down.

“Sounds like he should have been the black sheep of the family,” said Shine.

“Oh no, when he was alive, he was so respectable. A high ranking general, you know,” said Nick acidly. “Only now that he’s dead is everyone saying things. Just in time for my aunt and cousin to be the only ones left to be hurt by it. Not that I think Jacob cared. His dad must be screaming in the afterlife if he knows that Jacob is marrying a male omega. They’re both of them more than meets the eye, I think. My mother sat me next to Minor at her birthday party because we were the only male omegas there, and she just assumed we’d hit it off. I remember I was looking at him and thinking there was no way this kid is going to want to talk to me. He had that dark avant-garde red carpet look, you know, and he was so young… but he surprised me. So cheerful and friendly.”

“Yeah,” said Shine, while Nick sipped his wine.

“I have to say,” Nick said, even though he would very much rather not say, “I’m still confused why, if you were interested in Minor, you’d settle for me. I mean unless you just want a male omega and anyone will do.”

He said this last part very lightly, with a smile, as if it was a joke, but it was no joke. It was the only conclusion he’d been able to muster.

“I thought you might wonder about that,” said Shine. “I think it would be fair to say that I’d give any single male omega a try to date. I mean there are so few of you, it would be foolish for me not to try dating someone who was willing. But that doesn’t mean I’ll just close my eyes to every other thing. And it definitely doesn’t mean that you didn’t happen to be my type anyway.”

“You’re saying I’m your type?” Nick said doubtfully.

“You’re really cute,” said Shine, looking as if he was forcing himself to maintain eye contact. “I really…  _ really  _ liked holding you.”

Nick unconsciously licked his lips. In his masturbation sessions since that date, his mind kept drifting back to how wonderful it felt being enveloped in Shine’s scent, arms, and purr, and taking it to the next step, having all of that plus a thick, hot alpha knot inside him. He picked up his wine glass to finish it.

“But what about you?” said Shine. “I’m not being humble when I say I’ve never been in demand. You said I looked good. Do you really think so?”

It was shy, insecure. Shine wasn’t handsome, he didn’t have a great body, but…

“You’re like a gentleman,” said Nick, “and that’s always attractive. Also that blush.”

The blush was even redder now, spreading to his ears.

By the time he’d finished his food, Nick had also made up his mind.

“What’s your address?” he said. “So I can text my son and let him know where I am.”

Shine told him, then added, “Maybe you’d better give him my home phone number too.”

As Nick got into Shine’s car, he read the return text from Jackson and got a lump in his throat.

**Jackson:** Okay. Everybody’s fine here. Please be safe Dad.

———

When Shine brought Nick inside, a young cat that Shine had found as a kitten, came up at a scamper and rubbed against her master’s legs.

“This is Godiva,” said Shine, picking the cat up, “and the little black thing glaring at us through the window is Lord Bao. My third cat usually only comes around at night. He has only one eye and I call him Xiahou Dun.”

“What clever names,” laughed Nick. “Why Godiva?”

“She had pretty bad mange when I found her,” said Shine, “so she looked naked. She’s the friendliest. Lord Bao rarely lets himself come close enough to be touched. Mostly he just…”

“...judges you?” Nick supplied, hanging up his coat and putting on house slippers.

Shine put Godiva down so he could take off his coat and shoes too. “You got it. Plus he has that white patch on his forehead.” He straightened up. “I’ll show you around?”

The house tour of course had one final destination in mind: Shine’s bedroom.

Shine felt himself getting hard as Nick sat down on his bed. “This is a nice mattress. I like soft mattresses like this.”

“Would you like me to purr for you again?”

Nick gave him a flirtatious look and pulled himself up the bed, reaching up to take off his glasses. “How about afterward, this time?”

Shine got in bed and tried not to be too eager as he went for their first kiss. Nick’s lips were as soft as they had looked. The sweet scent of pandan made his mouth water as Nick lay down, pulling Shine down with him.

“I’m really wet for you,” Nick murmured against his mouth. “Wanna feel?”

Oh, wow. The sort of line he’d dreamed of hearing, and now he was actually hearing it. Shine wasn’t sure where he got the boldness to say in return, “I wanna see it.”

“Ah… okay,” said Nick, a little less suave than before, but he pulled off his sweater and let Shine help him tug off his jeans and briefs, so that he was down to his bite guard and socks.

“Oh my God,” Shine couldn’t help whispering as he got his first good look at Nick naked, drinking in every detail, he was absolutely gorgeous… then his eyes fixated on a tattoo that curved along the line of Nick’s hipbone. It was the English words  _ we are all in the gutter,  _ surrounded by stars that trailed up his ribs.

Shine had seen that tattoo before.

Nick hadn’t been kidding when he said that Shine might have wanked to him. He definitely had.

“Recognize me now?” Nick said, and Shine’s gaze jerked back up to his face. Nick was breathing a little hard.

“You’re Trouble Xiao,” said Shine, and Nick smiled.

“Yeah. Were you a fan, then?”

“I… well… I’m a subscriber on AlphaHub, so…”

“Still? I haven’t released anything new in years.”

“But the stuff that’s already there is… especially…” Shine could feel how hot his cheeks were. What should he be saying? Admitting how hot Shine found his films didn’t feel like the right thing to say, but neither did saying he didn’t care about it, even if it hadn’t been a lie to say so.

“Especially…? What? The marking video? That’s my most popular, even now. I still make a couple thousand yuan a month from just that one.”

“I… I’ve seen that one, but, actually, I usually rewatched your masturbation videos most,” Shine admitted.

Nick’s smile, which had been hard and humourless, softened, and his hand moved to his little cock and began to stroke it. “Did you like to watch me doing this?”

A fantasy right before his eyes, in his bed. “Yeah… Nick...”

“Hmm?”

“Can I give you head?”

Nick’s grin widened. “Only if you promise to fuck me after.”

Shine had never been more eager to promise anything.

———

Nick had really thought that Shine was going to freak out when he realized what kind of content Nick had put out. After all, Nick had seen for himself the comments on his AlphaHub account. Nothing like seeing a bunch of pricks who had just beat their meat to his videos getting moralistic about how disgusting it was that an omega would let himself be filmed getting fucked while pregnant, or share something so intimate as being marked.

Lately people loved to speculate about why he had stopped releasing videos.

_ Probably overdosed on drugs. _

_ I heard he killed himself. _

_ I think it’s good that he stopped releasing videos… imagine what he must look like now, if he’s still alive. _

Yet now Nick was looking down at the top of Shine’s head as he enthusiastically alternated between sucking his cock and licking up his slick while usually having either a finger or his tongue inside his pussy.

“Let me know when you’re going to cum,” said Shine, “I don’t want to miss a drop.”

“Oh fuck,” moaned Nick. “Fuck, I really am gonna cum. Oh, Shine!”

Just as he’d said, Shine swallowed as Nick came, looking up at Nick’s face as the omega keened.

“I loved how you said my name,” Shine said when Nick was finished.

“Then make me say it more,” Nick said. “Fuck me now.”

Shine immediately sat up, his hands going to his belt.

“Shine,” Nick encouraged, pulling his knees up and apart, “want you to fuck me so hard, Shine, want your alpha cock inside me.”

Shine ripped off his pants in a hurry, his thick cock springing free.

_ Finally, finally, finally gonna get fucked— _

Nick cried out in joy when Shine thrust into him. The alpha chose to kneel and lift Nick’s ass up with his hands, looking down at him from above.

“Gorgeous,” he heard Shine panting as he orgasmed. “You’re so sexy, Nick, oh my God. I don’t know how I’m going to last.”

“That’s—shit!—that’s okay, just don’t you dare fucking slow down,” moaned Nick.

“I might knot you. God, I really want to knot you.”

_ Bad idea. Such a bad idea. Really, really not a good— _

“Yeah, knot me!” Nick cried out. “Knot my slutty pussy, Shine! Fill me with your cum, alpha!”

Shine’s hands dropped his butt, the alpha’s body fell heavily on top of him, nearly knocking the breath out of him by itself and even more with how Shine’s mouth hungrily latched onto his own. The hips thrust up and down against him only a few more times before Nick felt his entrance stretch and lock around Shine’s knot, felt himself getting filled just like he craved. He whimpered into Shine’s mouth as he came again, feeling his own cum squirting between them.

Once Nick came down from his orgasm, he was horrified at himself.

_ Why did you let him knot you?! You idiot. You moron! You dumb fucking slut! What are you going to do if you go into heat? Who’s going to to take the kids? How are you going to afford the hospital? _

Shine had been kissing him through his own orgasm, moaning against his lips, but he must have realized that Nick was panicking because he stopped to say, “Nick? Nick, are you okay?”

“I fucked up,” Nick said. No sense in sugarcoating it, not that he ever did so anyway. “I’m sorry. I’m not blaming you. I know I said you could knot me. I’m just so fucking screwed if I go into heat.”

“Oh…” Shine looked guilty nonetheless. “I wasn’t really thinking either, I just wanted to do it so badly… I’ve never knotted anyone before.”

Oh, great. Shine’s first, and maybe only, opportunity to knot someone, and here Nick was ruining the experience. Nick tried to act calmer. “It’s fine. I’m on suppressants, so, you know, it’s more likely than not that I won’t. I’m just a worrier.”

Shine seemed to buy it. Still, he clearly was still concerned. “You know I’d help anyway I can. It’s my responsibility too… really, it would only be fair for me to bear all the financial cost, because there’s nothing I could do about how awful it must be to go through a dry heat.”

It sucked that Nick couldn’t refuse financial help out of hand. If he couldn’t make rent or pay his kids’ tuition because of his pride, that would fuck them up even more. “...Thank you.”

“I won’t knot you again, even if you ask for it,” Shine said. “We should have talked about it before sex.”

“Well, it’s too late now,” said Nick. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not mad at you. A lot of alphas would have just knotted without asking.” He smiled. “Hey, your first knot, huh? Let’s make it positive. How did it feel?”

Shine was really shining with happiness as he answered that. “Absolutely amazing. Oh my God. So good. And feeling us tied together like this is… a dream come true. Really.”

“Then it’s all worth it,” Nick said lightly.

———

Nick fell asleep again as they cuddled, but jerked awake when his phone rang.

While Nick was still getting his bearings about where he was and what he was doing, Shine ducked down to the foot of the bed when Nick’s pants had ended up and grabbed his phone for him.

“Hello?” Nick said, picking up the call, and listened. “Oh, really? Let me talk to him.” A pause. “Jonah, I told you Dage [oldest big brother] was in charge.” Another pause. “I don’t care if you don’t like the way he said it. That has nothing to do with it.” Nick ran his hand through his hair. “Jonah I’m not arguing with you about this. It  _ is _ fair. Just pick it up and put it away. Give the phone back to Dage.” Nick began pulling on his underwear. “I’ll be home soon. Is everything else okay?” He listened. “Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be home soon… fine, sure.” Nick looked an apology at Shine, and Shine waved it away. “Hi sweetie.” Pause. “I miss you too. Are you being good for Dage?” Pause. “That’s great. I can’t wait to see it. Okay, I have to go now. Love you. Bye-bye.”

Nick hung up the phone. “Sorry about that… I really should be getting home. This is the first time I let my oldest be the babysitter and I shouldn’t try to push it by leaving them alone too long.”

“Of course, your kids come first,” said Shine. “Can I drive you home?”

“I guess at this point it would be weird not to let you know where I live, if we’re fucking,” said Nick. “Um… I’m sorry, I think it’s too soon to introduce you to my kids, though.”

Shine waved this away too. “No, don’t worry, I get it. When they’re little, especially, it’s better to wait.”

“You’re way too understanding,” Nick mock-griped, pulling his sweater on. “Don’t you have any flaws?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure them out soon enough,” said Shine. “Date me more so that you can.”

On the drive home they arranged another date for Friday night.

When Shine pulled over to let Nick out, he looked over to see Nick resting his hand on his abdomen.

_ The bulge from my knot… I will never, ever forget seeing it and touching it… _

“I’ll text you in a day or two to let you know everything is cool… or, or if it isn’t… I might need to take you up on your offer to help,” said Nick. “A lot would depend on if I can get relatives to watch my kids. If I have to pay for overnight care…”

Shine put a hand out to take Nick’s and rubbed his thumb across it. “If you need the help, I’ll help. One hundred percent.”

Nick smiled, then leaned in for a goodbye kiss. “Thanks for the ride.”

“See you Friday,” said Shine, and watched Nick walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags updated for more specific triggers. Please take care of yourself if dark content regarding abuse, especially sexually assault might trigger you! Just to reassure you if you need it, Nick will have a happy ending with Shine.

The next time Shine felt horny, he opened up AlphaHub without really considering what he was doing and then paused.

Curiosity killed the cat.

But Shine had already watched all of the Trouble Xiao videos, or at least most of them. It’s not like he’d be seeing something new.

It was just… he wondered if maybe he would understand something new now.

He went into the Trouble Xiao channel and sorted the videos by oldest first and clicked the first video.

It was a webcam video that didn’t show his face, and it had been uploaded twelve years before. Under the poor quality eye of the camera, Trouble—Nick—knelt on a towel, working a knotting dildo into his hole. The tattoo was there, just as Shine had seen it in real life.

He skipped over the next few videos until he got to one where Trouble showed his face. The caption on this one mentioned that it was a commission, so somebody must have paid for it. Trouble was wearing briefs that he slid to the side as he put an egg vibrator into himself and then rubbed his cock. He looked into the camera as he moaned.

“Alpha, alpha, I miss you alpha.”

This time Shine was focused on Trouble’s face.

Fans always remarked that Trouble had beautiful sad eyes. They were all highlighted with heavy eye makeup but now that he was looking for it Shine could recognize the man he’d fucked.

After he’d cum several times, always catching his semen in the briefs, Trouble made a show of taking off the briefs and putting them into a bubble mailer.

This must have been Trouble’s first big money maker, masturbating in a pair of underwear and then selling both the underwear and the video of him masturbating to the client, while also getting paid for the views online. There were a bunch of these underwear videos. The quality of the camera got better as Shine scrolled down. Some of these were among Shine’s favourites.

Then began the videos of Trouble with another person.

A POV camera, attached onto the alpha as he watched Trouble ride him.

“I need a cock in my cunt, alpha. I need a thick knot so bad, my slutty pussy needs to drink up your cum. Please, please give it to me~”

The alpha didn’t say anything, didn’t even make a sound. The only sounds were from Trouble. It made it really easy for an alpha viewer to self-insert into the fantasy.

Only when the alpha popped his knot was there a short groan for a moment, almost drowned out by Trouble’s lewd moans and words.

“Ahhhhh yes! Alpha! Your knot is splitting me open! Sooo good!”

Trouble was coaxing out yet another orgasm from his little cock as his belly swelled.

Shine has masturbated to this one, too, or one just like it.

There were a few more knot videos like this, different positions, never showing the alpha, alternating with more of the underwear videos.

Then came the heat videos, which included the marking video.

These were filmed by multiple still cameras that had been cut together.

First came the heat masturbation video. Heat masturbation was one of the most popular categories on AlphaHub but Shine didn’t like them. There was an element of sadism to heat masturbation videos, especially ones where omegas were filmed going through a dry heat. The masturbation so plainly didn’t satisfy. Often the omega would be crying or begging; sometimes they seemed to be in agony.

Shine could totally understand the appeal of the fantasy of being begged for, but at the same time he couldn’t shake that he was seeing a real person, really being made to suffer just for money.

He realized that even though he had thought he had watched all of them, he actually probably hadn’t watched Trouble’s heat masturbation videos.

Nick’s heat masturbation videos.

Should he?

The mouse clicked.

Trouble said something but the audio was edited out.

“Dumb slut,” said a voice, amused, “you can’t use my real name.”

Trouble already looked on the verge of tears. “What do you mean? What’s happening?”

“I’m filming this.”

“You’re—” Trouble whimpered, and Shine’s stomach twisted. “You’re filming—you can’t film—”

“Shut up,” said the alpha, and from the way Trouble’s mouth instantly snapped shut and his whole body froze, the alpha must have used alpha command. “You’re gonna touch yourself and beg me to knot you.”

Shine closed the tab as fast as he could. He felt like he was going to be sick.

The time stamp of the video upload, and the age that Nick’s second child was—this was the heat that resulted in conception. This alpha was the sire of Nick’s second child.

How could he treat Nick like that? Alpha command, in that context… fuck. Nick didn’t want to be filmed. It didn’t matter if Nick consented to be filmed a thousand other times, or even if earlier that day Nick consented to be filmed—right that moment, _Nick said he didn’t want to be filmed._ And an alpha commanded him to shut up and masturbate for the camera.

Legally it may not have been rape. He didn’t know if Nick felt like he had been raped. But it was one of the worst things Shine had ever seen.

He didn’t want to see more. He knew he couldn’t handle watching that particular video anymore. Yet he felt like he had to keep going. He had opened a window onto something he needed to understand.

Shine reopened Trouble’s channel and went to the legendary marking video. It had hundreds of millions of views.

It was part of the same set of videos as the earlier one, but it looked like a different day, later the same heat. The sheets had been changed, at least. The sick feeling only deepened as he saw how distended Nick’s stomach was; he had clearly been knotted several times. It ought to have been something wonderful, but all he could think now was how that fucking scumbag of an alpha should never have been able to touch Nick, much less fuck and knot him.

Nick looked blissed out as an alpha fucked him from behind, eyes closed. His upper body was lying limply as if exhausted, arms crossed on a pillow as he moaned and keened. The alpha had a firm grip on his hips as he fucked into him, not saying anything.

Then it happened.

The alpha put a hand forward onto Nick’s belly and rubbed it. “Fuck,” he laughed, never stopping the forward and back of his hips, “I really did fuck a child into you, huh? Guess I’d better do this—”

Then he leaned down and bit Nick. Nick’s eyes snapped open, he made a strangled noise that changed into a moan, then a scream. The alpha’s hips had stopped—he must be knotting Nick again.

Shine knew he’d watched this video before. It hadn’t been a favourite, but he didn’t remember it being like this.

How could he have missed what was really happening?

Despite wanting to puke, he rewound and watched it again, making it full screen to double check what he’d seen was real.

The alpha’s face, his voice, his movements—he made a spur of the moment decision to mark Nick. He never asked. _He never asked._

And for that brief moment when Nick’s eyes shot open—that was unmistakable, though his voice had gotten lost in the sensations.

Nick had tried to say _don’t._

The most popular Trouble Xiao video was a force bonding.

But he can’t be the only person to notice this?

Feeling like he was crazy— _wanting_ to be crazy, rather than that Nick had something so horrible not only happen to him but be put up on the internet for millions to jerk off to—he closed out of full screen and scrolled to the comments.

He wasn’t the only person to notice at all. Lots of people were debating it in the comments. The most upvoted comments, however, were all along the lines of: _This is Trouble’s channel, he put the videos up. It’s faked to be more titillating. It’s faked to cause controversy and get more views. If it was really that, Trouble wouldn’t still be with the guy. Trouble’s still with the guy. Trouble had more children with the guy, it can’t be what it looks like._

And then there were the comments that made Shine want to punch something.

_The people who are angry are in the wrong place, this is AlphaHub, lol. Deep down every alpha wants to treat omegas that way right, lol. Yeah, and omegas actually want to be treated that way, that’s why this alpha has got an omega and you don’t, lol. Those cucks who are complaining are just jealous because that alpha has got an omega and they’re single losers masturbating on the internet, lol._

Shine closed his laptop. He was done. He couldn’t take any more that night. The initial horniness that had made him think of AlphaHub in the first place was certainly dead.

How could he bring this up to Nick?

But how could he _not_ bring this up to Nick? No way could Shine just sit next to Nick at a movie on Friday like they’d planned.

How was Nick doing? It was Tuesday night—two days after Shine had knotted Nick.

Shine’s gut twisted yet again. _“A lot of alphas would have just knotted without asking,”_ Nick had said so flippantly.

Shine grabbed his phone, then doubted himself.

Shouldn’t he wait for Nick to text? Nick said he would text, whether he was going into heat or not. He might just be busy. Hell, he had four sons and worked full time! Of course he was busy!

But he’d said “a day or two” and it was now definitely over forty-eight hours.

_Tomorrow. If I don’t hear from him, I’ll text him tomorrow._

———

Nick leaned his forehead against the cold metal of the bathroom stall divider and tried to stave off a break down.

_I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this._

He’d been called into his sons’ school for a meeting about Logan’s academics and behaviour. Logan had always struggled with reading, but worse, lately he had given up trying. And now he had been caught cheating. Again.

Nick didn’t know what to do. He had just sat there numbly as the teacher explained the consequences. How Logan was going to be suspended for one day. How further infractions could result in longer suspensions and ultimately expulsion. That there would be no tuition refund in the case of expulsion.

Nick knew very well that the only reason he’d been able to get his kids into the school at all was because he’d gotten relatives to pull strings. He couldn’t let this go to waste. He _couldn’t._

And in the meantime who could he ask to watch Logan during school tomorrow? Not his in-laws—they’d be working. And it was so last minute. He was going to have to text everyone he could think of in order to get a response in time. That meant everyone he knew was about to know about Logan’s suspension. To confirm what they all must already suspect: that Nick was a terrible parent and his kids would be failures in life, just like him.

Nick raked his nails down his face. And didn’t that just prove it! Here he was, fretting about being embarrassed, instead of trying to figure out how to help Logan! He _was_ a terrible parent!

One thing at a time.

Breathe.

Breathe.

He opened his phone, opened a contact that was the best possibility—his mother—and composed a message. “Logan received a one day suspension from school. I need someone to watch him while I’m at work. Can you do it or do you know someone who can?”

Another breath.

He selected the text and copied it so he wouldn’t have to type it over and over. Then he hit send.

Okay. Who next?

_Fourth Auntie doesn’t work, right? She lives in Loveland but maybe…_

Nick began to scroll through his contacts looking for Jacob’s mother. He wasn’t sure if he had her down by her name, or her title as his aunt, or—

His thumb abruptly paused as he saw the name _Shine Huo._

_Oh shit! I never told Shine I wasn’t going into heat!_

He had meant to do it after work that day but he had gotten the call from Logan’s school and then—

Breathe.

Shine could wait. Shine would _have_ to wait. He had to keep texting people about Logan. Then he had to stop hiding in the school’s bathroom, take the kids home, make them dinner, make them do their homework—quadruple checking Logan’s—and then talk to Logan on how he was grounded and losing his 3DS, and how he was fucking up his future and making his dad’s hair fall out.

He went back to scrolling.

He couldn’t find his aunt’s name—maybe he didn’t have her number. But he did have Minor’s. Apparently Minor had put himself in when he added Shine’s number.

Minor would have his future mother in law’s number, right?

He quickly opened Minor’s contact and typed.

 **Nick:** Hi Minor, this is Nick. Do you have Jacob’s mother’s cell phone number? I need to find childcare for Logan for tomorrow, it’s an emergency.

His phone buzzed after he hit send.

 **Mama:** Oh my! I’m so sorry Nicky but I can’t. Why is poor Logan being suspended? What’s he done?

Nick ground his teeth. Okay. That would have to wait as well.

Who else?

His other aunts and uncles either worked or were too far away or both.

His siblings worked except his younger sister Jane, but she was in Loveland and had a baby. Nick wouldn’t even be able to drive Logan out to her, either, because he’d still have to take the other kids to school and then go to work. There’d be no time.

Maybe, his mother-in-law could take the kids in the morning and get them to school while he drove Logan—

His phone buzzed.

 **Unknown Number:** Hey Nicky, this is Jacob. Weird that I didn’t have your number, but anyway. I don’t work, so if you need someone to take Logan tomorrow, I can do it. What time do you need him picked up?

“Oh thank God,” Nick muttered.

 **Nick:** Jacob! Thank you. You’re a lifesaver. Unfortunately I need him picked up really early. He’s been suspended from school and I work during the school day. I need him gotten no later than 8. Is that still okay?

There was a long pause.

_Please please please please please please—_

**Jacob:** Damn Nicky you’re lucky I like you. Okay, Minor will make sure I’m awake in time to come get him. Give me your address. By the way what the fuck is there to do in Jade Mountain.

Nick let out a huge breath of relief. He texted Jacob the address.

 **Nick:** Not much. But Logan’s supposed to be in trouble for cheating. So I don’t really want him to have a good time. He’ll have his homework if you just want to stick him at a table in a library while you play with your phone. But I’ll leave that to you. You’re doing me such a big favour by watching him. I owe you big time.  
 **Jacob:** Don’t worry about it, it’ll be good practice for me.

Right. Jacob and Minor must want to start a family together soon…

Okay. That was Logan sorted. Now onto the rest of his evening. He put the phone away, opened the door, left the bathroom, and found his kids where they were lined up against the wall in the hall by the bathroom.

“I got someone to watch you,” he told Logan sternly, “but this is not a vacation. You are in such huge trouble. _I_ am in such huge trouble. I don’t even want to think about what I would do if your suspension was longer. If I had to call out from work at this short notice I would probably lose my job.”

Logan said softly, “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Are you really sorry? Are you just sorry you got caught? Because this is the second time you’ve done this! Or, correction, this is the second time you got _caught_ cheating! Maybe you’ve cheated more than that.” Nick let out a huge breath of frustration. “Come on, all of you, we have to get home now and have dinner. I expect _everyone_ to do their homework immediately after dinner, understand?”

Four nods.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

———

When he finally hit the bed that night, Nick just wanted to go to sleep.

But he couldn’t leave Shine hanging any longer. Anyway, it was good news, right?

God, what if he _had_ been going into heat on top of all this. He’d be so many levels of fucked.

 **Nick:** Hey, sorry this is so late. I had a terrible day. But the good news is that I’m not going into heat. We should still be on for Friday.  
 **Shine:** Glad to hear we’re still on for Friday. Want to talk about your bad day?  
 **Nick:** My kid had some trouble with school. It’s nothing you can help with.  
 **Shine:** Okay. We could talk about something else if you just want to get your mind off of it? Or I could leave you alone.

Nick thought for a moment.

 **Nick:** I don’t suppose you play Knives Out?

Shine did play the mobile phone battle royale game, although he cautioned that he wasn’t that good. Still, it was nice to play teamed up with an actual friend. They didn’t win, but they didn’t die right away either.

 **Nick:** That was really fun, thanks. I better get to bed now though.   
**Shine:** We should play together again. Hey, I was wondering, instead of going to a movie theatre, do you want to just come hang out at my place? I’ll get food and we can still watch a movie, I just thought it would be more relaxed.

Nick felt a pang, and it took him a minute to figure out why.

Shine must have thought it over and realized he didn’t want to be seen in public with him. That since all Nick was good for was fucking, better to just get straight to the sex.

But sex buddies had been all Nick wanted, right?

Dating. As if someone like him could date.

 **Nick:** You’re right, way more relaxed. I’ll be there at the same time we agreed.  
 **Shine:** Great! Sleep well.  
 **Nick:** You too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> local writer literally cannot be fucking stopped, news at eleven

True to his word, the buzzer rang at 7:40 and it was Jacob, hands in the pockets of a patched military coat and a smile on his face.

“What?! Logan gets to stay home with cousin  _ Jacob?!”  _ Jackson said resentfully.

“I wanna stay home too,” piped up Lucas.

“This is not a treat!” barked Nick. “The rest of you get your shoes and coats on  _ now _ and I mean  _ now.  _ Logan! You listen to cousin Jacob. No TV, no computer, no games, no LEGO, no  _ nothing _ except studying. If you go out anywhere take your school stuff.” Turning back to Jacob and hustling to get his own coat and shoes on, he handed Jacob an envelope. “That has a spare key—the buzzer code—emergency information—and money.”

“I don’t need to be paid,” laughed Jacob, though he had taken the envelope. Of course, that had been Nick’s plan by putting the important stuff in with it.

“I insist! And you can use it for food too. Or eat whatever you want from our kitchen! I have to go.  _ Be good Logan. _ Come on, time for school.”

Nick was in a really bad mood by the time he got to work after his other children had been pouting all the way there, clearly wishing that they could have gotten to stay home with their cool punk cousin as well.

(“If any of you even  _ think  _ of misbehaving so that you get suspended too, you’ll be grounded  _ for the rest of your life,”  _ Nick had hissed before sending them out of the car, making them all startle, because Nick usually said goodbye with a sunny Love you! Bye-bye!)

At lunch, he checked his phone at his locker while grabbing the cup noodle he had packed himself, he saw he had two messages.

**Jacob:** Just wanted to let you know that things are cool here. I ordered some KFC and I’m helping Logan with his English work.

Oh, that was an unexpected bonus. Nick’s English—never phenomenal—had atrophied after quitting university. It was the subject where he most struggled to help the kids. If Jacob could help Logan with that…

The other message brought a smile to his face.

**Shine:** I have some great news. I’m going to be doing some telecommuting for a little while. That means no commute, plus if you have a day off during the week maybe you can come over and eat lunch with me?

Nick got a little turned on just thinking of going over to Shine’s house during the day. But…

**Nick:** I usually work Monday to Friday from 8 to 3 and Saturday from 7:30 to 4. But that’s great about the commute! Maybe we can meet on a weekday late afternoon?

He grabbed his cup noodle, locked his phone back up, and went to get hot water.

———

Shine bribed his parents with tickets to a show to be out of the house, claiming it was a bonus from work, rather than saying that he didn’t want them in the house while he had his (hopefully soon-to-be official) boyfriend over.

Nick showed up at his house looking, if anything, even more worn out than he had when they had their first date at the coffee shop. Shine immediately put the breaks on his plan to discuss Nick’s past.

“I had a stressful week,” Nick said, frank as usual. “I may not be very good company.”

Shine took Nick’s hands and went in for a kiss. Nick’s face registered surprise, but he leaned in too and kissed Shine without hesitation.

“You couldn’t be bad company to me,” said Shine when they broke the kiss. “We don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to talk. We can just put in a movie, order delivery, and relax. Just tell me when you need to be woken up in case I purr you to sleep.”

“I should probably leave around nine,” said Nick, following Shine to his living room where the tv was.

“I’d be happy to drive you home—especially if that means you can stay a little later,” said Shine. 

“I actually drove,” said Nick.

“You—” said Shine before stopping himself short, worried that either of his intended disbelieving questions—you drive? You own a car?—might cause Nick offence.

If Nick felt offended he didn’t show it. “Yeah, I have a five passenger sedan,” he said. “It was my alpha’s before he passed away.”

Hearing Nick say  _ my alpha  _ now, knowing what he knew, made Shine tense up, and Nick noticed, but he drew the wrong conclusion.

“Sorry,” Nick said, “I won’t bring up other alphas anymore—I should have realized.”

“It’s not jealousy,” said Shine, and only then realized that he was starting the very conversation he’d just told himself tonight wasn’t the right time for.

“Then what’s wrong?” Nick said uneasily, and Shine realized that he was stuck.

Nick was clearly sensitive to alphas getting possessive—of course he was, with his history that must be a survival instinct. Things had to be clear.

“After I found out you were Trouble Xiao, I got… well, curious… I know I’d already watched your videos but…”

“...but it’s different when you’re thinking of the porn star as a person, right,” said Nick, fingers idly picking at a cushion, and then, with a laugh that sounded a little forced, he said, “Or were you looking for ideas for things to try with me?”

“This is going to be a sensitive topic, and maybe you’re not ready to talk about it with me, since we’ve known each other such a short time, but… I don’t usually watch heat masturbation videos so I had never watched yours, and what I saw at the beginning of the one I watched… and then when I saw you being marked...”

Nick put a hand to his face. “Yeah, I know the controversy. Are you asking whether it was faked or not?” he said tonelessly.

“Was that alpha forcing you to film your heat? Did he force bond you?”

Nick began to talk as if it was a speech he had given many times. “I was already in porn by then and I had said I would do it, I signed a contract, I just got cold feet at that moment because omegas feel very vulnerable in heat and that was my first shared heat. The alpha command just made it easier. It made a lot of things about doing porn easier. I didn’t have to think.”

Nick didn’t say anything more, and Shine gave it a while before he said quietly, “You’re not answering my second question.”

“Up until then Jason had always said he would never mark me, he brought it up to me, and I never expected otherwise. I knew I wasn’t the only omega he was filming with, I wasn’t even the only omega he filmed heat scenes with. We weren’t really… up until that point it was… I thought it was just professional… and he didn’t mean to, he was very angry after. Not really at me, I mean, he knew it was just the pheromones and stuff. He said he’d never fucked a male omega in heat and it was the contrast of my heat bulge, making me really  _ look _ pregnant, whereas women are curvier so their heat bulges aren’t quite as distinctive. It kicked off his instinct that I was carrying his child and he needed to mark me. In his right mind, Jason wanted to bond with someone who was, well, not a porn star, minimum…” Nick laughed without humour. “Somebody pure and unspoiled… I knew he didn’t want to mark me so I was really surprised when he did it and I panicked a little. But I’m the one who benefitted really, because I didn’t want an abortion anyway... the plan had been that I would take abortion medicine, that was in the contract. But after bonding with me Jason let me keep the baby, he even married me.”

“As his bondmate you already had almost all the legal protections of marriage anyway,” Shine pointed out. 

“But it meant a lot to my family. I mean they still weren’t exactly happy because I kept doing porn but at least I was married to someone.” Nick smiled at Shine. “It’s sweet of you to be worried, but really, I could have had it much worse. A lot of omegas in the industry get stuck on dry heat masturbation work, because it pays better, but it’s awful. Really, Jason marking me was lucky for me.”

Nick said all of this like he really believed Shine’s concern was all misguided, but what had Nick actually just confirmed?

The alpha—this Jason asshole—had alpha commanded Nick when Nick tried to withdraw consent. Nick just had this idea that his signing a contract meant he wasn’t allowed to withdraw consent—probably courtesy of Jason. And the implication of what Nick had gone on to say about alpha command making things easier, that he didn’t have to think, was that it wasn’t the only time that Jason used alpha command to railroad Nick through things he otherwise didn’t want to do.

And then the bonding. Nick had got it in his head—again, probably because Jason had told him so!—that Jason’s force bonding wasn’t Jason’s fault and that Nick ought to be thankful for it. And again, the mention of a contract, that Nick had been contracted to an abortion he didn’t want so he should be grateful that Jason “allowed” Nick not to have an abortion.

As if Nick’s body wasn’t his own from the moment he started doing porn. That he had to accept whatever Jason wanted him to do, that Nick deserved it, had signed up for it and couldn’t change his mind, no matter how bad it got.

Shine had been silent for a while, thinking about this, and Nick spoke into the silence awkwardly. “I know a former porn star is a lot to accept… if you want me to leave so you can think about it…”

“No,” Shine said quickly, “I don’t want you to leave. That’s not what I was thinking, not even close. Nick, the things you’re saying… you keep saying you signed contracts. Contracts can’t require you to do the stuff you’re saying—not legally and not morally either. You can’t lose the ability to say no to sex by a contract, you can’t be forced into an abortion you don’t want by a contract. The things you’re saying that you ought to feel lucky about…” As Nick’s face twisted, Shine quickly added, “I know that Jason probably had you all messed up with how he was talking to you and that you probably didn’t have other people to turn to about it back then, but I’m telling you now, what he did to you… it was… wrong.”

Even though Shine had wanted to finish that sentence as  _ it was rape,  _ he checked himself just in time. He didn’t want to railroad Nick in his feelings, the way Jason clearly had told Nick what to feel and how to think. At the same time he couldn’t let Jason’s versions of events stand unchallenged.

Nick took off his glasses with a trembling hand and put them carelessly on the coffee table in front of them, then put his hand to the bridge of his nose. “I know you mean well, but can we please not talk about this right now?”

“Sorry, I meant to not bring it up when I saw how stressed you were, but it just came out. Why don’t we order—”

Shine stopped speaking because Nick had suddenly closed the distance between them, practically crawling into his lap.

“Can you purr for me,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper, “Can you please just purr for me.”

Shine purred, wrapping his arms around Nick and telling his erection to cool it as Nick let out a relieved moan and wiggled against him. Just like a cat settling in.

Only Nick didn’t settle. He kept rubbing against Shine’s crotch.

“Nick,” purred Shine, deep down not wanting him to stop.

“You’re getting excited,” Nick murmured back in quite a different voice than the desperate plea for comfort he’d made a moment before. “You want to fuck me, don’t you?”

His purr stuttered like his voice. “I-it’s okay, I, I can wait… oh, Nick…”

Nick wasn’t waiting, he was undoing Shine’s belt. “Isn’t this why I came over, alpha?” Nick said coyly. There was already a wetspot from precum on the front of his briefs by the time Nick got Shine’s fly open. “I want to do it too, you can do it to me. I’ll ride you right here, alpha. Help me out?”

Shine took the invitation, lifting his ass to drop his pants and undewear past his knees, fumbling with Nick’s own belt and pants to get them off, inhaling the scent of omega slick and swallowing as Nick straddled him.

Shine gasped, half because the feel of Nick’s tight wet heat enveloping him was like heaven and half because the blissful sound that Nick made as the omega clutched onto his shoulders was insanely erotic. Nick rocked his hips up and down, fucking himself on Shine’s cock rhythmically.

“Nick, God, you’re so gorgeous, you’re perfect,” Shine encouraged. He couldn’t help himself from grabbing onto Nick’s hips and keeping up their rhythm as Nick seemed to be faltering a little. “You smell so good, you’re amazing.”

Nick opened his eyes, he was panting. “A-alpha,” he keened.

“Call my name, please call my name.”

Nick leaned into him, buried his face in the crook of Shine’s neck, and Shine released pheromones. “Shine,” Nick moaned into his throat, “keep talking Shine.”

Nick’s movements were smaller but faster, he was clinging onto Shine almost desperately.

“You feel so good around me—”

“Shine…”

“You grip onto me like nothing I’ve ever felt, it’s so good—”

“Shine, Shine…”

“Wanna hear… those sounds you make and my name, when you say my name it drives me crazy, Nick!” Shine was grabbing onto Nick now, so that all Nick could do was grind against him, squeeze his pussy around him. “Wanna just stay inside you forever!”

“Shine!” mewled Nick. “Touch me, please, my—Shine!”

As soon as Shine reached between them to stroke Nick’s dick the omega was coming, and Shine couldn’t stop himself from coming too. It was all he could do to stop himself from knotting Nick.

When Shine got his bearings back, Nick was saying something muffled into his shoulder.

“What?”

“I got your shirt dirty,” Nick repeated, a little more clearly. He was resting his head on Shine’s shoulder, and hadn’t lifted himself off of Shine yet.

“Worth it,” chuckled Shine, kissing the side of Nick’s head. “You hungry now?”

“Starving,” Nick confessed. He shifted off of Shine. “Your bathroom…?”

Then Nick’s expression changed, and Shine saw that he was looking at how some of his semen had gotten on his own shirt as well.

“I’ll lend you a t-shirt,” Shine said. “It’ll be a little big, but that’s okay… actually I’d love to see you in my shirt.”

Nick smiled.

They got cleaned up and changed. As Shine dug in his drawers, he found a China Waste Processing 2019 Expo t-shirt that was a size M—too small for Shine. “You can keep this one,” Shine said, “it’s too small for me anyway.”

Nick laughed at he looked at the logo of a flower growing out of a trash can. “It suits me.”

Then they went through the dance of trying to decide what to order, which was really a game of who could get the other one to give up and choose first. Nick won, meaning that Shine ordered a pizza, but he did get Nick to choose a snack from the pantry to eat while they waited for the pizza to arrive. Nick chose a bag of melon seeds.

“Want something to drink?” said Shine. “I have Coke, Heineken, JDB…”

“JDB sounds good.”

Shine was further able to get Nick to pick the film, on the grounds that Shine liked everything he had on Bluray so he’d be fine with any choice. Nick put his fingers on  _ Farewell My Concubine,  _ then pulled his hand back.

“We can watch that one,” said Shine.

“Isn’t it too depressing for a date?” Nick moved his hand and pulled out a Beyoncé’s  _ Homecoming _ live recording. “Let’s watch this one.”

Shine was a big fan of Beyoncé, and fortunately Nick seemed to find his commentary and recitation of facts about the singer charming rather than annoying. The pizza arrived during “Formation,” and by “Baby Boy,” the couple were spending way more time making out than paying attention to the music.

Much less to an unexpected arrival.

When the front door opened, Nick sprang apart from Shine. “Who’s that?”

“Wait here,” Shine said, his heart beating a mile a minute because he could only think of one possibility.

He was right.

“That show was too loud,” his mother complained loudly.

“Way too loud,” agreed his father, then paused, about to hang up his coat and finding another coat already there.

_ Do I say I have a friend over or do I admit he’s not just a friend?! _

“You have a friend over?” said his father.

_ If this is going to be long haul, like I want, then lying now will make it ten times worse for them to accept him later. _ “I… I told you I was dating an omega. He’s here.”

His parents looked back and forth between the clearly masculine coat and shoes and Shine. Then they looked at each other. Nobody was saying a word.

His mother broke out of the freeze and put her house slippers on. “Well, then like I’ve told you before, if you ever want to have a date over, Shine, you just have to say so. You’re a grown man, aren’t you? Your father and I can stay in our room to give you privacy. Introduce us and then we’ll let you alone, right, husband?”

“A man?” said his father.

“An  _ omega _ man,” said his mother, putting a hand on his father’s shoulders, “that’s fine, isn’t it?”

As Shine led his parents to the living room, he hoped his father’s face wouldn’t stay that disgusted.

“Baba, Mama, this is…” Shine suddenly realized he didn’t know Nick’s Chinese name. Nothing for it. “Nick. Nick, this is my father Roger Huo Kaijie and my mother Lily Yang Lili.” To clue Nick in on what was happening, he added, “They didn’t know I had a date over.”

Nick rose up from the bow. “Oh, right… well, I probably need to be going anyway…”

“No, stay, stay, I want to know about you,” said Shine’s mother, smiling and coming over to the couch. “You know, Shine  _ never _ had a date over before, never! He’s so  _ shy,  _ I really despaired about him. You met him through work, I see!”

Nick’s look at Shine was an entreaty for help that Shine had no idea how to provide.

“Well I’m going to bed because that loud music gave me a headache,” his father grumbled, and left.

“So you’re in this science stuff too,” said his mother. “Did he meet you at that conference? So long ago and he didn’t say a word to me! Now Shine told us before that you’re a widower with children! It was a little bit of a surprise but Shine does always like to dote on things. You should see him with his cats.”

Nick relaxed just a little. “Ah, well, but… I’m sorry, I didn’t meet him through work, I met him through a friend. I just work at a call centre, nothing important like what Shine does.”

“Ah, well, but that’s not important! It just means you’ll have no regrets about quitting your job when you marry, right? I worry about Shine, he needs a spouse who stays at home, to take care of things. Don’t worry about my husband! He was just a little surprised. I’ll make him accept you, it’ll be easy, you’re very handsome. Important thing is to get our Shine married! Okay! I’ll let you finish your date now.” She waved and left them.

“Don’t worry,” said Nick, his fake smile falling off his face once she was gone. “I won’t take what she said about marriage seriously.”

Shine took a deep breath. “But you should. Because… at least for me… this is still dating with the intention of finding a spouse.”

Nick stared for a long time without moving, until Shine said tentatively, “...Nick?”

“Could you say that again?” said Nick. “I can’t have heard you right.”

“I know it’s a rush, because of our ages and my wanting kids, but I think we could work out. We don’t know each other well enough yet to marry, but that’s my goal. That’s my hope.”

“But you already know… from what you already know, you can’t…” Nick’s face was getting red. “Is it just… are you that desperate…?”

“...I’m a little desperate,” Shine had to admit, “but I like you, Nick. With everything I know, I still like you, and I haven’t given up on the idea that we might marry someday.”

Nick leaned back on the couch, closed his eyes, and put folded hands against his nose and mouth. He appeared to be thinking deeply, so Shine let him think, standing there very awkwardly while Beyoncé kept singing on the television.

“Okay,” Nick said. “Okay. I think… here’s what I think. I’ll introduce you to my family. Okay? And then you can see how things are.”

Shine couldn’t have asked for a better response. He was actually glad his parents came home early now. Nick was going to let him meet his kids! Nick knew that Shine was really serious! “Okay, sure, when?”

Nick smiled a little, perhaps from Shine’s enthusiasm. “I’ll have to text you with when, I don’t know yet. But I’ll make it as soon as possible. If you’re not commuting, like you said, that will make it easier.” He stood up. “I better go now, though, really. It feels like it would be awkward to stay. Thanks for dinner.”

Shine saw Nick out, then cracked another beer and forwarded the Bluray to “Single Ladies” with thoughts of putting a ring on it in his heart.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to fix the extra space formatting issue at a later time, I just wanted to get this up.
> 
> I am continuing the conceit from Queen’s Choice(s) where dreams are in present tense.

_Nick punches his buzzer code at the front of his building and it doesn’t work._

_He punches it in again, and then again, frantic this time._

_The door swings open, the apartment manager is there. “Don’t you know you’ve been evicted?”_

_“No—I haven’t—I paid my rent on time and—”_

_“We don’t allow illegal activity here.”_

_“I’m not doing anything illegal!”_

_The manager shoves a handful of papers at him. It’s pictures from his Trouble Xiao videos._

_“You’re a prostitute,” the manager says with disgust. “Leave.”_

_“That’s not—I don’t even do that anymore! You can’t evict me like this!”_

_“You’ve been evicted,” the manager repeats, and suddenly Nick is looking at a closed door._

_“You can’t lock me out like this!” Nick shouts, yanking at the door, pounding on it with his fists. “This is my—”_

A shrill voice awoke Nick from his nightmare. “Daddy! Daddy!”

Nick groggily reoriented himself and sat up. Before he could get up to check, Jonah opened the door and hovered there uncertainly.

“What is it, sweetheart?” said Nick. “Come here.”

Jonah came over and hugged his dad gratefully. “It was a werewolf,” he said. “My teacher turned into a werewolf.”

When he was a toddler, a stray dog had bitten Jonah, and ever since then he was extremely afraid of dogs. When he had nightmares, it usually involved dogs or dog-like beasts.

“That sounds really scary,” said Nick, “but it wasn’t real. Nightmares are just the fears in our mind. Daddy was having a nightmare too, but Daddy’s okay, so you’ll be okay too.”

“Was yours about a werewolf?”

Nick kissed the top of Jonah’s head. “Mine was that we lost our home.”

“Oh. That is pretty scary, Dad.”

“Yeah, it is. But we’re not going to lose our home—and your teacher is not a werewolf. He’s not hairy enough.”

Jonah giggled a little, and with another kiss on his head, padded back off to his bed.

Nick laid back down and sighed.

An eviction nightmare… it had been a while since he had one of those...

Such a weird nightmare to have now. What with him facing introducing Shine to his family that coming day, surely his nightmares should be about that instead? Fuck, he was so messed up that even his inner fears couldn’t keep track of which one was supposed to be terrorizing him right now.

He decided to get up, stretch, and rearrange his nest. He had put Shine’s t-shirt around a cushion to be part of his nest, but he kept it buried, out of a fear that the kids might see it and get curious about it. Now he took the cushion and put it right under his head as he got back in the bed.

The scent had faded a lot but it was still there.

After tonight it would probably all be over… wouldn’t it?

Nick remembered how Shine spoke to him, the words he used. Gorgeous, amazing, perfect.

Shine needed a reality check about how normal people viewed someone like Nick, if they knew the truth about him.

If Shine could still want to be with him after that…

Nick clutched onto the cushion. 

———

Shine pulled out his phone to check for messages when he had parked the car. There weren’t any new ones.

He opened up the camera app and checked his appearance. Nothing wrong with his hair or his clothes. Nothing stuck in his teeth.

He sighed a little bit. When he’d previously driven Nick home, it hadn’t been anywhere close to this address. Had Nick really been that nervous? It made sense, but still, he hated the idea that Nick had crossed the city when he was already so tired, just to keep Shine from knowing his real address.

Well, the important thing was that Nick trusted him enough already to let him meet his kids. 

Then he looked more closely at his destination, according to the GPS.

 **Shine:** I just parked the car, I’ll buzz the apartment number when I get there.  
 **Nick:** no need, I’ll meet you at the door. 

Sure enough, when Shine got to the door, Nick was there to push it open for him.

“So I wasn’t sure who was going to be here,” Nick said in a rush without even a hello or a kiss, already walking towards the elevators, “so I better warn you now that I didn’t expect my older brother to be here. He might… listen, if he picks on me, don’t jump to my defense, okay? I can handle it.”

“What do you mean by pick on you?” Shine said as he hustled after Nick.

“My brother… it’s more than I can summarize right now, but he doesn’t like me around. So when I am he tries to make me uncomfortable.” Nick jabbed at the elevator call button and then began rocking slightly on his heels.

“Wait… if he doesn’t like you around then why is he here?”

“Good fucking question,” Nick muttered, then said in a resigned voice, “Maybe he came because he didn’t come to my mother’s sixtieth birthday party. I don’t know.” An elevator opened and they stepped in.

“Well, I’ll be trying to show the best side of myself,” said Shine, “but I’m not sure that my best side would include just letting someone insult you in front of me without saying anything to defend you.”

“I suppose.” Nick’s voice was still subdued. “You’re here to meet them, anyway.”

Shine felt like he was missing something, but before he could come up with the words to ask what, the elevator stopped and opened.

———

Nick had been so unsettled by walking into his parents condo and seeing Henry that it had slipped out of his mind that the point was to show Shine the way that ordinary people who knew his past treated him.

Surely nobody could do that more effectively than Henry.

Despite the four year gap in their ages, Nick had once considered Henry not just his big brother but his closest friend. Their mother had a few miscarriages between their births, and perhaps that contributed to how cherished he had been from the very start. One of the pictures on the wall that he saw when he opened the door into the apartment was a picture of little Henry beaming while holding baby Nick.

Henry had lived at home all through university and he was the strongest proponent for Nick doing that too, even more than his mother. It had been their father who approved Nick not only going to university in Loveland, but living in the dorms too.

_It isn’t that far away, and Nicky’s always been very good, he won’t get into trouble…_

“So this one actually came?” he heard Henry say as he closed the door behind Shine. Nick fought off the wince. That was doubtless a reference to how Jason never came to any of Nick’s family’s events, ever.

“Henry, you wanted to come,” Henry’s wife Sheila warned in an undervoice that nevertheless carried. Nick had known Sheila for a long time, too, since when she was Henry’s high school crush, despite being a beta. It wasn't that she was any more approving than Henry of Nick's notorious actions, but she hated confrontations and unpleasantnesses of all kinds. That made her functionally an ally to Nick.

“I’m just so glad he’s here,” said Henry in a time that was just on the edge of sarcastic as he stepped forward. “Nicky, hurry and introduce us.”

“Everyone, this is Shine Huo Jiejun…” Shine smiled awkwardly and half-bowed, raising out of it because Henry was holding out a hand to shake. “Shine, this is my older brother Henry Jiang Yi, and his wife Sheila Ruan Ting; my younger brother Tony Jiang Kang, and his wife Alice Qian Xinyi; and my younger sister Sarah Jiang Shan.”

“And Shine is your… boyfriend? Or...?” said Henry.

“I’m his boyfriend,” Shine spoke up, stiffening a bit.

“Wow, Nicky’s never introduced us to a boyfriend before. You must be very special.” Henry’s word choice was positive but his cold smile was not.

“Yes, I’m very lucky,” said Shine.

“Shall we go in?” cut in Nick, slipping off his loafers. “Let me take your coat, Shine.”

Aside from those who had crowded to the hall, Nick also introduced to Shine his parents. His father was seventeen years older than his mother; he was not in very good physical health but his mind was sharp as ever. He remained seated as Shine was introduced to him, and kept his greeting terse.

If it had been up to his father, when the family found out Nick was pregnant out of wedlock, couldn’t be sure who the sire was, and had been physically attacked by one of the possible sire candidates, he would have been disowned back then. His mother however was not about to stand for that. Nicky was her baby no matter how old he was or what he did. But while his mother kept him from being entirely cut off, he was definitely out of his father’s favour forever—and that was before the porn thing…

Sometimes he wondered if he had been closer to his parents, if he hadn’t been so scared of asking them for money, would he have still gotten into porn? And everything that came after?

Nick could admit to himself that he still might have. Camming and selling his underwear was so exciting at first and the money was great…

He was pulled out of his own thoughts by Henry putting a beer into his hands.

“Oh, not tonight,” Nick said, trying to give it back. Sheila was off talking to Sarah, so there would be no help from there.

“C’mon, why not,” said Henry, not taking it.

“I’m driving.”

“It’s just one beer and you won’t be leaving for hours.”

“Alcohol affects me more, you know that.”

“Henry, leave Nicky alone,” said their mother, in a _you boys get along_ way. “He’s trying to be responsible.”

Henry snorted but didn’t say anything, which was somehow worse than if he’d made one of his acid innuendos. He just glanced at Nick and said it all with his eyes, letting Nick’s own mind fill in all the possibilities.

_He’s trying to be responsible now?_

_Nicky doesn’t need alcohol to be foolish._

_Nicky doesn’t usually resist temptation, does he?_

And so on and so on. Nicky flushed and fought to keep his chin down, but couldn’t help looking away. At least he had the excuse of looking at Shine.

Shine looked… confused, more than anything else. He was looking around at Nick’s relatives as if he didn’t know where they had come from, or as if he was expecting someone else.

“Would you like a beer, Mr. Huo?” his mother said, taking the can out of Henry’s hands.

“Ah, yes, thank you.” Shine accepted the beer Nick had rejected.

“Here, let’s all sit down and get more comfortable, shall we?”

There was definitely no way for Nick to be comfortable, but he sat down anyway. Shine sat next to him on one side, and his mother next to Shine. Nick tried to keep calm as Henry sat down on his other side, cracking open his own beer.

Henry was releasing more pheromones than usual. Generally his alpha brothers kept their pheromones down around their father, so as not to challenge his authority, so it must have been directed at Shine, but it was making Nick feel wretched. His big brother’s smell used to be one of his favourite scents, comforting and safe and associated with so many good times. And now…

“So what do you do, Mr. Huo?” his mother asked while Shine was having a drink.

Before Shine could swallow and reply, Henry said, “His name is Shine Huo, sounds ‘professional’…?”

Shine looked more confused than ever. He must not have caught on that Henry was implying that Shine was in the sex industry. “Uh, I’m a chemical engineer. And you can call me Shine, Mrs. Jiang.”

“A chemical engineer! Well isn’t that interesting!” said his mother, with evident relief. What the hell, even his mother? Did nobody in his family believe that he had really quit the industry?

_As if I’d spend 50 hours a week in a shitty bad paying job that I hate if I was making sex worker money!_

“My father is a chemical engineer,” Alice said, and that naturally opened up a conversation between them, where the rest of them learned that Shine had actually interned at Alice’s father’s company during university.

“Isn’t that a coincidence?” said his mother, delighted that things were going so well. “I’ll just go and get some refills for the snacks.”

“How’d you meet Nicky?” Alice asked.

“A friend thought Nick might like me, so he gave Nick my number,” said Shine, and Henry made a small huff. 

“I’d say there’d be no doubt that Nicky would like you,” said Henry. Again, by words it seemed to be a compliment to Shine, but Nick knew it was actually an insult to Nick’s promiscuity.

“How long have you known each other?” Alice continued.

“A little less than a month,” said Shine.

His mother came back in with containers of nuts and biscuits to refill the tray. “Only a month! Well, Nicky must like you very much to bring you to meet us so soon then.”

“Maybe he has some good news to share?” Henry suggested, leaning forward to grab a biscuit.

The room stilled, and Nick could feel everyone staring at him. Well, shit. How had it not occurred to him that if he brought Shine to meet them like this, that they’d all assume that Nick had gotten knocked up again. He could feel his blush getting even deeper. “No, nothing has happened… I just thought he should… meet my family.”

“Because of my age, I’m looking to get married sooner rather than later,” said Shine, and the already stilled room somehow got even more stunned. “I’ve already introduced Nick to my parents, too. We’re not engaged yet, but it’s something I’m looking for.”

Everyone was now staring at Shine, including Nick, and Shine was drinking his beer, a little nervous, but nonetheless determined in his expression.

“Do you own a home?” said Nick’s father, making everyone’s heads turn to his place in the corner.

“Yes, I own a house here in Jade Mountain.”

“How much do you make?” his father continued, eyes serious.

“About four hundred thousand yuan a year.”

“Have you been married before? Children?”

“No, I’ve never been married and I don’t have any children.”

Nick’s father made a grunt, but it sounded almost pleased. “Well, that’s good enough. I’m off to the bathroom.”

He used his cane to get up and shuffle off. Leaving another awkward pause for Henry (of course) to jump into.

“You’re brave to take on Nicky’s four kids,” he said.

“Nicky’s kids are wonderful!” Nick’s mother said defensively.

Henry sipped his beer. “How’s Logan doing, Nicky?”

Nick glanced at his mother—she was looking guilty. Great. So even though Nick hadn’t had to text everyone, his mother had told everyone anyway. “He’s trying his best.”

“Poor Nicky, it must be hard for you to get him the help he needs with school when you’re so busy,” said his mother.

Henry began talking about his daughter Amy, who went to a private school for the arts in nearby Osmanthus City. Amy was their only child, and she had aspirations of becoming a concert violinist; she had stayed at home this evening because she was practicing. According to Henry, her academics were also excellent. Then he prompted Tony and Alice to talk about their young children, who were home with a nanny. Nick stayed quiet.

It wasn’t that Nick didn’t have anything about his children that he was proud of, but he didn’t dare to bring them up and have to deal with Henry making remarks about Nicky’s parenting. That was not something Nick could stand. He was only glad that Henry had apparently dropped the subject of Logan’s suspension.

Nick looked at Shine. The alpha was sitting back with a serious look on his face, occasionally drinking from his beer or leaning forward to grab a nut from the snack tray, listening to Nick’s relatives.

What was Shine thinking about this? Was he getting the picture that even Nick’s closest family looked down on him?

———

Shine set the empty beer can down on the coffee table. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“It’s through that door,” Nick said.

“My father’s using that one still,” said Henry, standing up. “I’ll show you where the other one is.”

There was no choice but to stand up too and follow him, especially because Shine really did need to pee.

“This is it,” said Henry, opening the door and flicking on the light.

“Thank you,” Shine said politely, and waited for Henry to move out of the doorway so he could go in.

Henry didn’t move. “If you’re after money,” he said, his face hard, “my father won’t even give it to the children he likes, and he keeps my mother on a strict allowance.”

Shine was staggered. “Money?!”

If Shine had known that “I want you to meet my family” that Nick had meant his _parents,_ not his children, he might have expected to be treated with suspicion by them, as a potential predator on a man who had been a victim more than once; for them to be protective of Nick, or to think Shine wasn’t rich enough to provide for a family. He might have even understood being accused of only being interested in Nick for his uterus and pheromones.

Being accused of being after _money_ was so bizarre that he didn’t know how to react at all. Henry might as well have accused him of being after Nick’s tech support skills, as much sense as it made to Shine.

After Shine had gaped at him for a bit, Henry let his shoulders droop, and his face smoothed out.

“Listen,” Henry said quietly, “I’ll admit the question was hostile to you. When my mother called me and told me that Nicky wanted us to meet a guy, I got suspicious because I thought Nicky was trying to get my mother feeling sorry for him before hitting her up for money, but I’ve been watching him since before you got here and that isn’t it. You seem like you’re just a normal guy, though, so I know something’s not right. So first I had to get it out of the way, whether you were the hustler here. But if you really are just a normal guy…”

Shine had recovered enough from the shock to be getting angry. “Just let me into the bathroom.”

Henry _still_ didn’t move. “Hey, if you’re a normal guy, then you should really listen up. Nicky’s not what you’re thinking, okay? He’s my little brother, but I don’t want him fooling anyone. I guess he sold you some story about how he’s this poor widower with four boys by himself. His kids don’t even have the same sire. Ever since he went to university he’s done nothing with his life but sleep around and lie about it. And that’s not the worst of it. You’ve heard of Trouble Xiao? Trouble Xiao is Nicky. I don’t know if he got rid of the tattoo, but if you look at the face—”

“I already knew that,” Shine said, interrupting because Henry seemed like he might go on forever. “Nick told me about his past very early.”

Henry was startled a moment, then he sneered. “Then I know _you_ must be up to something. Whatever you’re thinking you’re going to get out of this, you’re not going to get anything. Blackmail won’t work either.”

“All I want ‘out of this’ is a bond and a family,” said Shine, “whether you believe me or not.”

“Fine. Just know that if you try anything against the rest of the family, I’ll stop you.”

Shine was good and mad now, aggravated by the fact that he _really_ had to piss by now. “I don’t care about being threatened against doing things I wasn’t going to do anyway. Right now you’re stopping me from pissing, so unless you want me to use you as a urinal, get the fuck out of my face.”

Henry let out an angry laugh, but he moved out of the way, and Shine was finally able to relieve himself.

———

“I told the kids I’d be home no later than eight since tomorrow’s a school day so I really need to go.”

A lie. Nick hadn’t told the kids any such thing, especially because he wanted to leave himself space to stop and buy ice cream or sit on a park bench having a breakdown if necessary. The truth was that after suffering through dinner Nick couldn’t take it anymore. By this point, if Shine was going to get scared off, he’d already be scared.

Now to find out.

Shine got up too, and they went through the formal cringes of goodbyes with Nick’s family before heading to the elevator together.

“Can you give me a ride home?” Nick said once the elevator door closed.

Shine blinked. “I thought you told your brother you drove.”

“That was a lie, I just didn’t want to drink around him.”

Shine nodded. “Sure, I’d be happy to.”

They didn’t speak any more until they got into the car.

“I’m sorry about how I dressed,” Shine said when they got into the car. “I misunderstood what you meant. I would have dressed more formally if I had known I was meeting your parents.”

“Oh! I’m sure it was fine. You look nice.”

Nick had been so addled from Henry’s presence that it hadn’t even occurred to him that Shine was just wearing a nice polo shirt and jeans. Still, in terms of his _parents,_ Nick couldn’t be sure that Shine wearing a suit would have made any difference, because his parents were both far more enthusiastic about Shine than he had expected, especially his father. By his father’s standards, _that’s good enough_ was higher praise than Nicky had gotten since he was eighteen.

His mother, too, had not been anxious and over-protective, like Nick had expected, she had even played interceptor between Henry and Shine, between whom an evident mutual hostility had erupted since Shine’s trip to the bathroom. Which reminded Nick…

“Did my older brother say something to you when he took you to the bathroom?”

Shine finished paying the parking garage fee and the car crept out into the night. “A bunch of junk. First he was wondering if I was after your father’s money, somehow. When the accusation shocked me, he said that maybe I really was a normal guy and tried to tell me everything I already knew about your past. When I said I knew it, then he went back to thinking I’m after your father’s money again. I didn’t even know your father had money. Does he?”

“I guess he does,” said Nick, “but he isn’t the kind who’d spend it on adult kids. He’s got an old-fashioned view, you know, it’s the job of the youth to support the aged, not the other way around.”

There was silence for a minute or two of driving, and then Shine said, “I’ve been trying to figure it out, but I guess I should just ask, why did you want me to meet them now?”

Nick looked out the window. “...to make you realize how people think of me. It could always come out, you know, to your family, your friends, your coworkers… between the make-up I wore as Trouble and my wearing glasses now, I don’t usually get recognized when I’m out and around, but it does happen sometimes.”

“To scare me off?”

Nick kept looking out the window. “I told myself it was to scare you off, but then I couldn’t stop hoping that it wouldn’t.”

A warm hand took hold of Nick’s left one for just a brief moment, before going back to shift gears.

“It hasn’t,” Shine said, eyes on the road. “I feel like I have a lot of questions, but it hasn’t changed how I feel about you. What I think about us, and what we could have.”

Nick’s left hand felt like it was itching, tingling. He wanted to reach out and take Shine’s hand back again, which was dumb; he was driving!

So he did something else that was probably dumb, when Shine pulled the car to the curb where he’d let him off before, about a block away from Nick’s building.

“Hey,” he said. “Do you… wanna come upstairs and… meet my kids…?”


	6. Chapter 6

Because Shine had been taken off guard and confused, he hadn’t had time to stress out planning about meeting Nick’s parents. Making a good impression on Nick’s kids, however, had been a constant worry, and he had spent a lot of time Googling stuff like “meeting partner’s children for the first time” and “how to talk to children.”

The problem was he didn’t have any first hand experience with children since _he_ was a child. He was an only child, his father was an only child, and his mother had a brother but he had never had children. So there were no nieces, nephews, or cousins. And his profession of chemical engineering didn’t exactly put him in contact with kids either.

He still really liked kids—at least, he thought they were very cute and he loved cute kid videos just as much as he liked cute animal videos. But just like taking care of cats was not the same as enjoying a 10 second clip of a cat being cute, just thinking kids were cute was not going to help Shine connect with them.

It was from his Googling that Shine had gotten the idea to wear a polo and jeans—an outfit that was not formal but not messy, and a little more youthful than wearing a sweater. He didn’t want to come across as if he was trying to be a father figure to them right away.

As he walked behind Nick into his building, he realized that since Nick hadn’t planned to introduce Shine to his kids at all, that this would come as a complete surprise to the kids. He hoped the shock factor wouldn’t further prejudice the kids against him.

As Nick’s key turned in the lock, almost immediately Shine could hear excited little feet running.

“Dad’s home!” a young boy’s voice said happily as the door swung open, and Nick got hugged by a little boy of about five before he could even step inside.

“Daddy, daddy!”

“At least let me come inside first,” Nick laughed, but he was hugging the boy back. “I have somebody I want you to meet.”

The door opened directly onto the living room. There was a big rack for shoes and a number of hooks for coats along the wall closest to the door. Shine followed Nick in and began taking off his coat and shoes, conscious of the four sets of eyes that were staring at him.

All four boys had the same basic hair cut with short back and sides and hair long enough to comb on top that Nick sported, and Shine could imagine them all popping into the barber chair on the same day, one after another. They were already dressed in pajamas—cute matching sets on the younger boys, simple t-shirts and flannels on the older two.

“Boys, I want you to meet Shine Huo,” Nick said. “Mr. Huo is the man I’ve been having dates with lately.”

“What do you do on a date?” said the youngest boy, and the two oldest boys snickered.

“Lucas, I haven’t finished introducing you yet. You interrupted me.”

“Sorry.”

“This noisy child is Lucas,” Nick said, putting his hands on Lucas’s shoulders. The youngest boy beamed at Shine. He was a very charismatic kid—he looked like one who could be in commercials, with his energetic attitude and big expressive eyes.

“Hi Lucas,” said Shine.

“Pleased - to - meet - you, Mr. Huo!” said Lucas, in a stilted and self-impressed way, as if he had just learned the phrase and was eager to try it out. “I have a wiggly tooth!” he added.

“The rest of you too, come on,” said Nick, and the kids came up. “This is Jackson—” A tall boy for his age, who looked skeptical of all this but nevertheless semi-bowed in a basically respectful fashion. Compared to his brothers, Jackson had a much higher nose, with wire framed glasses perched on top which contributed to his serious and responsible appearance.

“Hello Jackson.”

“Jonah—” Jonah was hiding behind Jackson but pulled his hand up in a shy wave. Of the four, he looked the most like Nick, all elegant features and the same slight downward tilt of his eyes.

“Hello, Jonah.”

“—and Logan.” Logan grinned wide at Shine; he was missing both his upper canine teeth. He had Nick’s mouth and nose, but his eyes and brows were fierce.

“Hi, Logan.”

“Hey, Dad?” said Jackson, glancing back and forth between Shine and Nick. “Um, can I talk to you for a second in my room? Just us?”

“Right now?” Nick said.

“It’ll only take a second and it’s important,” Jackson said.

Nick looked at Shine, but before he could speak Shine said, “No, go right ahead.”

“Alright, well… you three can talk to Mr. Huo while I speak with Jackson,” Nick said.

“Do you wanna see my drawings?!” Lucas said loudly before Nick and Jackson had even left the room. “I got lots!”

“Sure,” said Shine.

Lucas grabbed onto Shine and tugged him to a table which was covered with various papers.

“Look, look, I drew all these,” Lucas said proudly, pointing at one seat’s work.

“All by yourself? Wow.” Shine wasn’t putting it on, either; though childish, the drawings of robots and cartoony monsters were very impressive for a five year old.

“I’m good at art,” Lucas said proudly, “and Jackson is good at math, and Jonah is good at handwriting. Logan isn’t good at anything.”

“You shut up,” growled Logan, sitting across from Lucas and picking up his pencil. At his place was some kind of English exercise book.

While Shine was looking at Lucas’s art, Jonah had vanished. He looked around the room but couldn’t see the kid anywhere.

“Which one is your favourite?” asked Lucas.

“Hmm,” said Shine, looking back down. “I like this robot, I think. I like the way he’s flying.”

“He’s my hero robot,” Lucas said. “See, that’s me inside the head. I’m the pilot and I use him to chase bad guys.”

“Cool,” said Shine.

“You want to take it?” Lucas said hopefully.

“I would love to,” said Shine. “Don’t let me forget it when I leave.”

“Okay! Let me add some more stuff to it then.” Lucas grabbed a coloured pencil and set to work. “You can draw too, if you want!”

“Thanks, but I don’t really know how to draw. I’ll just watch you, if that’s okay.”

“Sure!” Lucas drew big stars around the robot. “Is dating like being friends?”

Logan snickered again. Shine said, “It’s kind of like that.”

“So is Daddy your friend?”

“Yes, he’s my friend.”

“That’s good. Daddy doesn’t have friends before and I think that makes him sad.”

“You shouldn’t talk about Dad to strangers,” said Logan in a sharper voice.

“But he’s not a stranger, he’s Daddy’s friend!”

“You’re stupid.”

“Don’t call me stupid! You’re stupid! I’m gonna tell Daddy!”

“Then I’ll tell him you said I wasn’t good at anything, stupid.”

Lucas pouted and muttered, “I’m _not_ stupid,” as he changed colours and began drawing some clouds.

———

Nick shut the door to the room that Jackson shared with Logan and sat down in one of the two desk chairs, while Jackson sat on his bottom bunk.

Jackson took a deep breath and said in a rush, “Are you pregnant Dad?”

“What?! No!” said Nick. “Jackson!”

Jackson sighed, then reddened. “I’m sorry, Dad, I just got worried because, well, you _never_ bring guys around, so…!”

Nick sighed too. First his brother, now his son… “I’m not pregnant, alright? That’s not what this is about.”

“...what is it about?”

Jackson looked worried again, and Nick couldn’t blame him at being apprehensive about a potential stepfather. One of the few issues where Nick stood up to Jason was Jason’s favouring of his blood children over Jackson. Their first major fight ever, in fact, had been because Jackson, inspired by how Jason called himself Baba around baby Logan, had tried to call Jason Baba too, and Jason had told him to stop because he wasn’t Jackson’s father.

The result of that fight had been that Jason let Jackson call him Baba, but the issue was persistent. It wasn’t that Jason _tried_ to be cruel to Jackson—on the contrary, Nick was sure Jason genuinely liked Jackson, and he often encouraged Logan to look up to his older brother. But he just didn’t feel the same love for Jackson as he did for his blood children, and he couldn’t fake that he did.

A few weeks after Jason passed, while his brother Logan was still very upset and crying every day (Jonah had been too young to really get it, and Nick was still pregnant with Lucas), Jackson had said to Nick, “Daddy, is it okay that I don’t really miss Baba?”

Nick moved over from the chair to sit next to Jackson on the bed.

“I haven’t been dating Mr Huo for very long,” Nick said, “but I like him very much. He likes me a lot too. It isn’t at all certain yet, but we are thinking about maybe getting married one day.”

“Married?” Jackson’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“It’s just a possibility,” said Nick. “But I wanted you guys to meet each other as part of making that decision.”

“Will you still marry him if he doesn’t like us?”

“Definitely not,” Nick said swiftly. “If I get married it would have to be to someone who will love you guys one hundred percent.”

“One hundred percent? Dad,” said Jackson, with an adolescent whine to his voice, “he doesn’t have to be all _mushy_ like you are.”

Nick laughed and Jackson tried to pull away from getting kissed but was too late.

———

Nick and Jackson reappeared after too long, and Nick looked around. “Where’s Jonah?”

“Dunno,” said Lucas, busily working on signing his name on the picture he was giving to Shine.

“Probably hiding in the bathroom,” said Logan.

“Sorry,” Nick said to Shine. “He’s very shy.”

“That’s alright,” said Shine. “He wasn’t expecting a visitor, after all.”

“Maybe if we give him some time he might come back out on his own,” said Nick. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks, I’m fine.”

“Can I have a glass of soymilk please Daddy?” asked Lucas.

“Alright,” said Nick. “Logan, Jackson, do you want some soymilk?”

They both declined.

After Nick came back with the soymilk, he began checking the homework of the three older boys, with an apology to Shine for being dull.

“No problem at all,” said Shine. “I’d be happy to help if I can.”

“Maybe you can check Jackson’s math then.”

Jonah never reappeared, and after finishing with Logan and Jackson’s homework, Nick went to check on him.

He came back with a sigh. “He fell asleep already. He hasn’t brushed his teeth or anything… I hope he went to the bathroom first…” Nick looked at the clock. “It’s about time for the rest of you to get in bed too. Say goodnight to Mr. Huo.”

“Goodnight Mr Huo!” said Lucas cheerfully. “Don’t forget my picture!”

“I won’t. Goodnight Lucas.”

“Goodnight,” said Logan.

Jackson yawned, and Shine noticed that his alpha canines were just starting to grow in. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Shine said again.

While Nick got the kids to bed, Shine looked at some pictures on the wall. He couldn’t help but be drawn to a beautiful picture of Nick in the traditional attire for pregnant male omegas, _shiliu fu._ The ribbon tie over his bump made him look like a present just waiting to be unwrapped. His face looked serene and happy.

_I want to make him look like that._

There were a bunch of baby and toddler pictures, and for the most part Shine couldn’t be sure who was who, unless an older kid was in the same picture.

Then there were the pictures Shine didn’t really want to look at. The ones with Jason in them. Knowing what he knew made Shine want to tear the pictures off the wall.

There was Jason, standing behind Nick in a studio pre-wedding shoot and kissing the side of his neck, Nick in a white tuxedo with his eyes closed. Nick and Jason holding hands and smiling at each other in a garden in more ordinary suits. Jason grinning cockily with his fangs showing in a red tang suit, and Nick in the omega _hanfu,_ standing with his back to the camera so that his bond mark was visible above the backslung collar.

A family portrait of Jason, Nick, a young Jackson looking about five or six, Logan looking about three or four, and a baby Jonah in Nick’s lap. All of them smiling as if they were an ordinary happy family.

There was only one more picture of Jason. He was holding a baby in a hospital room and he was crying happy tears.

That picture was the most difficult to look at of them all. Shine didn’t want to think of Jason as someone who loved his child like that, when he didn’t deserve at all to have sired one on Nick.

“That’s a nice picture, isn’t it?”

Shine turned; he hadn’t realized Nick had come back in.

“Jason really did love our sons,” said Nick quietly, coming up next to Shine. “I know you don’t like him, but you never met him. He had good qualities too. If… if he comes up around the kids, please don’t talk him down. He was their sire.”

Not badmouthing exes had been in the advice on the internet about meeting a partner’s children too. Shine couldn’t be happy about it, but he knew Nick was right, and he nodded.

“Um…” suddenly Nick looked almost as shy as Jonah had. “Do you want to go home now, or… I work tomorrow, but it’s not that late, if you want to maybe… talk in my room, or something?”

“Well, I’m curious to see your room,” Shine admitted.

Nick opened the door for him and let Shine go in first, meaning that Nick couldn’t stop Shine from seeing the cushion with Shine’s shirt on it in pride of place in Nick’s nest.

“Oh my God,” Nick said, rushing over to the bed, “I completely forgot that I never put my nest away this morning. Usually I do but…”

“No, you don’t have to take it apart,” Shine said, then hurriedly added, “I mean, you can if you want to, it’s your nest and everything, but, well, I’ve never seen an omega’s nest before in real life.”

Nick was still red, but he didn’t do anything to the nest. “Well, you can take a look if you want.”

Shine thought the little fortress of pillows, cushions, and blankets looked super cozy and absolutely adorable, but he wasn’t sure how Nick would feel about the second opinion so he just said, “It looks really comfortable. I didn’t know omegas nested outside of pregnancy… but that looks so cozy that now I’m wondering why doesn’t everyone nest.”

Nick cracked a smile. “Maybe it’s weird… after Jackson was born I just never stopped… Do you want to get in?”

Shine gingerly slipped off his house shoes and got in. By reputation, nesting omegas were extremely protective of it, so to be invited in felt really special. The nest was full of Nick’s scent, but there were notes of distress in it. Was Nick not sleeping well?

Nick didn’t join him. He was looking at the door, then staring into space, then back at the door, then at his feet, then he turned back to the door and quickly locked it.

“They don’t always knock,” Nick said, coming back to the bed and getting in.

It was very close quarters for two people. Nick’s bedroom was tiny, barely big enough for his double size bed, with no other furniture but a little night table. Shine had sat cross-legged, and with a little hesitation, Nick moved into his lap.

“Is this okay?”

“So much better than okay,” Shine breathed, and closed his eyes to kiss Nick. He put his hands around Nick’s back and suddenly realized anew what he had noticed idly before: Nick wasn’t wearing a bite guard.

“Wait,” he said, breaking the kiss, “your bite guard—do you want to put it on?”

Nick put a hand up to his neck self-consciously. “Ah… well, you won’t yet… right?”

 _Oh God._ He’d never been so close to an omega’s glands as this. Shine could feel his pheromone production kicking up despite his efforts to hold it back. The instinct to bite Nick and make him his own was so strong. It was even worse because his conscious mind wanted it too, wanted it so badly, even though he knew that it was too soon, that they weren’t ready. “Can I kiss you there?”

Nick swallowed, and Shine’s intent eyes watched his adam’s apple bob. “Yeah…”

Shine made a devil’s bargain with himself, telling himself he’d let himself kiss, lick, and suck on Nick’s neck in exchange for not marking him. He immediately accepted this trade, putting his mouth to one of Nick’s glands, pressing hot kisses into it and savoring both the taste and Nick’s soft moan.

“I’ll turn… wait, ah… turn the light…” whispered Nick.

“No, I want to see you,” Shine said, fumbling with Nick’s shirt buttons whilg continuing to kiss all along Nick’s neck.

“We’ll have to be quiet.”

“Sure,” Shine whispered. “Anything.”

When they had both gotten totally undressed, their clothes draped carelessly here and there in Nick’s nest, Nick pushed Shine down into a semi-recline against one wall of pillows and straddled him, taking his cock inside himself and putting a knuckle to his mouth to bite back his moans.

Shine was so glad they hadn’t turned out the light. Nick hadn’t taken off his glasses and Shine couldn’t take his eyes off the omega’s flushed face, the lewd choked sounds and whimpers.

He wanted to praise Nick but he couldn’t trust his voice to come out quietly, so he had to hope his face and his hands on Nick’s hips as the omega rose and sank on his cock expressed Shine’s adoration.

Nick pulled the hand away from his face and began to stroke his cock as he continued riding Shine. Almost as soon as he touched himself, he began coming up onto Shine’s stomach; Shine could feel the hot liquid pooling into his belly button as Nick opened his mouth wide yet made no sound, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“You’re so sexy,” Shine couldn’t help blurting, keeping it down as much as he could but still coming out louder than a whisper. “You’re so good, Nick, you’re perfect for me.”

Nick opened his eyes and looked down. “Shine…” he whimpered. “I want… it’s a bad idea, but I want…”

_Knot. Knot. Give him your knot—_

“Soon,” Shine promised. “Not now, but soon. Soon I’ll give it to you every day.”

Another choked moan. “You will?”

 _I will, I will Nick, I’ll knot you, mark you, put you in heat and put my child in you—_ “I’m gonna cum!”

It wasn’t a whisper, but in the circumstances he was lucky it wasn’t a shout. Nick leaned forward onto his chest, his hips actually speeding up as Shine came inside him, making the cresting pleasure of his orgasm go so far it was almost painful. He was losing control—

“N-Nick!” Shine hissed, desperately grabbing at Nick’s hips to lift them up just in time to avoid catching Nick on his knot. From the heights of pleasure the orgasm crashed out and Shine grabbed at his knot with his hand as his cum pumped out, some into Nick and then more erupting into the air and then falling down onto his thighs and stomach as Nick pulled off completely, kneeling at the side.

“Oh, here, let me help.” Nick’s two hands replaced Shine’s, wrapping reverently around the knot. “Is this pressure good? More?”

It wasn’t nearly as good as knotting Nick’s hole had been, but the way Nick was looking at his dick was a new experience, one Shine was glad he was having. “That feels good,” he whispered.

“Sorry,” Nick whispered back, “I didn’t think about how speeding up might make you lose control… or maybe my body wanted you to lose control.” He half-smiled.

Oh, how that half-smile made Shine’s heart melt. Everything about Nick did that to him. Being with Nick was more wonderful than he had ever let himself imagine his life. “Nick… it’s probably too soon, but… I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”

The adam’s apple bobbed again. Nick was still looking at his hands around Shine’s knot. “How soon is too soon when we’re thirty-three.”

It wasn’t a rejection, which was honestly more than Shine had hoped for. “I turn thirty-four next month,” Shine admitted.

“And you want to marry me? Knowing all you know?” Nick whispered.

Shine had to tell the truth. He whispered, “I want to marry you.”

Nick looked up at his face. “I like you,” he whispered. “I like you a lot. I don’t know about love. I’ve never been in love before.”

It was not his proudest moment, but Shine felt a surge of triumph and victory over the deceased Jason. “That’s alright. I take it you’re not saying you don’t think you ever will be?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know about love, romantic love, I mean. When I was really young I had crushes, but…” He looked down at Shine’s dick again. “When I left home, when I was eighteen, I just wanted to have sex, and that’s what I did. Some of the guys I fucked said they loved me, but if they did I’d avoid them. And then I got pregnant but I didn’t even realize it until I was five months. I was in denial, I hadn’t been in heat and I was getting the shot regularly. Jackson’s father was one of the ones who said he loved me, that I avoided because of that. When he heard I was pregnant, he thought I had been in heat and gone to someone else. That’s why he tried to kill me…”

Shine didn’t know what to say. Nick’s hands were still gently but firmly wrapped around his knot.

“People said I was so messed up, fucking guys without love. I was stupid and naive; I said it wasn’t fair to judge me, that betas and alphas fuck around without love all the time. I didn’t want to admit that the rules were different for omegas, that I couldn’t make society change the rules, and that if I broke their rules I’d have to pay the consequences. I made so many dumb choices…” Nick looked up at Shine’s face again. “I’m scared to be in love. They say love makes you stupid. I’m already too stupid.”

Shine couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, Nick…”

Nick smiled back, but he still said, “Shhh.”

“Well, you’re right,” Shine whispered, beating back his laughter with difficulty. “I was really promiscuous in university too, and I didn’t have to face any consequences for it, except once getting a curable STD. But the truth is that I got lucky. I’m really a coward, I didn’t want to face the consequences for being outed as gay, and nobody ever outed me in situations where it could have damaged my prospects. I got lucky again that my company is quite progressive and had other people who were out of the closet; I would never have had the guts to be out at work if they hadn’t done it first. And I’m still not out to my family. So I did ‘dumb’ things, I just got lucky. In another world, maybe you would have gotten lucky and I wouldn’t have, and then people would be condemning me and you’d be fine. That’s the way I see it.”

“So you don’t think omegas need to wait for their one and only alpha?”

“Not if they don’t want to.”

“You don’t think that because I’ve been promiscuous before, that I’ll cheat on you?”

“Did you cheat on Jason?”

“Uh…” Nick flushed. “Depends on… I mean… you haven’t seen the videos where…?”

 _Oh._ Shine had entirely forgotten that Trouble Xiao had some threesome and cucking videos. “But that was with Jason’s consent, right?”

“It was Jason’s idea,” Nick muttered.

“So that’s not cheating then. It’s not something I want in our relationship. Is it okay with you if we’re exclusive?”

“You’re a very strange alpha,” Nick whispered. “But I guess I’m a strange omega. Yes, it’s okay with me if we’re exclusive.”

“So can I call you my boyfriend now?”

Shine loved Nick’s half-smile, but his full smile was without doubt the cutest in the world. “Yeah, you can.”


	7. Chapter 7

check it out Lyonface drew my OCs!  


Nick woke up the morning after Shine came to his home feeling so rested he almost didn’t bother to have coffee.

He dashed down to the street level and bought fresh hot soy milk and crullers for everyone’s breakfast while the kids were getting dressed, and when he came back up he was happy to see them all sitting in their uniforms at the table.

“You look happy Daddy,” Lucas said between bites of his cruller.

Logan and Jackson exchanged knowing glances, then went back to eating breakfast as if they had been real subtle. 

“Is that man going to come again?” asked Jonah.

“We will see him again,” said Nick, sipping his coffee. “Do you think you could try to talk to him next time?”

“No,” Jonah said honestly, and even Nick had to laugh along with his other children.

“If you got married, you could quit your job, right?” said Logan.

“Does that mean we’d get to play together more?!” Lucas cut in, excited.

Jonah coughed on his soy milk. “Married?”

“Not right away,” Nick assured him, “not even for sure that it will happen at all. It’s just a possibility.”

“Well I think you should marry him,” Logan said, “because your job sucks and you’re sad all the time.”

“That’s Dad’s decision,” Jackson said, frowning at his younger brother. “You’re acting like marriage is some minor thing.”

“If you got married we’d come too right?” said Jonah.

“Of course you’d come too,” Nick said. “Where do you think you would go?”

“Ellie lives with her grandma because her mommy went away to get married in Canada,” Jonah said, “and Max said it’s because alphas don’t want other alpha’s kids around.”

“Max is wrong,” Nick said firmly, even though he himself had thought the same up until now. “Anyway I would never give my boys up for anybody. No way.”

Jonah smiled a little, and Lucas grabbed onto Nick from the side and sang out, “I love you Daddy! You’re the best daddy in the world!”

Nick chuckled and tousled Lucas’s hair. “No I’m not.”

“You try hard, Dad,” said Jackson. “I think you’re a really good dad too.”

“Well I’m just so lucky to have four great boys,” said Nick, “even when you drive me crazy. Now hurry up and finish your breakfast.”

———

“After ten wrong password attempts, the system automatically locks for one hour to prevent brute force attacks,” Nick said to the caller on the line. “You can—”

“But I really need access! You’ve got to make it let me through to it right away!”

Nick rubbed his temple. “Because the password is set locally—”

“Stop making excuses and fix it!”

_I hate this job. I hate this shitty, stupid, bullshit job._

Nick pulled open his locker to get his daily instant noodle bowl to take to the hot water machine and as usual checked his phone.

 **Shine:** I know you’re at work but I can’t stop thinking about you. I feel so honoured that you let me meet your kids and let me in your nest. When can I see you again? Can we do something this weekend? Maybe we can do something fun with the kids to help them get to know me better.

 **Nick:** Well on Sunday the kids’ swim club has a meet in the morning. It goes from nine to noon. Maybe we could do something after?

 **Shine:** Hey! Great to hear from you. You having your lunch now?

 **Shine:** Can anybody come to the swim meet to watch? Maybe I can sit with you and keep you company. After I’ll treat you all for lunch. What do your kids like to eat?

 **Nick:** Yes I’m just about to make my noodles. Sure you can come sit with me to watch. If you really want them to like you, they love dim sum, but be warned especially after swimming they will eat a lot!

 **Shine:** Okay I’m putting it in my calendar now. I’ll let you go so you can eat without rushing. Text me later today?

 **Nick:** Actually what is your work schedule today? Could you take a break sometime between 3 and 5? The kids walk to cram school together on Thursdays and I pick them up at 5. I could come over?

 **Shine:** Definitely come over! I’ll make time for you. Can’t wait.

His good mood was restored. The rest of his workday not even the shittiest callers could break it.

_Gonna get some, gonna get some, gonna get some._

———

Just as Nick parked the car, his phone rang. He picked it up despite not recognizing the number, worried it was someone from the cram school. “Hello?”

“It’s me, Henry.”

Nick breathed in sharply. “What do you want?”

“Oh, that’s nice. I guess it has to be all business with you, huh?”

On the phone, without Henry’s authoritative presence and scent, it was easier to be bold. “Well, it’s not like you would call me just to talk now.”

“I didn’t get a chance to speak to you alone last night,” said Henry. “I want you to know that I will be keeping a close eye on you and your lover. I won’t let you keep taking advantage of Mama or do anything new to shame our family.”

“Take advantage? I’ve never taken advantage of Mama.”

“Don’t bullshit. There’s no way you could afford your apartment, your car, and your kids’ school with your job, and this lover is too new for it to have been him.”

“You think Mama gives me money?!” Nick had to laugh. “Oh come on, Gege [Big Brother]. Haven’t you ever heard of residuals?”

“Residuals?”

“People keep watching Trouble Xiao,” said Nick bluntly, “and I still get a cut. Most months I get more from it than I do from my job. It’s just not enough to make ends meet. I’ve never asked Mama for money. Sometimes I get her to watch the kids, but I’m not going to let you call that taking advantage.”

“Oh yes. How could anyone forget? My little brother, the porn star.”

“Do you have anything important to say, or are you just calling to threaten and insult me?”

“Why did you bring that man to meet our parents?”

“Because I wanted to show him how respectable people who know about my past treat me,” Nick snapped. “Wasn’t expecting you to be there, but I guess I should thank you, because nobody could make it clearer than you that I’m loathsome and disgusting. Now I’m sure that Shine knows what he’s signing up for if he chooses to love me anyway.”

“You’re shameless.”

The phone clicked off, and Nick sighed, yet he didn’t feel as horrible as he might have expected.

_Shine is choosing to love me anyway._

_Henry can fuck off._

———

Shine had found it very difficult to concentrate on his work, especially once it was three and he took off his white noise headphones so that he wouldn’t miss Nick at the door.

Now he was back in his home office chair, but not trying to concentrate on anything except the sight and the feeling of Nick kneeling down in front of him sucking his cock.

This was definitely not what he expected when Nick asked to see where he worked at home.

“Nick,” he moaned out, “God, Nick, it’s too good, stop.”

Nick pulled off and rested his head on Shine’s inner thigh, looking up at him cheekily. “If it’s too good, why not enjoy it?”

“I want to make you feel good too.”

Nick kissed the side of Shine’s cock head and chuckled at how it twitched. “This does make me feel good. Don’t you feel good giving me head?”

“Please,” he said almost breathlessly, and Nick’s eyes widened. “Please let me make love to you in my bed.”

“Make love to me…” Nick blushed, and Shine was hit with another wave of Nick’s scent. The omega wasn’t wearing a bite guard again, and Shine was half thrilled with the trust he was being shown, and half scared that he might lose control. 

A dark voice in his head had already whispered to him once that Nick was vulnerable, easy to manipulate; that he needed Shine to be a strong alpha and make his decisions for him, that if he bit Nick during sex that Nick would submit to him, just like he did with Jason.

It was despicable, that he even had these thoughts. He never would have expected it of himself. _Nick trusts me…_

_You would take care of him, he’d be happier sooner._

_No. I will never force Nick. It’s wrong and it would kill his love for me. Just like he never really loved Jason._

Nick got up, a little unsteadily. 

In the bedroom, Shine kept kissing, licking, and sucking on Nick’s neck as he thrust into him.

“Didn’t you eat lunch?” Nick joked, caressing Shine’s back.

“I can’t help it,” Shine murmured into his throat. “You smell and taste so good, I can’t get enough.”

“J-just be careful,” Nick groaned, and Shine felt a stab of guilt. He lifted himself up on his arms.

“Sorry,” he said, stilling his hips. “I don’t want to scare you.”

“Scare me… no, I mean I don’t want hickeys,” Nick said. “I mean I could wear a turtleneck at work but my kids would notice at home.”

Shine reddened. “Oh, right… I didn’t think about that.”

Nick half-smiled. “How about we change positions and you fuck me from behind? Then I’ll be out of the range of temptation.”

They changed positions, but there was nothing un-tempting about it. Shine kept looking at the bite scar on the back of Nick’s neck.

It was unusual for bite marks to scar omegas—they were made to heal fast without a mark. But some people liked them to scar. To make them scar, you had to reopen them over and over every time they started to heal, and bite them without injecting pheromones, so that the body didn’t recognize it as a mate’s bite.

It must have been horribly painful… and the thought of Jason sinking his teeth into Nick’s nape over and over…

_Cover it up. Cover it with my bite, my mark. My omega, not his. Mine._

“You’re quiet today,” Nick panted.

“Ah, sorry.”

“It’s, uhh, okay, I ah, I guess I got used to hearing you praise me.”

Shine had to grin at that. “You’re getting bolder with me…” He sped his hips up. “I really like that.”

“You don’t, mm, have to, ah, speak, when your cock is, ngh, fucking me so good.”

“I was just looking at you,” Shine said. “You’re so sexy, whichever angle I look at you I can’t believe I’m getting to fuck you.” He forced his eyes away from Nick’s neck, and got rewarded by having them focus instead on the wet base of his cock reappearing and disappearing into Nick’s hole. What a sight.

“You’re gonna make me cum just from my pussy—my hole,” Nick self-corrected.

“Call it whatever you want,” Shine grunted. “Just let me fill it up for you.”

“Oh shit! I really am going to—Shine! Shine I’m—”

Shine threw his head back and nicked his tongue on his canines to keep control, a little sharp drop of pain in a wave of pleasure.

Nick slid forward off his cock when Shine had stopped thrusting and rolled to the side. He put his hand on the towel they had thrown down to catch Nick’s cum. “Um… where’s your laundry basket? If it’s on the way to the bathroom I can take it.”

“There’s a basket in the corner there,” Shine said, still a little out of breath, sitting back on his heels.

“Okay… there’s no one home right?”

Shine’s bedroom didn’t have an attached bathroom. Nick had to go out into the hall to get to it.

“Yeah, definitely not.”

Nick came back but to Shine’s dismay instead of taking up Shine’s non-verbal invitation to rejoin him in the bed, he started getting dressed.

“You can’t stay?” Shine hoped his voice didn’t sound whiny.

“Um…” Nick looked at the clock. “Well, traffic to the school is… I like to get there a little early if I can, because otherwise the kids might get into trouble with their friends, it’s hard for Jackson to keep Lucas and Logan both in line, and even Jackson sometimes gets distracted with his friends.”

_Of course. His kids have to come first. Nick is such a good daddy._

“Can I see you again before Sunday?” Shine reached for his underwear. He might as well get dressed too.

Nick smiled. “I haven’t even left and you already miss me?”

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“You’ve got work to do too, right?” Nick came over to the bed and offered Shine a kiss, but pulled back laughing when Shine tried to tug him into the bed. “Shine!”

Shine let go. “But tell me you’ll see me before Sunday.”

“Fine. Let’s have a date Friday night then,” Nick said, “but we can’t stay out _too_ late, okay? I have to work on Saturday.” He smirked. “You’re really cute today.”

After Nick left, Shine made himself a mug of tea and stared at his work without seeing it.

_Is it just instinct? These urges…_

_I’m not just a beast. I have control. I can have thoughts and urges without acting on them. It’s not acting on them that’s the important thing._

He sipped the tea and breathed.

_Nick needs to take this slow, he needs to make sure not only that I’m a good match for him, but that I’ll treat his kids well. I’ve got to be patient. I can be patient._

He took a longer drink of tea and sighed.

———

The evening sprinted past in a blink, just like most evenings did. Maybe a little more pleasant than usual.

At the cram school pick-up, where he waited with other parents, mostly mothers, one of the other mothers whom he was casually friendly with, often discussing literature while they waited, brought her copy of T. S. Eliot’s _Murder in the Cathedral,_ a bilingual edition with the original English and Chinese translation on opposing pages, to lend him.

Before he dropped out of university—what felt like thousands of years ago now—Nick had been pursuing an impractical degree in World Literature. Despite his own struggles with languages other than his native Chinese, he loved to read foreign literature. Back in high school he would spend hours and hours slowly making his way through an English or Japanese novel with dictionaries, grammatical guides and so on strewn all about him.

These days however being able to read anything for pleasure would be a real treat. He thanked Mrs. Ding sincerely for her loan and promised to have it back in two weeks.

“How was school?” he asked the kids once he got them into the car.

“Sucked,” said Logan.

“We sang the ABC song!” crowed Lucas. “A B C D E F G…”

“I got the only perfect score on a pop quiz today,” said Jonah, or rather repeated it because he didn’t say it loud enough to be heard the first time.

“That’s great Jonah! Daddy’s so proud of you.”

Jackson was busy playing Minecraft and didn’t respond to the question.

At home, Nick cooked dinner (tomato fried eggs with rice) while listening to the news as the kids worked on their homework. Of course he had an endless stream of kids coming in while he was cooking, usually under the pretense of asking for help, but in Jonah and Lucas’s cases more often hoping they could just cling to their father or “help” him cook. 

They ate. It was a family favourite dish so all the boys had seconds and the rice cooker was emptied out. He checked their homework, everybody did chores to clean up, and then sent the kids to bathe while grabbing a minute for himself, sitting in the living room and starting his loaned book.

 _We have suffered various oppression_ _  
_ _But mostly we are left to our devices_ _  
_ _And we are content if we are left alone…_ _  
_   
“Daddy, can you play with me?”

Nick didn’t look up from the page. “Not tonight sweetheart. I want to read my book.”

“Oh,” said Lucas, sounding so sad that Nick felt the all too familiar pang of parental guilt.

He looked up, but then his eyebrows creased. “Lucas, where are your clothes? You’re going to get sick. Get dressed right this second.”

“But it’s spring time,” pouted Lucas.

“You can’t wander around in just your underwear and a towel. Go get dressed!”

“But Daddy I’m not cold.”

“I said get dressed!” Nick barked.

Lucas finally ran off.

Then someone screamed from the bathroom and Nick sprinted to check. Fortunately it was just Jackson reacting to the hot water suddenly cutting out.

Still, all in all, a smoother evening than usual, he reflected once they were all in bed. There weren’t even any unfinished chores for him to do by himself.

Nick grabbed the book and went to his room to have a nice, relaxing read in his nest.

But as he got in his room, he was hit anew with Shine’s scent. Even though he’d dismantled his nest that morning, the room still smelled like him.

Nick changed into sleepwear and assembled his nest, reminding himself not to breathe too fast as he did so. He would have all night to enjoy this.

Finally he was all tucked up, his glasses on the nighttable, a sheet tucked tightly around his body, a duvet draped loosely over that, yet another blanket draped across some cushions so that it was tented over, not actually touching. He had the room light off and a reading clip light turned on from the headboard, a warm and cozy glow illuminating the pages.

It was almost perfect.

 _For good or ill, let the wheel turn_ _  
_ _The wheel has been still, these seven years, and no good  
_ _For ill or good, let the wheel turn  
_ _For who knows the end of good or evil?…_

It was hard to concentrate. Nick closed the book, closed his eyes.

He thought of Shine. What a perfect name for a man with such light in his eyes… Nick would never have thought that such a good person could look at him like that. Could speak words of such adoration and praise, and not just of his body.

Shine, so comforting, Shine’s embrace, Shine’s kiss and Shine’s scent. Shine’s cock inside him and Shine’s breath on his neck. Shine’s outrage on his behalf, Shine’s sincerity and Shine’s confession of love. Shine’s warm hand reaching out and taking his. Shine’s yearning and Shine’s words.

_When can I see you again? When can I see you again?_

_Me too, I want to see you again sooner; me too, I start to miss you before we’ve even parted._

_What is this… what_ is _this…_

Not since he was sixteen at the latest had Nick _pined_ like this. Wanted _someone_ rather than just a cock without much care about who it was attached to. He wiggled within the cocoon of his nest. It felt too tight and restricting. It didn’t feel tight enough, he needed to be held more firmly, he needed more weight on top of him. The book trembled in his grip and he put it on the nightstand.

Nick thought about their first date, about going to that love hotel where no sex happened, just Shine holding him and purring for him, and he felt like his heart was thumping so madly he might have a heart attack.

_Shine’s so good, he’s so good, he’s so fucking good, how can I not fall in love with him?_

_Oh God, I am. I’m in love with him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Murder in the Cathedral is a great play!


	8. Chapter 8

“Can I help, Daddy, can I help?” Jonah said hopefully, hovering around Nick as he sliced carrots.

“Not tonight,” said Nick, too focused on getting the food for the boys done in time so that he would be on time for his date with Shine. “You can help by working on your homework.”

“But it’s Friday.”

“I know, so if you get it all done tonight you won’t have to worry about it later. Now scoot.” He made as if he was going to swat Jonah on the butt with a spoon, making the boy run giggling from the kitchen.

Nick glanced at the clock, stirred the soup, and washed snow peas to add in with the frozen dumplings once the carrot had parcooked enough. There was a knock, and Nick turned around and saw Jackson standing in the doorway, pulling his hand away from the doorframe with an uncertain look on his face.

"Uh, hi Dad," the boy said. "Um, Mr. Duan wants to know if he can speak with you... he said it's okay if you don't want to."

Mr. Duan was Jackson's sire, Kevin Duan. About a year after Jason died, Jackson starting asking more questions about his own sire, and reluctantly Nick had decided that Jackson was old enough to know the truth—or at least an abbreviated version that gave the simplest facts. About a week after hearing the story, Jackson asked if he could see a picture of his sire.

Nick didn't have any pictures, but as he looked at his son, he got the sense that Jackson wanted more than just a picture; that Jackson was hurting, that he felt incomplete. He had never been fully accepted by his stepfather, and now he had found out that his sire had done something so horrible, and he was trying to make sense of where he had come from.

So Nick had written to Kevin in prison, the first time Nick had communicated with him in any way since testifying during the 'victim impact' portion of Kevin's sentencing hearing.

During the trial, Kevin's family had been quite strident that Kevin was a wonderful young man, smart and well brought up with a bright future, who had been ensnared and driven mad by Nick, a heartless incubus. Sentencing had been delayed until Nick gave birth, to see if the child would have any lasting injuries or even if Nick might have a stillbirth, which would increase Kevin's harm done and thus his sentence. Fortunately Jackson was a healthy baby boy, but though Nick hadn't asked for it, the court ordered a paternity test.

To Nick's dismay, the baby's sire was Kevin. Nick had avoided looking at Kevin the whole trial, except for the time when he was asked to identify his attacker and had to. Even more so, he hadn't wanted to look at Kevin when the parentage of Jackson was announced in court, but Kevin made the most awful strangled noise that Nick couldn't help but look up. All the colour was out of Kevin’s face, and he was gripping onto his lawyer and staring at nothing. Nick was able to look away without being noticed watching him.

The judge, in her sentencing, had made it clear that the fact that Kevin was the sire was an aggravating factor. She handed down a sentence of fifteen years. Kevin's father had started screaming at Nick that he “wouldn’t get away with this” and had to be forcibly removed from the courtroom.

Nick's memory of the rest of the day was a blurry nightmare. Nick had still been reeling himself at the identity of his child's sire and he was terrified anew at Kevin’s father’s threat. Was he going to try to hurt him, kill him? Or Kevin's family might try to take baby Jackson away from Nick, now that they knew Jackson was related to them.

They did try it, but Kevin's father's antics in the courtroom backfired against them big time; their case was dismissed with prejudice and they were ordered to pay Nick's attorney fees and to stay away from him. Nick had broken down crying with relief that it was now, finally, truly over; he would never have to think about any of them ever again.

But he hadn't reckoned that Jackson, then still a baby, would one day become curious about half of his DNA. Once it happened, enough time and space had passed that Nick was able to empathize with Jackson and how it must feel to know one's sire had done something so awful; to wonder if that meant that Jackson was half a "bad person."

For Jackson's sake, he would have crawled over hot coals. Writing to Kevin wasn't quite that bad, but it wasn't pleasant. Nick wrote very briefly that Jackson was interested in learning more about Kevin and wanted to know what Kevin thought about this.

Kevin wrote back quickly and at some length, and Nick was surprised that almost two full pages were apologies to Nick for what Kevin had done. Kevin went on to write that he worried every single day about Jackson, about whether he was healthy and happy, if his sire's attack on his bearer had caused any long term damage that hadn't been evident at birth. Kevin was eager to get to know Jackson in any way that Nick would allow. His current prison was low security and allowed several privileges, including phone calls and visits.

Since then, Jackson had been to see Kevin a few times, and they spoke on Jackson's cell phone about once a week. Jackson clearly looked forward to speaking to Kevin, but at the same time his respectful yet distant address of him as “Mr. Duan” always made Nick feel much better.

Nick held out his hand for Jackson's cell phone. “Go take the garbage out while I’m talking to Mr. Duan.”

“Okay, Dad.”

Nick put the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Oh, hi Nick... thanks for taking my call," Kevin said. "Uh, there's two things... I don't know if you've received the letter yet, but I have a parole hearing next week."

"I know," said Nick, staring at the soup. "I won't be attending, I have to work."

"Oh, right, well... uh, I'm assuming it didn’t say in the letter, but my lawyer seems to think it’s 99% that I’ll be approved. And… I just wanted to let you know that if it does go through… I’ll be going to Deepmere, where my parents live.”

Oh. An assurance that Kevin wouldn’t be living around Jade Mountain. Deepmere, on China’s southern coast, was a two hour flight from Loveland City. “Alright.”

“I… if it does go through... you don’t have to answer me yet, but I wanted to ask if Jackson could come to visit on a school holiday at some point,” Kevin said.

Nick lost track of time and space for an indeterminate amount of time until Kevin’s voice came into his ear again.

“Maybe next year, not this year?”

Nick jolted, said, “Hold on a moment,” put the phone down, got the frozen dumplings out, and added them along with the snow peas to the soup. Meanwhile, he was collecting his thoughts.

When he picked up the phone again and said, “I’m back,” he heard a surprised “Oh,” from the other end of the line.

“Uh, sorry,” Kevin said, “go ahead.”

Against the window, Nick spoke in an undervoice, not wanting little ears to overhear. “I don’t… when Jackson’s an adult he can do what he wants, of course, but for me, I can’t… I can’t forget that your parents tried to take Jackson away from me. Maybe you had nothing to do with that but it doesn’t matter. If you’re living with them, I don’t want Jackson going there.”

“Okay,” said Kevin, disappointed. “I understand.”

“Did you tell Jackson about this idea?”

“No, I didn’t want him to pressure you about it if you didn’t want to let him go.”

Nick let out a huff. “Well, thanks.”

“Jackson’s a great kid, a really great kid,” said Kevin. “I can tell… that you’ve done a really good job raising him.”

“Ha. You say that?” said Nick, stirring the soup.

“It’s something I’ve had a lot of time to think about,” said Kevin.

“Do you want me to call Jackson to take the call back?”

“Yes, thank you, but only to say goodbye. My time’s almost up.”

Nick turned off the stove, went to the doorway, and looked out. “Jackson? Mr. Duan wants to say goodbye.”

Jackson got up from the table, and Nick hit speakerphone.

“Hello?” said Jackson, taking the phone and holding it in his palm.

“Hey Jackson,” said Kevin. “I should be able to talk to you same time next week, okay? I can’t wait to hear how your swim meet goes. Have a good weekend.”

“Thanks, goodnight,” said Jackson, and hung up. “Dad? What did he want to talk about?”

“He was just letting me know that if he gets out of prison, he’ll be moving to Deepmere.”

“Oh, he might be getting out of prison?” Jackson looked happy, then stricken, then nervous. “...Is that okay, Dad?”

Nick took a breath and tried to smile. “I’m sure he’ll only be let out if they think he’s ready to be out.”

“Deepmere’s pretty far away, right?”

“It is.”

Jonah, who had been doing homework at the table, piped up in a scared voice, “Why would they let him out of prison?”

“People can change, Jonah,” Nick said. “You don’t have anything to worry about, okay? Dinner is almost ready, help me get the table set.”

———

When Shine picked Nick up for their date, he couldn’t miss that Nick was troubled.

“Something wrong?” he said as he began to drive.

“I heard from Jackson’s sire today that he might be let out on parole soon.” Nick rubbed at his arm. “I don’t know. I guess it’s normal that I’m not… pleased about it, to begin with, and… well, he wanted to know if Jackson could go visit him on a school holiday someday…”

“What?!” Shine said. “What kind of nerve to even ask…”

“Well they’ve been talking almost every week for the last few years,” Nick said. “I do think…”

Shine waited for a while for Nick to say something, but when he was stopped at a light and glanced at Nick, he saw that Nick had his eyes closed and his fingers pressed against his forehead. “Are you alright?”

“The problem is,” Nick said without opening his eyes, “I can’t trust him. I was about to say that I thought he really does care about Jackson and that he’s sorry for what he did. From the evidence of my eyes and ears, I  _ do _ think that, and I  _ want _ him to be telling the truth. But I never expected… what he did, when it happened, it just came out of nowhere, I would have never thought…”

Nick’s shoulders were shaking now, and Shine found a place to pull over and park as fast as possible.

Holding someone sitting in the passenger seat of the car while in the driver’s seat was awkward, but Shine was extremely motivated.

“Sorry,” Nick said into his shoulder. “I’m ruining our date.”

“This is more important,” Shine said.

Nick pulled back, and adjusted his glasses self-consciously. “Did you make a reservation somewhere?”

“No, I didn’t,” said Shine, “and even if I had, it doesn’t matter. Being able to be there for you when you need someone is a much bigger step in our relationship than having a nice dinner.”

Nick got his half-smile. “You have a point.”

“Do you want to talk about it here?” said Shine. “Or we could rent a room for privacy. You don’t have to talk about it, of course, but I want to listen to anything you want to say.”

“Maybe rent a room,” Nick said softly after a minute, “but we should pick up some food to take with us.”

They grabbed food and drinks from a convenience store by the love hotel, paid for two hours, and headed up.

Nick started to laugh as they opened their drinks. “Sorry, I was just thinking how funny it is that the first time I brought you to an hourly hotel, all you did is purr and watch me sleep, and now you’re going to watch me eat a bento from 7-11.”

Shine smiled. “I haven’t regretted any time with you.”

Nick paused with the bottle of tea at his lips and flushed and pulled it back. “If I was drinking I probably would have choked… that’s way too sweet…”

“Sorry…” Now Shine was blushing. “I meant it though… I’m not very good at romantic stuff…”

“Are you kidding? That’s a Prince Charming level of romantic thing to say. I don’t know how to handle that kind of thing at all.” Nick took a drink of tea and set the bottle down on the little table.

Shine tried to keep his voice light. “Your alpha wasn’t ever romantic?”

Nick shook his head.

Shine ate a little of his own bento without tasting it much while watching Nick chew thoughtfully.

“Kevin was—” Nick began and then just as quickly cut off. He took another drink and started again. “Jackson’s sire’s name is Kevin Duan. He chatted me up at a library on a Friday; I had gone there looking to be picked up. We fucked all weekend at his place off campus and he wanted my number and for me to come back next weekend for more. I thought that sounded great, so I went back, but I left on Saturday because he started saying that he’d never met someone like me and we were so compatible and that he wanted to be exclusive. I freaked out and left.

“He texted me saying it was just the hormones, and he didn’t mean to rush me. I hedged by saying some empty bullshit like ‘thanks let me think about it’. I didn’t know I was already pregnant from the first weekend. Because I was such a dumb fuck back then, I had booty calls with him sometimes over the next few months. I definitely blew hot and cold with him. About three months after our first time he said ‘I love you’ while fucking me and while I didn’t freak out in the moment, I blocked his number after that and didn’t booty call him anymore.

“The rumours that I was pregnant were going around long before I got out of denial enough to test that I was pregnant. I was already something like twenty-three weeks when I got confirmed pregnant… I remember feeling like I was going to implode, when the doctor said how far along I was. I was in shock and I asked about abortion, and she gave me this look like I was the dumbest motherfucker she’d ever met, and I probably was. She said I was already far enough along that if I went into labour, the baby had a chance of survival—way too late for an elective abortion. Then she pushed a bunch of papers about adoption agencies at me.

“I had never been more scared and ashamed in my life. I’d been drinking and smoking, eating like shit, trying to diet to lose this stubborn ‘freshman 15’. I’d gotten zero prenatal care, and of course I had no clue who the sire was. It could have been dozens of people, some of whom I didn’t even know their names, especially the ones I fucked while drinking. It was all boiling inside me but who could I talk to? Who could I tell? Not my family, and I didn’t really have friends. My roommate, another omega guy, was the one who pushed me into seeing the doctor, and when he asked me about what the results were I couldn’t help telling him, even though I knew that was a bad idea even as I was doing it. I just needed to talk to somebody.”

Nick took a moment to gulp down more tea and dared to meet Shine’s eyes for a moment; Shine hoped his face showed only attention and concern.

Nick’s eyes darted away again, and he laughed weakly. “Just as you’d expect, my roommate told everybody… A dumb bitch of an omega who didn’t realize he was pregnant until he was almost ready to pop is juicy gossip, so pretty soon the whole school was buzzing. So obviously Kevin found out.

“He wasn’t the only former sex partner of mine who sought me out to ask if he was the sire, of course. By the time Kevin barged his way into my room I’d already had that awful conversation with four or five guys. I was surprised to see Kevin—I had him blocked, so he couldn’t text me, but he’d bribed my roommate to let him in to see me. And I thought, well, okay, this is going to be the same thing as I’ve done a few times by now. He says, ‘Am I the sire?’ I say, ‘I don’t know, you might be, but I’m probably giving the baby up for adoption.’ And then depending on the guy he might be relieved or upset about that, but it all would depend on a test that couldn’t be done until the baby was born anyway. If they said they wanted the test and they wanted to take care of the baby I’d say fine. If they said they didn’t want responsibility even if it was theirs I’d say fine. One guy we did the math and I didn’t start fucking him until like a month after I must have already been pregnant, so he just left.” Nick raised his hands and made a vague gesture. “Like, it was all shit, but I thought it was going to be the same shit. And Kevin… he seemed so nice… I was definitely fucking some real scumbags, not to mention some guys who I would have guessed were criminals or potentially violent, but Kevin wasn’t one of those… God, I was such a whore.”

Nick’s voice faltered.

“Anyway. Kevin said, ‘Why didn’t you call me?’ I thought he meant after our last booty call, but then he started to get angry and said, ‘No, when you went into heat, why didn’t you call me? Who was fucking you better than me?’ I said I didn’t go into heat, he didn’t believe me. He kept asking who I went to when I was in heat. The more I said nobody, the angrier he got. I was sitting at my desk chair and he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up, yelling right in my face not to lie. When I said, ‘I’m not lying…’” Nick swallowed. “That’s how it started. He slammed my whole body into the wall, then he started hitting me, and when I fell to the ground he kicked me… all the time he kept saying, ‘Stop lying! Tell me his name! Just tell me his name!’

“I lost consciousness and woke up in a hospital. I found out later that my roommate called the police before the fight even started, when he was just getting in my face and yelling at me. My roommate felt really bad about it, he wasn’t really a bad person, not  _ that _ bad anyway…” Nick looked at Shine again. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever told this story to anyone since the end of the trial. I had to testify all of that of course… oh, one thing that was absurd, Kevin’s lawyer asked how I could be sure what I remembered was accurate, since I had a concussion. I said, ‘Yeah, because Kevin kicked me in the head,’ and the whole courtroom laughed, even the judge. It was like a dark comedy for everybody… The prosecutor said that the laughter was a key moment, that it got everybody on my side and they were really laughing at the lawyer for asking a question that in itself proved that his client had caused me brain damage, but I can’t forget it, saying that he kicked me in the head and everyone laughing…

Nick let out a weird laugh himself. “And what else is funny… the reason I changed my mind about the adoption, you know, because after having been such a horrible person and now that I’d been beaten up, I was convinced there was no way that my baby wouldn’t have serious problems. I couldn’t let someone else take care of my baby, I couldn’t  _ trust _ anyone else to love him. I was going to love him no matter how stupid or broken he was. And… he came out perfect! Oh, God, Shine, he was so beautiful. I thought I was dreaming, almost that it was a nightmare, that I was seeing what my baby might have been if I hadn’t fucked up over and over, but it was real. Jackson was the most beautiful baby I’d ever seen and his eyes were so intelligent, even at only a few hours old. I couldn’t believe I was so lucky.” His smile was so tender, his eyes misty. “And then I found out that Kevin was the sire after all.”

“This is awful, I’m an awful dad, that I even think this, but… even more now… I love Logan and Jonah and Lucas, I love them just as much as Jackson. But Jackson’s the smartest and the best at everything among the four of them, and he’s so responsible and kind and just  _ good _ . Even as babies and toddlers they were so different. Logan and Jonah and Lucas are all more like me or Jason—Logan’s got a lot of Jason’s attitude and school problems, Jonah’s timid and easily overwhelmed like I am, Lucas is eager to please and doesn’t think about consequences, and that’s like me too…”

“I would never describe you as easily overwhelmed,” Shine interrupted, then said, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. But you’ve survived so much and you keep going.”

Nick shook his head, but said only, “But what I mean is… Jackson is just…  _ better _ than the rest of us… and I keep getting this sick, horrible guilt… I know he didn’t get all of those good qualities from me. He must have gotten them from Kevin… Kevin’s parents were right, all the character witnesses they called were  _ right, _ Kevin was a good, an  _ outstanding _ person who only lost his mind because he had the misfortunate to get entangled with me. I made him crazy.”

“No,” said Shine, incredulous that Nick could think that.

“But what else could it be?” Nick began to cry, and pulled off his glasses. “I’ve heard how he talks to Jackson. They talk about school and Kevin is so intelligent, he could have been someone extraordinary—”

“He tried to kill you!”

“If I hadn’t played with his feelings—”

“You didn’t owe him anything!” Shine got up, came around the table and pulled Nick into a gentle embrace, purring as the omega cried against him. “Nick, oh Nick, have you been holding this inside all this time?”

“It’s got to be my fault,” Nick sobbed, “I’ve fucked so much else up in my life so why should this be any different.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Shine purred.

Nick didn’t say anything, he just wept into Shine’s shoulder. Shine could feel him getting heavy in his arms and moved them to the bed, lying on top of the duvet.

Nick’s crying quieted and his face smoothed with his eyes closed, and Shine thought he’d fallen asleep, but then Nick muttered, “I’m extremely fucked up.”

“That’s fine with me,” purred Shine.

“I’m afraid of how I feel about you.”

Shine’s heart began beating faster. He tried to come up with words, but wasn’t sure what were the right ones.

Nick’s eyes opened and looked at Shine mournfully. “I make bad decisions, that’s all I ever do, so if I like you this much…”

“You do have quite a history… I can’t blame you for wanting to take it slow.”

“But I  _ don’t _ want to take it slow,” Nick said vehemently, and he suddenly pushed Shine back and straddled his hips, startling his purr into stopping. “I have no impulse control with alphas! All I ever think about is being fucked! But I’ve never been in  _ love _ like this with someone and that scares the shit out of me! How badly am I going to hurt myself this time?!”

He was starting to tear up again, and all Shine could say is, “Nick…”

“If you turned out to be bad too,” Nick said, his fingers gripping Shine’s shirt, “I think it would destroy me. You’re too good to be true but I want you. I want you so much.”

“I don’t think I’m anywhere near as great as you’re saying, but I promise I will always try to be good for you. I never want to hurt you.”

“What about the kids?” Nick pursued. “Can you really love the ones I already have as much as you love the ones we have together? You won’t treat them differently?”

Before Shine could answer, Nick was lifting his hands off of Shine’s chest and rubbing his face, saying, “Listen to me, we’ve barely been dating a few weeks and I’m pressuring you like this.”

“You’re not pressuring me,” said Shine, sitting up and gently taking Nick’s forearms to pull his hands away from his face. “I’m the one who wanted a relationship that progressed quickly in the first place, remember? I’m the one with the ticking biological clock here.”

“I don’t know how to do any of this,” said Nick, his eyes so vulnerable and wide without the glasses in the way.

“You know, I was reading in the newspaper this morning, that something like 80% of bonded alpha/omega couples reported dating less than six months, 50% less than three months and 8% reported bonding without ever dating. They were comparing the figures to 1960, where 99% reported less than six months, 90% less than three months and 60% never dated. So we’re not being abnormal if we do this fast.”

“But isn’t that just more proof that Kevin going crazy was natural? That it was my fault for slutting around?”

“Bonding should be something that both people want,” Shine said firmly. “People who want to bond doing so very quickly doesn’t mean anyone is entitled to someone who doesn’t want them. Him not taking your no wasn’t your fault. If you had been in heat and gone to someone else, that was your choice too. No matter what you had done, it wouldn’t have given him the right to attack you. Okay? The two of us moving fast when we both want to move fast has nothing to do with his attack on you.”

Nick half-smiled. “It sort of does, because are you sure you want to move fast with someone as messed up as me?”

“Yes, because I want to be with you more and sooner. Just how you are, I want to be with you.”

The smile widened. “I like being with you too.”

Shine leaned forward to kiss him, and Nick kissed back passionately, making a questioning tug at Shine’s shirt that the alpha was eager to go along with.

“How do you want to fuck this time,” Nick said as the kiss broke naturally to let them undress.

“You on top,” said Shine, and then moaned when Nick straddled him backwards.

“This okay?” Nick said with a saucy look over his shoulder as he slid against Shine’s cock, coating it with slick.

“Please,” was all Shine could manage. “God you have a great ass.”

Nick laughed, but then keened as he took Shine inside himself and immediately began riding him hard. When Shine’s hips reflexively bucked up, Nick cried out, “Yes, yes, do that again!”

Their fucking was raw and desperate, almost violent; such a contrast to how only minutes prior they had been softly embracing while purring and talking in undervoices about trauma.

Maybe that was part of the energy. Shine wanted Nick so much, in every way. Wanted to fill Nick with himself, cover him with pheromones inside and out, keep him safe and meet all his needs, just as Nick would be the mate that he’d always yearned for.

Touching, touching, touching.

Nick was hunched forward, one hand gripping hard enough onto Shine’s shin to leave bruises, the other jacking his little cock off furiously. Every lewd wordless noise he made was going straight to Shine’s head. The faster they fucked into each other, the stronger the urge became to pull the omega hard down against himself and  _ keep _ him stuck with a thick knot. To make him  _ bulge. _

_ Shit. Fuck. Just cum, just cum, don’t knot him. Don’t do that to him. _

“I’m cumming!” Nick gasped, blissfully unaware of the tenuous grip on morality that the alpha beneath him was experiencing.

Shine closed his eyes so he couldn’t see Nick’s body shaking on top of him, letting out a loud groan as his cock pulsed and his head swam with his orgasm.

When he came back to himself, he was inexpressibly relieved that he opened his eyes to see Nick lifting his hips up and off of him. Cum dripped down out of Nick’s hole and dribbled onto Shine.

“That felt so good,” Shine said, his voice a little tight. Nick was stretching, his eyes closed, looking thoroughly satisfied.

“Let me just go to the bathroom and clean myself up a little,” said Nick. “Then we need to finish eating. I’m starving now. I don’t know if that bento is gonna be enough.”

Shine didn’t want to move a muscle. “We can order more food.”

“Mm, were you thinking of round two?” Nick said over his shoulder as he went to the bathroom.

_ Round two?! No way could I survive round two. _

His hand went to his softening cock and the semen that had fallen out of Nick onto him.

It hit some instinctive button deep inside, making his lips twist. The cum should  _ not  _ be there. It should be inside Nick. Nick should still be connected to him, Shine should be kissing him and telling him how wonderful he was, rubbing his abdomen tenderly…  _ I want to knot him. I want to knot him! _

Shine forced himself to sit up and walk to the bathroom, rapping on the door lightly. “Can I come in? I should clean off too.”

“Yeah, just a second.”

Shine heard a toilet flush, and fuck if that didn’t set off the twisty feeling inside him anew. The thought that Nick had expelled his essence and it was going down into the sewers…

_ What the hell. I’m getting nastier and nastier! _

A faucet turned on. “You can come in now, I didn’t lock it.”

Shine opened the door. Nick was washing his hands, and turned to smile at him, but then said with a little anxiety, “You okay?”

How to answer that? He didn’t want to lie, but he also didn’t want to make it Nick’s problem. “It was really good. The sex.  _ Really  _ good. But my body still wants more.”

“When I was younger,” Nick said, “I went to two different doctors to double up on suppressants, because I loved getting knotted, but also because most alphas didn’t even ask before they knotted me. Or if I said no, they’d knot me anyway and say it was an accident. I figured it was just part of sex with alphas. I only stopped doing that four years years ago because my main doctor, who was giving me the oral suppressants, noticed the injection site. Then he made me run a full set of tests, not just the STD ones, and he sat me down and showed me in the results how much I was fucking up my endocrine system, and he asked me if I wanted to leave my kids orphans. Real wake up call.” Nick sighed. “I’m telling you this because… I know it’s not easy to hold yourself back. It really means so much to me that you only knotted me with permission, and that you haven’t knotted me since.” He went up to Shine, embraced him, and gave him a soft closed mouth kiss. “So much. If i was an alpha… well, I have no impulse control at all.”

“It doesn’t upset you?”

Nick’s face, so close to his, began to smirk, and he moved to whisper into Shine’s ear, “That you want to fuck me wide open on your hot, thick knot? Pump me full of your cum while I’m screaming with pleasure? Seal my slutty hole shut so that I can’t do anything but keep your cock wet and warm?” He kissed Shine’s earlobe. “It doesn’t upset me.”

With that, he released Shine and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the alpha half-hard again.

———

The age groups went from youngest to oldest, with both Jonah and Lucas swimming in the 8 and under category. Jonah swam two different backstroke events while Lucas swam the sprint events of freestyle, breaststroke and butterfly.

Jackson and Logan were off in the locker with their coaches so it was just Nick and Shine, Nick jumping up and down and cheering loudly as Lucas waved at him from the platform while waiting for the starter pistol.

In this age group, many of the kids jumped into the pool rather than diving at all, but Lucas dived headfirst with no fear.

“Wow!” Shine said, and Nick felt a warm glow of pride as he kept clapping and shouting Lucas’s name.

Lucas finished second, but considering that meant second among a field where he was the youngest swimmer, Nick still thought it was an unbelievable accomplishment. He knew Lucas was a strong swimmer but this was his first time being allowed in a swim meet.

“He got second!!!” Nick shouted, hugging onto a Shine. “Did you see that?! Lucas got second! Lucas! Lucas! You did so well!!!”

Lucas was beaming and waving like crazy at his dad.

“Butterfly isn’t even his best event!” Nick told Shine as the coaches directed the kids to clear the pool area for the next event.

A few minutes later, while Nick and Shine were sitting on the bleachers talking because the current event didn’t have any of Nick’s sons, a voice said, “Mr. Jiang?”

Nick looked up. It was one of the swim coaches, with another man next to him. “Oh, Coach Han. Nice to see you!”

“Lucas did even better than we expected today,” The young man said, grinning. “Mr. Jiang, this is Coach Li. He’s one of the coaches at the sports academy in Perilla.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” said Nick, wondering if he should stand up or introduce Shine to them, and what this was about.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Jiang,” said Coach Li, “Could we talk for a bit while your sons are still swimming?”

“Um, sure,” said Nick, standing up and picking his way off the bleachers. “Be right back,” he said to Shine.

Coach Li was much taller than Nick, and had broad shoulders like a swimmer. Through the scent of the pool, Nick could just catch a hint of his alpha pheromones. “We always ask about promising youth when we come to meets like this,” Coach Li said, “and I have to say that little Lucas is very impressive. He’s really only five years old?”

“He turns six this fall,” said Nick.

“Amazing,” said Coach Li. “I have students who are older than him working full time on their form who don’t have his skills. And he goes to a regular school, right?”

“He goes to the West Hill Academy,” Nick said. He had made so many sacrifices for his children to go there that he couldn’t let it just be called a ‘regular school.’

“I think Lucas has enough talent to get into our school,” said Coach Li. “But actually, I think he’s being wasted in swimming. He’s impressive as a swimmer, but he’s an omega, and now that I’ve met you, I think I’m right in thinking he’s never going to be tall. And his sire’s not tall either.”

Nick wondered how Coach Li would know that. “Taller than me but not by much.”

“Not tall enough,” said Coach Li, “but for diving! In diving being short is an advantage. And your kid clearly has guts. His entry into the water was just beautiful. I get hunches, and when I watched him, I didn’t see a swimmer, I saw a diver. A really excellent one. National team level, potentially. If you put him into our school, we could help him achieve that.”

Nick blinked. “Oh… but his school is very good and he’s not just good at athletics…”

“I understand, I understand, sports seems much less certain of a future, but our school teaches them academics too, believe me! They will get a strong education in math, writing, and everything else they need. Plus, our school is one of the government schools—that means the tuition is free for you. And if he shines really brightly in our school, he could even be scouted for one of the elite schools in Northopolis, Loveland, and so on.” Coach Li smiled. “Coach Han warned me that the boys’ sire never takes them to practice or even shows up at their meets, so that your family probably doesn’t think much of swimming, but sports can be a very exciting career path! I’m glad that your alpha came to cheer them on today, of course, but that’s part of why I wanted to get you aside—I figured you’d be a little easier to win over to the possibility.”

“I’m sorry, I think you’ve misunderstood… uh, this is awkward, but Lucas’s sire passed away some years ago. I’m a single parent.”

Coach Li went red. “Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Never mind,” said Nick with a weak smile.

Another whistle blew, and announcements said the next event would be the 8 and under 100m backstroke.

“I have to get back in the stands,” said Nick. “My son Jonah is swimming in this.”

Coach Li pulled a business card out of his track suit pocket and presented it with both hands. “Here, this is the card of my coworker Coach Mao, she’s the head diving coach. I’m going to talk to her about your son, and I really hope you’ll give her a call this week. It doesn’t obligate you to anything.”

Nick took the card. “Thanks.”

———

“I love my ribbons!” Lucas said, squirming in his seat with one in each hand. The six of them were seated around a table at a dim sum restaurant, having just ordered a ton of dishes.

Shine smiled, but Nick said, “You need to sit still. You’re going to fall out of your chair and hurt yourself.”

“I’m so hungry,” whined Logan, “when is the food going to get here?”

“Do you want me to check my crystal ball for the answer?” said Nick, and Jonah giggled, then flushed when Shine glanced at him.

“Dad said you’re a chemical engineer,” said Jackson. “That’s a good job, right?”

“I enjoy it,” said Shine. “I’ve always like problem solving, and it involves a lot of new challenges all the time, so it never gets boring. Sometimes the deadlines can be stressful.”

“I’m pretty good at math,” said Jackson, “so I thought maybe I should try to study some kind of engineering, if I can get into a good school for that.”

“Math is definitely important for engineers,” agreed Shine.

Logan looked decidedly less pleased at this discussion of future careers. He reached into his pocket, then pulled the hand back out empty and looked even more unhappy.

“Look, I think some food is coming already,” said Nick, and they all happily tucked into the first round of food: spring dumplings, pork buns, and chicken feet.

It was a rather eventful meal, at least by Shine’s standards. Jonah burned his tongue on a soup dumpling, Lucas dropped a rice roll all over his shirt, and Logan and Jackson looked about ready to kill each other at one point over who got the last sparerib. Shine offered to order another round of spareribs, whereupon Lucas piped up that in that case could they get more egg tarts too?

“Fine with me,” said Shine. “Jonah, do you want anything else?”

Jonah looked at his dad in a panic.

“How about some pudding?” said Nick. “That’d feel nice on your tongue, right sweetie?”

Jonah looked back at Shine and gave a very small nod.

“Mango pudding?” asked Shine.

Jonah nodded again.

“Okay, more spareribs, more egg tarts, and a mango pudding,” said Shine.

“What about you Mr. Huo?” said Lucas. “What do you like?”

“I shouldn’t have too much,” said Shine, “I’m not growing like you, so if I eat like you, I’ll get fat.”

Lucas looked like he had a follow up comment, suddenly changed expression, and said urgently, “Daddy I have to go to the bathroom right now.”

Nick stood up. “Okay, you kids be good for Mr. Huo when I’m gone, right?”

“Of course Dad,” said Jackson, as if the question was insulting.

Nick smiled and led a squirming Lucas away to hunt down the facilities.

When they were gone, Logan glanced at Jackson, who nodded, and then Logan leaned forward and said very seriously, “We think you should marry Dad.”

Jonah clutched onto the JDB his father had ordered for his burnt tongue and gave his older brothers a frantic look.

Jackson, who was closest to Jonah, patted onto his younger brother reassuringly. “Jonah’s kind of shy—”

“—really shy,” muttered Logan.

“—but he’d get used to you eventually, don’t worry. And Dad is great.”

“Dad is really great,” agreed Logan.

Shine finally found his voice at this. “I agree your Dad is really great,” he said, “but can I ask why you’re telling me this suddenly?”

This time Jackson and Logan’s exchanged glance was a little more guilty.

“Well…” said Logan, sounding a little reluctant. “Dad doesn’t like to ask for help.”

“Not many alphas want to take on an omega who has kids already,” said Jackson, pushing on his glasses in a very businesslike way. “We just want to encourage you.”

“Gege [Jackson] and I were talking about it and we think you seem good enough,” said Logan.

Shine couldn’t help laughing. “But we’ve only met a few times?”

“But Dad  _ never _ introduces guys to us,” said Jackson. “I knew that meant he must respect and trust you a lot. And Dad… doesn’t trust alphas, so…”

“If you married Dad, would we come and live with you?” Jonah said in a very small voice, almost inaudible in the noisy restaurant.

“That’s what I’m hoping,” said Shine. “Do you like cats?”

For the first time, Jonah looked slightly hopeful. He nodded.

“I have three cats,” said Shine. “I like cats a lot. Maybe I can have you guys over to meet them soon.”

“I like cats too,” said Jonah, still very quiet.

“I’m glad to know you two are supportive of me marrying your dad,” said Shine to Jackson and Logan. “Especially since I know this could feel very sudden. I can’t say when it will happen, but I know your dad already knows I want to marry him. So it isn’t so much a matter of me asking him.”

“Oh,” said Logan, and looked at Jackson. “Well, crap, how do we get Dad to ask him?”

Jackson was frowning too. “I don’t know.”

Shine laughed. “You boys really don’t have to worry about it. This is for grown-ups.”

Nick and Lucas came back, and Shine didn’t mention his sons’ matchmaking encouragement, but did say that he’d like to bring the kids over to meet the cats, maybe today?

They went after they were done with the dim sum. Jonah and Godiva immediately hit it off, and Jonah actually managed to have a conversation with Shine centred around the cat.

The other kids crowed over Shine’s huge TV and were even more excited to find out he had a PS3 with enough controllers for three of them to play a racing game.

Shine sat on the couch with his arm around Nick as Jonah played with a cat teaser with Godiva and the other three sat on cushions on the floor laughing and joking and bemoaning their defeats as they zoomed their cars around the virtual track.

_ This is the kind of noisy life I want to come home to after work. I don’t just want Nick. I want everything. I want to be part of his family. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger chapter end! You have been warned!

Nick’s phone rang while he was making dinner. The caller ID said it was a hotel, which was puzzling. He let it go to voicemail.

The caller didn’t leave a voicemail, but they immediately called again, so Nick sighed, washed his hands from cutting up chicken, and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hi Nick, it’s Kevin.”

Nick blinked. From a hotel number… “Oh, hello.”

“I had my parole approved,” said Kevin, “and they actually let me out the same day, which I wasn’t expecting. I’m, ah, staying at a hotel here in Loveland.”

Nick had been expecting Kevin to be released, but hearing that it had happened still gave him a cold feeling. “Congratulations.”

Kevin awkwardly chuckled. “Thanks, I guess… um, so, my father is giving me a job in his company… so I’ll be able to pay you child support now. Obviously you can file for it, but I wanted to offer you ¥5000 a month to start, if that’s alright… you’ll need to give me your bank details for that.”

Five thousand a month was the same as what Nick got from his real job. He could put that money into savings, get an actual emergency fund going… what a relief it would be, to know that he would have money to fix the car or—

“Hello? Are you still there?”

“Oh, sorry, I was just surprised,” said Nick. “I wasn’t expecting… well, anything.”

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to do more before. I know Jackson’s school must be a big expense for you. And, uh… speaking of Jackson… before I buy my ticket to Deepmere, is there any possibility I can see him in person before I leave? I know this is short notice and I don’t want to inconvenience you. I can come to Jade Mountain, we can meet somewhere public, and you can bring your husband of course…”

“My husband?” Nick and Kevin had never spoken about Nick’s personal life at all; Nick wasn’t sure where Kevin had gotten the idea that he was married, unless it was just an assumption based on Jackson mentioning his younger brothers. “Ah, my husband passed away a few years ago.”

“Oh… I’m very sorry, I didn’t know.”

Nick took a shaky breath. “I know Jackson will want to see you. I… I need to think about when and where. Can you call me tonight after the kids are in bed? At 9:30pm?”

“Yeah, will do. Oh, wait, Nick?”

“Yes?”

“Uh, the uh, the government lawyer mentioned that he had spoken to you and that you said you had no objection to my being released, and, uh, that you hoped that after release I’d be able to have a closer relationship with Jackson. I, uh, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that. I really want to be closer to Jackson too.”

Nick’s fingernails made crescent-shaped indentations in the heel of his palm. “Well, nothing can change that you’re Jackson’s sire, so I want to make the best of it.”

Kevin’s voice was sad. “I know. I still appreciate it… well, I’ll hang up now.”

“Goodbye.”

———

_ “Sure, I don’t mind watching the boys,”  _ his former mother-in-law had said on the phone.  _ “They say they really like this new man in your life, by the way.” _

_ “Popo…”  _ Nick had been torn and embarrassed on a lot of levels.

_ “Oh, you don’t have to say any more. I’m glad you’re finally ready to find someone. It’s not good for an omega to have to work. If that son of mine had just been more careful…” _

She thought he was asking her to watch the kids so he could have a date.

Whatever this was, Nick thought as he sat on a park bench looking at the man who some 14 years earlier had put him into intensive care, it definitely was not a date.

Nick couldn’t avoid seeing the photograph that Kevin had sent him to give to Jackson, but other than that he had avoided looking at Kevin just as he had avoided looking at him during the trial.

But now Kevin was there. Still a good looking man, despite the unflatteringly short prison haircut. Kevin had been a grad student, four years older. That meant he was thirty-eight or so now. He was stopped about two meters away from Nick’s bench, hands in the pockets of his jacket, left unzipped in the spring breeze.

The breeze shifted, blowing the wind towards Nick, and he flinched as Kevin’s scent hit him. It wasn’t even strong, but the memories brought back by that smell of sweet pepper and saffron…

“Do you want to sit down?” Nick forced himself to say.

Kevin sat down, leaving a good person’s width between them. He took his hands out of his pockets and laid them flat on the top of his thighs. “You look so different,” he said, “with the glasses, and everything. If you hadn’t held your hand up, I don’t think I would have recognized you.”

“You’d know my smell.”

As if by reflex, he heard Kevin take in a deep, shuddery breath. “Yeah… yeah, I do know your smell.” His hands flexed a little. “So… so why did you want to see me?”

“Because I’m afraid of you,” Nick said, still watching Kevin’s hands in his peripheral vision. “I can’t… I just can’t allow Jackson to see you if I’m too terrified to be near you. I need to be sure that I can remain calm enough to keep him safe, because he  _ does _ want to see you. I know very well that he does. When he heard you were getting out of jail, his whole face lit up.”

“I… I understand that. That’s… reasonable, I think. I… well… I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist from in jail. My parents paid for it… my father—” He stopped himself. “Anyway, with the therapist—”

“What were you about to say about your father?”

“My father… it took a long time to get him to agree to pay for it because he was adamant I didn’t need therapy. I think… not to try to pass off responsibility, but I understand a lot more about why I was the way I was. Why I thought… I thought I was entitled…” The fingers were pressing against the denim of his pants. “My father is a very angry person, too. But I was worse than him. I’ve been working hard, or trying to… to become a person who won’t lose my temper like that, or… someone who doesn’t think about things the way I used to think about them…”

There was silence for a little while.

“Jackson’s relay team won their 500m medley,” Nick said.

“Ah… ah, really? That’s great… I don’t know if Jackson told you, but I used to swim when I was young, too.”

“He did. He said he asked your advice about it. I don’t know how to swim, still.”

“It’s not too late to learn.”

Another pause. Nick watched the kids playing at a playground nearby, the parents standing nearby, the elders doing determined circuits around a walking track.

If he needed to scream for help, surely someone would call the police, right?

“There was one other thing I wanted to tell you… although, I suppose, now that you’ve been out for a few days, it’s even possible you know.” Nick’s voice had lowered. He had absolutely no idea how Kevin would react. His body was preparing to spring off the bench and bolt if necessary. “I suppose in prison you didn’t have access to pornography.”

Kevin laughed, but in a startled rather than amused way. “Oh. You’re going to tell me about that?”

Nick turned his head swiftly. “What?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know you did porn,” Kevin said, scratching the back of his head, his colour heightened. “My father told me. He wanted to use it to appeal the child custody and take Jackson away from you, but because he’d been such a complete ass during my trial and then again during the original child custody trial, he wasn’t even allowed to file, I guess. Then he came up with a scheme that I would marry some girl that worked for them and then file for  _ her _ to take custody until I got out of jail. I refused, I said that was ridiculous.”

Nick had to swallow to be able to speak. “When?”

“Oh, a long time ago. Ten years, I guess.”

“So you’ve… you’ve known all this time?”

“Yeah. I uh… I haven’t looked at any of it. My therapist thought that would be a bad idea.”

“You knew I did porn and you didn’t try to take Jackson away from me?”

“Well, obviously that was the right decision. He’s so… he’s really  _ such _ a great kid, Nick. God knows he didn’t inherit that from me. I’m so glad… I can’t thank you enough for letting me get to know him.”

“He’s a lot like you, I think,” Nick said. “He looks more and more like you, now that he’s going through puberty.”

Kevin’s smile got bittersweet. “He doesn’t seem to have a temper, though. He’s very tolerant, open, and… and forgiving. That’s you, Nick.”

Nick didn’t take compliments well from anyone. Getting one from Kevin in this context left him completely unable to respond.

“I’m trying to look at this as an opportunity to start again,” Kevin said, when Nick didn’t say anything for a while. “The big thing I’m worried about is that at least to start off with I’ve got to live with my parents. They’re expecting it. My father is way overpaying me in this job. I don’t know if I could even get a job somewhere else, with my criminal record, so I have to go along with it.”

“Now that you’re out of jail,” Nick said, “won’t your father expect you to file for shared custody?”

“Yes, he does, but I have something of a plan for that,” Kevin said. “Delay tactics. Also, that’s how I’m hoping to get him agree to let me move out. I said, you have to let me settle into life out of prison first so I can demonstrate I’m stable and behaving before I can ask for any custody. He didn’t like it but he agreed. So about a year from now, then I say that I should live in a separate home, since the court already said that he wasn’t an appropriate influence for a child… and… and I was hoping, maybe, maybe at that point you’d… if I promised not to let my parents see Jackson without supervision, or…”

“Maybe we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves,” said Nick, instead of what he really wanted to say, which is that he didn’t want Jackson in the same province as someone who would definitely fill his ears with all of kinds of garbage about Nick.

“No, you’re right, you’re right.” Kevin put his hands back on his thighs. “My therapist has been telling me the same thing… I really hope I can find a therapist I get on with as well in Deepmere.”

“Will your father let you see a therapist?”

Kevin smiled wryly. “It’s in the parole conditions.”

“That’s good, then.” Nick fidgeted with the strap of his messenger bag. “I… um, if you’ll wait here, I’ll go get Jackson.”

Kevin’s face lit up, and the expression was so much like Jackson’s. “Really?”

“Yeah. Should take me twenty minutes or so, depending on traffic.”

“That’s great. That’s really great, yeah, I’ll wait, no problem.”

Nick used the walk back to the car to digest what had just happened.

Once again Nick was trying to square a circle. Kevin knew Nick had done porn? All those times that Kevin had apologized to Nick, thanked Nick for doing such a good job with Jackson, all those long conversations with Jackson where he had frequently encouraged Jackson to respect and help out his dad—that was all with him already knowing that Nick had done porn?

Nick sat in the driver’s seat of the car for a moment, just breathing. God. It was a mercy that he hadn’t known, back in those days that he first started doing porn, that he had come close to having to fight another custody battle because of it.

What a blind spot. How had it never occurred to him before now that Kevin’s family would have  _ someone _ in it who would recognize Nick as Trouble Xiao? Of course, Kevin’s father would latch onto that as a reason to deem Nick an unfit parent. God, and it might have worked!

Nick started the car and drove home, where Jackson and Logan were home together.

At home, he called Jackson aside first.

“Jackson, do you call your sire Mr. Duan because you want to spare my feelings?” he said without preamble.

Jackson looked guilty, which made Nick feel guilty. “Sort of… it’s not a big deal, Dad.”

Nick took a breath. “You can choose what to call him. You don’t have to worry about my feelings. If it would make you feel closer to him and more like his son to call him Baba, then go ahead.”

Jackson looked down. “But I know you don’t like him.”

“Jackson.” Jackson looked up as his father put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “I’m not going to blame you or think less of you for loving your sire, okay? I’m not going to ask you to choose between us.”

“Okay, Dad.”

“Can I have a hug?”

Jackson hugged him tight, and Nick ruffled his hair, making the boy exclaim.

_ This is the same baby I carried inside me… the toddler I watched learn to speak and walk… the little boy who called me daddy and picked flowers for me… he’s gotten so tall. He’ll be taller than me soon. _

“I don’t want to go,” Logan said belligerently when Nick told him to get his coat and shoes on. “Why can’t I stay here? I’m even doing my stupid homework.”

“You’re too young to stay home alone.”

“You let Gege [Jackson] stay home alone when  _ he _ was ten.”

This was true. “Fine. You want me to say it? You’re too immature.”

Logan scowled and pushed his notebook away. “Fine.”

Nick told Logan he could play on the playground while Jackson spoke to his sire, but Logan made a scathing remark about how he didn’t want to do something so immature, so instead they sat far apart on one bench in stony silence while on the next bench over, Jackson and Kevin were sitting together.

Kevin had eagerly accepted Jackson’s offered hug, and both of them had to wipe away tears when they sat down. Nick’s stomach was in knots as he stared at his phone.

Maybe he’d forced Logan to come because he wanted comfort. Maybe he was that selfish. For sure, Logan wasn’t offering any comfort right now. The preteen was sitting on the extreme other end of the bench, looking at some birds perching on a statue with his stormy expression still in place.

A text popped up.

**Shine:** Haven’t heard from you for a few days. Everything alright?

Oh, shit. Nick had fucked up yet another thing. He hadn’t spoken to Shine after Kevin’s call on Wednesday evening because he didn’t want to talk about Kevin and he also didn’t want to speak to Shine as if nothing was wrong.

He’d even left a sweet “good morning” text from Shine on read from yesterday.

**Nick:** Sorry, I was putting you off because I didn’t want to talk about something. It wasn’t your fault, I should have been honest. Jackson’s sire did get released from jail. He’s meeting with Jackson right now, because he’ll be moving to Deepmere very soon.

No response. No “Shine is typing” dots. Nick felt even worse.

**Nick:** I’m really sorry. I sometimes shut people out when I’m trying to avoid thinking about something.

Even the sight of the “typing” dots didn’t provide any relief. At last another text came through.

**Shine:** I do feel hurt that you thought it was better to avoid me than to tell me what was happening. I’m also worried about you, and I want to see you.  
**Nick:** Could you sleep over tonight?

Nick hit enter before he could chicken out of his request. Talk about blowing hot and cold. It would serve him right if—

**Shine:** Of course, I’d love to spend the night with you. When can I come over?  
**Nick:** I haven’t picked up the little boys yet and none of us have had dinner. Do you want to come over for dinner? I can make enough.  
**Shine:** Sure, I’d love to eat your cooking.

Oh. Yeah, this would be the first time that Shine would eat a dinner that Nick prepared. A new kind of anxiety introduced himself: the homemaker audition.

**Nick:** I’m not a very good cook.  
**Shine:** Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll like whatever you make.

Nick smiled at the phone.

———

“Can I have more rice?” said Lucas.

“You haven’t touched your vegetables.”

“I had a bite of carrot!”

“You can’t just eat rice and meat. Don’t you want to grow up strong and tall like Dage [Jackson]? Look, he’s eating all his vegetables.”

“Jackson’s tall because his sire is tall,” said Logan sullenly, and the table got quiet.

“Maybe Jackson’s sire ate his vegetables too,” Nick said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Don’t kick me,” Logan said to Jackson.

“I didn’t kick you,” Jackson said, but not very believably. “Mr. Huo, did you know there’s going to be a kite festival next week in Iron Tree Park? I saw a flyer.”

“You did so kick me,” growled Logan. “I wasn’t saying anything bad, so keep your feet to yourself.”

“Logan, just drop it,” said Nick.

“You’re always taking his side,” muttered Logan, then got up. “I’m full. I’m going to go finish the homework I didn’t get to do earlier.”

He stomped off, and Nick rubbed his temple. Nick loved Logan, one hundred percent, but he found him by far the most difficult child to be a parent for. Jackson was so easy and Lucas and Jonah had problems that he knew how to talk to them about. Nick felt like whatever disciplinary or parental approach he tried to take with Logan, it never worked.

“I’ll have some more rice, please,” said Shine. “Everything’s delicious.”

“Here, I’ll get it for you,” said Jackson, hastening to take Shine’s bowl to the rice cooker.

After dinner, it was odd to have another person there during the bedtime routine.

Lucas begged for Mr. Huo to read him a story, and Shine obliged, with Jonah peering down from the safety of the top bunk to listen.

Seeing Shine getting along with the boys so well already… Nick felt so lucky. Lucas was easy to win over, of course, but the rest of them were not. One particularly not.

Nick managed to get a moment with Logan.

“Sweetheart,” he said, hoping the pet name would thaw his grumpy son a little, “I know it was a bit of a rough day, but is something in particular bothering you?”

Logan let his dad give him a side hug. “I know it’s stupid,” he muttered, “but I’m so jealous of Gege and I’m mad at him for wanting to spend time with his stupid sire. It’s not fair.”

Nick had no idea how to reply to the content of Logan’s confession, so he addressed just the emotion. “I have a hard time handling it too, sweetheart. Let’s try to be patient together, okay? Can you help Dad like that?”

Logan returned the side hug. “I’m sorry Dad.”

“It’s okay. Go brush your teeth.”

———

By the time Shine had let himself text Nick again, he was worried that maybe Nick had gotten spooked and blocked him.

Not getting a response to a simple good morning for the entire day? That wasn’t exactly boyfriend behaviour. That wasn’t asking too much.

Once they got the kids to bed, Shine knew he needed to have a serious talk with Nick.

He just hoped he could do it in such a way that Nick understood that Shine was saying this because he wanted them to have a future.

It was a little difficult not to just forget this difficult emotional stuff and just ravish his sexy boyfriend when Nick locked the door and started undressing. Shine had brought an overnight bag and he began to undress too, which at least kept his hands busy.

“I’m really sorry again about shutting you out,” said Nick before Shine could bring it up. “I’m… I’m just not used to having a boyfriend… come to think of it, you’re my first boyfriend, so maybe that’s why…” Nick laughed awkwardly, taking off his glasses and putting them on the little night table. He reached into his closet and began pulling out nesting materials.

Shine pulled on a clean t-shirt and sat on the foot of the bed, leaving Nick lots of room to assemble his nest. “I know. I forgive you, I just wanted to make it clear that it did hurt. I want to be someone you turn to right away when you’re dealing with something difficult.”

Nick fluffed up a pillow and turned it. “I don’t have the greatest coping mechanisms. Mostly I just avoid thinking about my problems as much as I can.”

“Probably not the worst coping mechanism either,” Shine mused, and Nick chuckled.

The nest didn’t look as big or involved as usual, but Nick reached out for him, and Shine took his hand, coming up the bed and taking the omega into his arms.

“I’m such an idiot,” Nick told his back as they held each other. “I could hardly sleep these past few days. If I had just called you… Having you here is…”

Shine rubbed Nick’s back. “I really missed you and I was worried.”

“I know.” Nick’s voice sounded choked up.

“Are you crying?” Shine tried to pull back a little to look at Nick’s face, but Nick held onto him tighter.

“A little. It’s fine. It’s fine. Just keep holding me, please.”

“I love you,” Shine assured Nick, and was dismayed to hear the crying become clearer.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend.”

“We’ll learn from it. Okay? We’ll get better. You’ll get better.”

“I wish I was just with you all the time. I wish I could be good for you like you are for me.”

“You  _ are _ good for me.”

“Can we make love?” said Nick. “Or can I suck your cock, or… I want to make you feel good, Shine, I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” This time when Shine pulled back a little, Nick let him, let him kiss his lips and wipe away his tears. “Of course I want to make love to you.”

Shine pressed into him slow and easy, both of them on their sides facing each other, tenderly kissing. Nick’s thigh was hitched up over his leg, and Shine’s hand was cupping and massaging Nick’s butt.

“Love you.”

“I love you too, so much.”

“Feels so good.”

Pressed together, Shine felt his shirt get damp from Nick’s orgasm, but he didn’t care. If anything, it made him more excited.

“I love when you come for me.”

“Shine,” Nick keened softly, “I can’t help—Shine, I’m—”

“You’re coming again?”

Nick was biting his lip and whimpering. Shine almost encouraged him to let those wonderful noises out before he remembered that they were trying to be quiet so they wouldn’t be overheard. Seeing such a lewd expression would have to replace the joys of hearing Nick be loud.

Then Nick said something very softly that was more erotic than any scream or moan. “Wish… wish you could knot me…”

Shine came. It was a miracle that he didn’t pop his knot, hearing that, feeling Nick sucking on his scent gland like that, but he managed it. When his hips finally slowed, he weakly tried to make a joke. “Well, I could, but you might not want what comes after.”

“Maybe I do.” But it was muffled into Shine’s neck and shoulder. Maybe Nick said something else. It had to have been something else.

“Huh?”

Nick pulled his head back and gazed at Shine. His face was red. “You’d be a good mate. Being with you in heat would be… and you’d be a good father, too. Part of me… a big part of me, I want to forget about whether I’d be any good. I want to just be selfish and ask you to make me yours.”

“Please,” Shine breathed, “please be selfish. You’d make me so happy, if you’d be selfish just this once.”

“You really want me? With everything. This fast.”

“Everything,” Shine said, “and it can’t come fast enough.”

“Then… then we have to get things organized… I’ll… quit my job, and break my lease, and all of that, and we’ll need heat care for the kids…”

Oh my God. Oh my  _ God.  _ This was really happening. “And we’ll get married,” Shine said quickly, “we can do the legal marriage first. Then I can get you and the kids onto my insurance and everything…”

Nick started to laugh. “Getting married isn’t actually very romantic nowadays, is it? So much paperwork and forms.”

Shine felt like he was going to burst with happiness. A mate that he really loved, children conceived out of love, not just duty. He never would have thought at the beginning of the year that this would happen for him ever, and they weren’t even halfway through yet. “I get really good heat leave in my job,” he said, “I get five days, paid.”

“That’s great,” said Nick, still blushing. “It’s, ah, heat is very… very intense.”

Shine wished it wasn’t night. He wanted to jump out of bed and start making arrangements right away. “I’m so happy. Can we do the legal marriage on Monday when you get off work? And you can put in your notice on Tuesday.”

“Maybe we should deal with your cum inside me right now, before we do anything else,” Nick said, but he had a big smile.

Shine got a dopey grin on his face, and Nick laughed.

“You’re already thinking about knocking me up, right? Alphas are all the same.” But he kissed Shine, and when Shine pulled out of him, the omega sighed, as if he didn’t like having to pull apart either.

———

“Well your father seems to think it’s a good match!” Nick’s mother said over the phone. “He said he had him checked out and he’s telling the truth.”

Nick put a hand to his temple. “You had him investigated…?”

“I know you may not realize it, Nick, but your father  _ does _ worry. You haven’t made the best choices before. But he’s very pleased this time. Ah, when I wake him up from his nap to tell him you’re engaged to Mr. Huo he’ll definitely be very pleased! I know he’ll want to make you two a nice gift.”

“That’s really not—”

“No, no, we’re your parents! What would people think if we didn’t give you a nice gift!”

“Mom, I’m not sure if you’re clear, we’re actually married already, not just engaged,” Nick said.

His mother chuckled. “Well! The wedding banquet is more important than the silly government. You’re not even living together, how can you say you’re married? Oh, I know! Your father and I can pay for the moving into your new home. That will be a good gift, won’t it!”

Nick had to let her in the end, of course.

———

**Henry:** You work fast, huh?

Nick frowned at the phone. He was on his lunch break, and when he checked his phone, he’d been hoping only to see a nice message from his semi-husband—which there was.

**Shine:** Hope you’re having a nice day. I miss you.

He quickly texted Shine back asking him whether he wanted to come over for dinner or do something else, then turned back to the thorny issue of Henry.

**Nick:** Is that supposed to be a congratulations on my marriage?

He slipped the phone into his pocket and grabbed his instant noodle bowl to take to the kettle.

When this job was over, he wasn’t eating instant noodles for a year. Maybe ever. 

While he waited for the noodles to cook, his phone buzzed again.

**Henry:** You need to tell dad the truth about how you never stopped slutting around. How this guy is only using you because he can’t get a child out of the alpha men he really prefers, and you’re using him to try to fake being respectable.  
**Nick:** This is none of your business.  
**Henry:** Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A chill settled into Nick.

**Nick:** Are you threatening me?  
**Henry:** Only with the truth.  
**Nick:** What the hell does that mean?

Henry didn’t reply the rest of the lunch period. Nick had spent the whole time just staring at the phone, and when a coworker came to yell at him that his shift had started, he had to dump the whole noodle bowl in the garbage untouched.

When Nick got to his locker at the end of the day, there was no text from Henry, but there were two from Shine and Kevin.

**Shine:** Sorry I didn’t reply earlier, had a meeting. I’m in the office in Loveland today, and then I have to do a quick errand, so I won’t be home until late. I don’t want to make the kids miss dinner. 

**Unknown Number:** This is Kevin, this is my new cell phone. Can you call me? I got an email from somebody claiming to be your brother.

Holy shit.

Nick practically ran out to the car to make the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Kevin, it’s me, Nick.”

“Uh, hey, listen, I thought I would do this as a call because it’s really weird and hard to describe. I got an email sent to my business mail and it has all kinds of crap about you. Copies of your porn stuff and… and… look, I don’t know if this is real and it’s  _ really _ none of my business but there’s a thing about you being attacked about three years ago… and this supposed brother is saying that you let all kinds of men in the house with the kids and that you have a new guy that you, like, have orgies with or something… like, I tried not to read it as much as I could but it’s  _ really _ inflammatory stuff. I thought I should call you because if this person has it in for you, maybe they are contacting other people too. Do you want me to send you a copy of the email so you know what the accusations are? Or maybe you can figure out who sent it?”

“I think it is from my brother.” Nick could hardly believe he wasn’t more upset. Maybe he was in shock or just numb. “He told me… I don’t know why, but for some reason my decision to get married again has really upset him. I think he’s trying to sabotage it.”

“Wow. Uh… I don’t know what to say… listen, you don’t have to worry about anything bad coming from me about this, alright? I would never try to take Jackson away from you. And if you’re getting married again, I only hope he’s a great guy and you can be really happy with him.”

“Whatever bad things the email said about Shine are lies,” Nick said emphatically. “He  _ is  _ a really great guy.”

“Uh, good, that’s good, then.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Well, can you give my love to Jackson? Could I talk to him tonight? It was my first day at work and I thought it would be nice to talk to him about it.”

“Yeah, sure. I hope you’re settling in well, I’m sorry this is disturbing you.”

“No, really, don’t worry about it. Eight-thirty?”

“Sounds good. Bye Nick.”

The phone hung up.

Nick laid his head on the steering wheel for a moment, then looked at the clock and swore. He had to get to the school to pick up the kids right away.

———

Shine saw a missed call from Nick, but no voicemail, so he thought he’d call him on the train from Loveland to Jade Mountain.

Nick told him about Henry’s attempt to slander him to Kevin and its failure, and asked if Henry had made any attempt to contact Shine.

Shine was glad he was on the train and not driving yet. “No,” he said. “If he had, I’d tell him where to stick it. Are you doing alright?”

“I can’t help but be worried sick about this. I don’t know who he’s telling or what might happen… what if he does something that embarrasses the kids? Like what if he tells their teachers and their teachers start looking at them differently? I can’t believe he would do that but I can’t believe he’d do what he did. I tried to call him but he’s not picking up. I called my mother, which I can’t believe I’m thirty-three years old and tattling to my mother about my brother, but I’m just… I’m so worried, if something happens that hurts the kids—”

“Nick, you’re talking too fast. Try to breathe. Have you had dinner?”

“No. I know I need to make dinner, and I’m trying—”

“Don’t try to make dinner, okay? Have Jackson watch the younger ones, go take a walk and clear your head, and get take out for everybody. Get something exciting. A pizza. Get pizza, okay? I’ll come right over as soon as I give my mother something she had me pick up for her from a friend in Loveland.”

He heard Nick laugh weakly. “Yeah, I don’t know if I should be trusted with an open flame or a knife right now. Okay. I’ll get pizza.”

“Great. I love you. Order extra, okay? I like cold pizza.”

Nick’s laugh sounded a little stronger. “Okay. I love you too. See you soon.”

When he got in the door, without taking off his shoes or coat, he called out, "Mama? I'm leaving your package by the door, I need to go."

"Shine! Wait! Come in!"

Shine didn't want to, but he hastily took his shoes off, leaving his coat on, and walked towards the sound of his father's voice.

He found his father and mother sitting at the dining room table with all kinds of pictures and print outs spread over it, and at one glance he knew that Henry had made a direct delivery this time.


	10. Chapter 10

Nick heard a knock at the front door. He was cuddled up on the couch with Lucas and Jonah watching  _ Into the Spiderverse _ —not something they would normally do on a school night, especially not with pizza, an expensive treat. Jackson and Logan were sitting on cushions on the floor, still eating the pizza—Nick was glad that Shine must be here, before the boys had eaten it all.

“No, I’ll get it Dad,” said Logan, hopping up, while Jackson paused the movie.

While Nick was debating whether he should ask Lucas to sit in his lap to make room for Shine, or if it would be less likely to cause rivalry between Lucas and Jonah if he kicked both boys off the couch and reserved it for grown-ups only, he heard Logan say in surprise, “Oh, Uncle Henry.”

Nick shot to his feet. “Boys, all of you go to my room right now and lock the door. Right now, no questions.”

The tone, plus the distress pheromones he was giving out, made even Logan shut up and book it, Jackson lifting his five year old brother onto his hip and taking Jonah by the hand to follow.

Henry shut the door behind him and said coldly, “You think I’m here to attack you?”

“I don’t know what you’re here to do.”

Henry put his hand to his nose. “Can you calm down? You’re setting me off.”

“Excuse me?! You show up here unannounced after trying to ruin my life and then tell me I’m making you uncomfortable with my pheromones?! Get the fuck out of my apartment if you don’t like how I smell.”

“You’re—shit.” Henry closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again. “Listen, I came here to say I know I went too far this time, alright? I would have undone it if I could, but I couldn’t. And I’m not just saying that because you went crying to Mama. I don’t—” Henry pursed his lips. “Maybe you won’t believe me, but if Jackson’s sire tried to kill you again and succeeded, I wouldn’t be happy. If it was because of me, I… I was desperate, alright? You always…”

“What’s your problem?” Nick said, his hand on the cell phone in his jeans pocket. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“Dad paid off your alpha’s debt for you, alright?!” Henry growled, and Nick flinched, as much from the words as the growl. “They were going to do something bad to you so Dad paid it off. I didn’t know you didn’t know, okay? I thought you were the one who kept asking them for help and you were up to the same shit and I was just so angry… you always go for the absolute scummiest men… like when that fuck buddy of yours put you in the hospital, Mama paid for your hospital bills  _ again _ and—”

“I had insurance for my bills—and what do you mean my alpha’s debt? I sold the house—”

“The kind of fucking debt that results in him getting hit by a car on the highway! Are you such an idiot that you never asked why he was out of his car on the side of a highway in the first place? When there was nothing wrong with the car? You’re so… God, Nicky, you’ve always been so  _ stupid.” _

Nick was not actually that stupid. He had been suspicious that Jason was involved in something bad. And when he died there had been debts, indeed, which was why he had needed to sell the house. But what Henry was saying… Jason had been  _ murdered?  _ The people who had done it had come to Nick’s father to get their money, and Nick’s father had paid it without even telling Nick?

“It isn’t fair, it just… they’ve spent  _ so much _ money on you…!” Henry was giving off a very agitated scent himself.

“I… I never knew…” Nick said.  _ Henry was jealous of me? _

“Yeah, Mama told me you didn’t know. Fuck. Oh, she’s mad as hell with me, of course. Not like you.  _ You _ can mess up over and over and Mama just says never mind, it’s poor little Nicky, don’t scold him, we have to help him. But  _ Henry,  _ no, not Henry. First time in my goddamn life that I make a mistake… Fuck. As if our parents would ever give me and my wife one hundredth of what they’ve spent on you, even if…” Henry raked his hand through his hair. “I only sent the one package and the one email, okay? I won’t send anything more. If you want me to tell them that it’s lies, I will.”

“You sent Kevin a package?!” Nick said, furious and terrified anew. “Don’t you know he works for his parents? They’re the ones who tried to have me declared unfit! If they get—”

“Not him… you didn’t know I sent a package to your fiancé’s parents?”

———

“Shine,” his mother said, with tears in her eyes, “tell me it isn’t true. These are all faked, right?”

Pictures of Shine with old boyfriends and casual sex partners, including one of him clearly naked and asleep curled up against his boyfriend at the time. Shine at gay bars and events. Shine waving a rainbow flag with lipstick marks on his cheek from the drag queen next to him (not actually someone he’d ever dated). Shine pretending to fellate a banana while his friends laughed, for fuck’s sake—he remembered that, that was a door game at a friend’s wedding.

Shine walked slowly up to the table in the mismatched slippers he’d yanked on because of his hurry and saw it wasn’t just pictures. There was writing, too. He tilted one paper and saw it was a statement from an old sex friend about him, how promiscuous he’d been in college. And it was true, not exaggerated.

The whole secret life he’d never meant his parents to know about. Just sitting there on the table.

How had Henry possibly gotten a hold of this?

It didn’t matter right then. The only bright spot was that he didn’t see anything about Nick on the table.

Nick had mentioned on the phone that Henry had accused Nick of being an omega beard to cover Shine’s perverse preference for male alphas. The truth was that Shine was attracted to men of all dynamics, if anything omegas most of all, because of their scent and the possibility of the bond. But if Henry really believed that nonsense, then he was attempting to sabotage the marriage by blowing Shine’s cover. By forcing him out of the closet.

What a despicable thing to do.

“It’s true that I’m gay,” Shine said quietly. “I know that isn’t what you want to hear. I don’t know if what you were sent says anything about Nick. His brother is trying to wreck our relationship—I don’t know why. Whatever what he sent you says about Nick—or if it says nothing—you need to know that I love Nick and I’m marrying him, no matter what.”

“So this is why you were so desperate for a male omega,” his father said flatly.

No sense in beating around the bush. “Yes. I love Nick for himself, not just because he’s a male omega. But it’s true. I know you expect children—and I do want them, but I could never have been happy with a beta woman. I just am not attracted to women. I don’t even know if I’d be attracted to an omega woman—I suppose the bond and heat would force some level of attraction, but it wouldn’t be the same. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

“He’s right,” his mother said, and suddenly she began shuffling together all the papers in a hurry, heedless of them wrinkling or tearing. “He’s married an omega—it doesn’t matter that he’s—that gay thing. It doesn’t matter, that’s the past. He has Nick now, and everything is fine.”

Shine hadn’t wanted to come out to his parents. He’d been outed. But the fact that he was now out to them, and now he was having it shoved in his face that Nick was  _ only _ acceptable because he was an omega—that he was basically going to forced back into the closet around his parents, and certainly around his extended family.

His father was sitting in stony silence as his mother rushed around making sure she had every scrap. “I’ll just destroy this and then we don’t have to worry about it again. Alright? We’ll just—oh, didn’t you say you were in a rush, Shine?”

He was. Shine couldn’t stick around here dealing with the fall out of the acceptance and love he wasn’t going to get from his parents.

Nick needed him.

———

Nick didn’t even register his phone buzzing with the incoming text from Shine that he was on his way. He was too busy metaphorically ripping his brother to shreds for outing Shine. His brother had taken the information from the background investigation that their father had done and passed on everything about Shine’s sexual and romantic history to his parents.

Then it got worse as Henry tried to argue back that Nick was being a fool once again. Men didn’t go from fucking mostly alphas and sometimes betas to suddenly wanting an omega. Shine was gay and gay men wouldn’t change. Fucking a male omega wasn’t gay at all, if you were an alpha. At best, Shine found Nick less repulsive than a woman. Shine would definitely cheat on Nick with “actual” men—this last part in some incredibly disgusting language.

Nick usually let his brother fluster him out of being able to defend himself, but not when the target was Shine. He challenged him back on every point. 

Only a knock at the door was enough to seize his attention.

“If that’s Shine,” Nick hissed, “you need to apologize to him and then get the hell out of my home.”

Henry made a weirdly surprised face at that, but Nick was brushing past him to get to the door and open it. The knocks at the door were getting louder.

Shine, out in the hallway, had started to smell the combination of agitated pheromones and probably would have progressed to shouting if Nick hadn’t opened the door right then. “Nick, are you okay?” he said as soon as the door opened.

“Shine,” Nick said, and though he wanted to melt and just cling onto Shine because damn did his scent smell  _ comforting _ cutting through Henry’s smell, he had to keep focused. “Henry admitted to sending the stuff. He has something to say to you, right, Henry?”

“I made a mistake,” Henry said. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay, get out,” said Nick, and to his own surprise, when he had gotten the door open, he grabbed his brother by the arm and manhandled him out the door. His brother was shocked, too; no way could Nick have done that if he hadn’t been. Nick didn’t come back to the full reality of what he’d done until he had turned the deadbolt.

Then Shine was taking him in his arms and purring, and Nick wanted to melt more than ever, but  _ Shine _ was the one who needed him now. “Your parents—Shine, I’m so sorry—”

“It’s not your fault,” Shine purred. “Don’t blame yourself. If nothing else, I don’t have to be scared about them finding out anymore. They aren’t okay with it, but they’re fine with me marrying you. So it’s just what I predicted, really.”

Nick studied his face. “But it still hurts, right?”

There was a stutter in the purr. “Yeah. Yeah, it does hurt to have it confirmed.”

“Daddy?”

Shine stopped purring and Nick turned. Jackson hadn’t called him Daddy in years, but there he was, looking very uncertain at the entrance to the hall to the bedrooms.

“Is it okay to come out now?”

“Yeah,” said Nick. “Yeah, I’m sorry, Uncle Henry’s just left. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Lucas is crying a lot,” said Jackson.

“Okay, I’ll go talk to him. Um… you can have some pizza if you want, Shine…”

Jackson rubbed the side of his arm and looked at the wall for an awkward moment after his father had gone past him.

“We couldn’t hear a lot of what my uncle was saying,” said Jackson after a moment. “Is everything really going to be fine? Dad never wants us to worry.”

“You know your dad and I are married, right? Nothing’s going to change that. Your uncle told your sire and my parents some stuff to try to break us up, but it’s not going to work. We’re going to be a family—the six of us.”

Jackson smiled. “Six for now, you mean.”

Shine hadn’t expected Jackson to make a joke like that. He reddened and laughed. “Yeah, six for now.”

———

The wedding banquet day, when it arrived, was nothing but stressful for Nick. Not only was he surrounded by his own family—never pleasant—plus dealing with his new extended family, but Jonah got a probably stress induced nervous stomach and projectile vomited all over his father halfway through the banquet.

Nick took Jonah home and just didn’t come back, which he would have felt guilty about except that Shine told him he used it as an excuse to end the whole banquet on the early side, which was a relief for Shine too, feeling the pressure from his parents to keep apart his family (who were not to know he was gay) from his friends (who were mostly part of the LGBTQ community themselves).

The highlight of the day for Shine was getting to see and thank Minor in person for his role in setting them up. Minor was pregnant—with twins, he gleefully said—and Jacob, his alpha, smiled at Shine and said that he hoped Shine would be just as happy as he was.

The truly important day came a few weeks after that. Shine had booked a vacation, and they sent all the kids, who were on summer holiday, to a sleep away camp.

Nick had been off suppressants for a month. It was finally time.

They checked into a nice hotel in Loveland that had good reviews for their heat suites.

Shine had thought so long about how he wanted to mark Nick. He asked if it was okay if he bit onto Jason’s bite scar, and Nick agreed.

There was no guarantee that the mating bite hormones would cue Nick's body to heal the old scar, but he hoped at least that it would make it look different. Then it wouldn't be a reminder of Jason any more, but of this night.

After all the hustle of packing for everyone, sending off the kids, getting into the city, checking into the hotel, unpacking, going grocery shopping (especially for nutritious, easily digestible juices and smoothies) to load the fridge, and then unpacking all of  _ that,  _ it was little wonder that Nick and Shine spent a good ten minutes just lying down on the bed spooning without saying anything. Just enjoying the quiet.

"I wonder how it'll change your smell," Shine murmured into the back of Nick's neck, breaking the silence at last. "Being marked by me."

"If it makes me smell bad, you’ll still be stuck with me.”

Shine laughed softly and kissed his nape. “No way you could ever smell bad.”

Nick didn’t reply, but he started to undress, and Shine’s cock immediately showed interest.

From slow quiet spooning, the transition to Shine roughly fucking into Nick from behind felt like it happened in a blink.

The time was now, both of them were focused on one goal: getting Shine’s knot into Nick’s hole and his teeth in his neck.

"Shine—" Nick was shoving his hips back against him.

"Yeah?"

"Shine, it feels so good! I just c-came but I, ah, I’m so—"

"Be as loud as you want. Nobody can hear us here."

"You too—ah, tell me—"

"You’re so slick, hot, and tight, Nick. You smell so damn good. The best omega. Perfectly fitted to my cock.”

"I love it, I love it when you talk to me. Shine, please give me your knot, I want to have it again—give it to me every day, ah, promise!”

“I’ll take care of my omega, fuck you full of me every day.”

“Yes~ I’ll always have my alpha’s cum inside me~”

“Good boy,” Shine said, and Nick wailed.

“I’m cumming again, I can’t st-stop!”

“You want to cum around my knot?”

“Yes!”

“You want me to bite you? Make you mine?”

“Bite me please! Please, Shine, knot me, mark me—”

Then he couldn’t speak because Shine was biting on the back of his neck hard—switching the grip of his mouth and biting down again—all the while with his hands gripping hard enough onto his shoulder to leave marks, keeping Nick just where he wanted as he bit down over the back gland again and again, pouring pheromones into Nick every time.

Nick struggled to keep conscious under the onslaught of pleasure tinged with pain. His vision was blurry but he could see his own blood dripping off of his neck and down onto the sheets below.

Shine's head was swimming too. He almost felt like a vampire with how much the taste of Nick's blood was intoxicating him. He couldn't get enough. The feeling of the orgasm—of his second ever knot tying him together to his newly bonded omega—was almost just background noise to it.

When the orgasm faded he finally got a hold of himself. "Nick? Nick, are you okay?"

Nick twisted his head back enough to give him a weary smile. "Love you, alpha."

"My omega. I love you too..." Shine moved one hand along Nick's shoulder to gently stroke the gradient of orange, red, and yellow that was blooming like a sunrise above Nick's collar bones. Above that, the wound of his savage biting made him wince. He'd basically obliterated Jason's scar, at the cost of creating a big open wound on the back of Nick's neck. "I went too far with my biting, I'm sorry."

"Yeah... yeah that does sting a little," Nick admitted, "but it'll heal. We got that dressing, right?"

"Right, as soon as my knot goes down I'll dress it for you. And then we should eat, you need to eat."

———

Nick had warned Shine that heat was intense, and about seventy hours in, at about 2am, as Shine let Nick desperately ride him, he could only think that Nick hadn't exaggerated. If anything, Nick seemed to get needier and needier, frantic in his need for not only Shine’s knot, but Shine’s affection.

“Tell me,” Nick panted. His eyes were glassy. “Tell me I’m good again, please tell me I’m doing good.”

“You’re doing so good, Nick,” Shine assured him. “I love you.”

“Need your knot again, please, I need it so bad, my cunt is…” The rhythm of Nick’s hips faltered. “I used the wrong word again...”

“It’s okay.”

“I got mixed up, J-Jason wanted me to call it that, I’m sorry!”

"Nick,  _ listen,"  _ said Shine in alpha command to break through Nick's panic. When the omega froze and looked down at him, he said gently, "I don't know why you keep having this fear that you're upsetting me if you use feminine words like pussy or cunt. I guess Jason was very picky about it, but  _ I'm not. _ This part of you—" Shine reached and gently touched where Nick was stretched tight around his cock—"is wonderful. Whatever you call it, I love being inside you, Nick. I love you and I want you. You’re mine and I’m yours. Come down here, scent me.”

He didn't make it alpha command, but Nick still instantly obeyed, laying forward and nuzzling Shine's own scent gland, while filling Shine's nose with his omega's milky-sweet aroma.

"I don't know," Nick confessed into Shine's throat. His voice sounded clearer, more like himself. "I... I feel awful talking about Jason when we're in bed together, but..."

"Tell me.”

“When I was filming, after I got together with Jason, he said if the intended market is gay alphas you  _ have _ to say hole. There were all these other rules I had to follow too. And Jason always got in a bad mood if he was filming me doing that because he didn’t like to be reminded that I was a guy. So when I made a mistake he’d get really angry, and if I made a mistake the other way and said hole with him when we  _ weren’t _ doing a video for the gay market, he’d get  _ really  _ angry, like, he’d pull out and just stop, even… even when I was in heat, that last time…”

Shine destroying a palm-sized patch on the back of Nick’s neck with his teeth no longer seemed like overkill, in the service of removing the last traces of Jason from Nick’s body. Through some miracle, the man had managed to sire three amazing boys, but as far as Shine was concerned that was literally the only three good things he’d ever done, and Nick had done 99.99% of the work on those three. “Fuck, Nick. I’m not sure what could drag me away from you in heat. If the hotel was burning down, I guess, but I’d throw a blanket around you and take you with me.”

Nick chuckled, then raised his head. His face in the light from the bathroom was still tentative and unsure. “Was I being very whiny?”

“I loved hearing you ask for what you wanted. That you wanted me and my approval so much. Made me feel really good, it was sexy.”

“Really?” Nick half-smiled.

“Really.” Shine brushed a lock of sweaty hair off of Nick’s forehead. “How are you feeling? Is the heat breaking?”

Nick glanced at the clock, but it only said the hour. “...what day is it?”

“Very early in the morning on Friday.”

“Oh… that’s a pretty long heat for me…” Nick’s half-smile got a little flirtatious. “I guess my body wanted to be absolutely certain that you would knock me up…” Nick reached between them and touched the big swell of his belly. “Want to put one more load in me, alpha?”

“You’re not too tired?” Shine said, and then groaned as Nick clenched around his still throbbing cock.

“If you obviously have another knot to give me,” Nick said, beginning to move his hips again, “I’d be a fool to pass it up.”

———

“I’m going to be a big brother!” Lucas told the cashier at Carrefour, marking probably the seventh person Lucas had told this that day.

The cashier smiled at Lucas and Shine as she rang up their purchases. “Well, isn’t it nice that Baba is giving Mama a break.”

“I don’t have a mama,” Lucas said cheerfully. “Daddy is an omega. Like me!”

“Oh,” said the woman, looking embarrassed.

“I’m almost six,” Lucas added, “and I’m starting a new school—”

“Lucas,” Shine interrupted. “Please be quiet for a minute while I finish buying your new shoes.”

“Okay Houba [Stepdad],” said Lucas, "Can I look at my new book?"

"Once it's been rung up."

When Shine had buckled Lucas into his booster seat, he hesitated, but then decided to speak. “Lucas, do you remember what Daddy said about telling people you’re an omega?”

“But she didn’t look like a bad person,” Lucas said, but he looked crestfallen nonetheless.

“I’m sure she wasn’t, but you need to build up a habit of not saying it, okay? It’s just safer.”

“Okay,” Lucas said, very unhappy and quiet.

Usually Lucas talked nonstop, especially when he had the chance to get someone alone, so the quiet car ride was very unnatural for Shine. He turned on the car radio to pop music to fill the silence.

At home, Nick was up from his nap and relaxing on the couch with his feet up. He smiled at Shine and Lucas. “Did you get your new school shoes?”

“Yeah.”

Nick of course didn’t miss that his little sunflower was drooping. “What’s wrong Lucas?”

Lucas got on the couch with his dad. “Daddy, how come I can’t tell people I’m an omega? Why is it bad?”

"Hmm, it's not that it's bad, sweetie, it's like... hmm... well, you know how Spiderman can't tell people he's Spiderman, right?"

"Right, because then the bad guys would get him."

"Not just that. See, being a boy omega is actually  _ really _ cool, because we're the rarest," Nick said, "so it's a bit like having a superpower. How would Miles concentrate at school if people were always bugging him about having a superpower? Or how would he make real friends that like him for him, and not because he has a superpower, if he didn’t keep it a secret?”

“Oh! Oh, like that?” Lucas cheered up a little.

“Yep! And when you’re older and you can navigate the world better, then it’s okay if people know. But when you’re younger, it’s best to keep it a secret. Like Spiderman does.”

“Right!” The logic actually didn’t cohere all that well, but Lucas was totally enamored with the idea that he was a kid Spiderman, just as his dad had planned. “Okay, Daddy! I’ll keep it a top secret!”

“Okay. Now go see if any of your brothers want to play while I talk to Houba about dinner.”

Lucas ran off, or rather semi-spider-crawled off, making sound effect noises with his mouth as he  _ boinged  _ and  _ kapowed _ off of the walls and furniture towards his bedroom.

“The shopping trip didn’t go too badly?” Nick said. Shine had been hovering around the door as Nick and Lucas had their little heart-to-heart.

“Not badly at all,” Shine said, “Lucas just… like to tell everybody everything.”

“I know. It’s good that you reminded him not to tell everybody he meets about it.” Nick sighed. “I wish it wasn’t a worry. But it is.”

“How’s your stomach?”

Nick was in the worst period of morning sickness, not to mention the classic fatigue of early pregnancy. He made a face and said euphemistically, “I was ill not long after you left. But then I got a nap and I feel okay right now. I feel like having congee, if that’s alright with you.”

“Congee sounds great.” Shine crossed over to sit next to Nick on the couch and kissed him. “Are you really going to be alright when school starts again? Having the kids go to two separate schools…”

“I’ll handle it,” Nick said firmly. “Lucas really wants to try being a diver. I want to give him the chance.”

“I just worry because with my commute I can’t be there for you as much as I want to.”

“I’ll really be fine,” Nick said. “This… Shine, life with you is like easy mode compared to how it was before. I’m really happy. I haven’t been this relaxed since I was pregnant with Lucas.”

“You were relaxed then?”

“Ah…” Nick scratched his neck, embarrassed. “That was… this is awful…” He lowered his voice to make it only just loud enough for Shine to barely hear. “After Jason died, but before I realized how big his debts were. There was about two months when I was on cloud nine. All I had to do was play with the boys.”

“Ah, I see.”

———

Nick’s blissful early gestation of Lucas—low stress being, according to the media at least, strongly correlated with omega dynamic markers turning on—seemed to come true again, because when the Huo family welcomed a baby girl, she was an omega too.

Little Sophia instantly had her four big brothers wrapped around her little finger. Nick had worried that Lucas might feel like he was being replaced as the baby, or that timid Jonah might get more lost in the shuffle with a new baby around being very loud in needing her needs met. Neither of these turned out to be a problem. Instead, the major problem was preventing her big brothers from spoiling her madly.

Even Jackson, who was usually so responsible and sensible, would try to sneak his baby sister candy. Candy!

When Sophia was two, they welcomed one more baby boy, an beta they named Blaze. Again, Nick worried that their only beta boy might feel lesser or cheated, but as Blaze grew up, watching his three oldest brothers go through all the extremes of alpha puberty, and then watched his omega siblings Lucas and Sophia have to deal with not only their own development but the attentions of alphas, he only ever said, “I’m glad I don’t have to do that, because everything about pheromones is ridiculous.”

It was always a very noisy house, but as the kids struck off into their own lives and came home less and less, Nick and Shine didn’t mind the quiet, because both of them had found in each other far more than they had ever dared to want.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they lived happily ever after!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading! If you are interested in adults-only chat about Mr Love Queen's Choice, [check out the Discord!](https://discord.gg/sn45jhB) We have an ABO channel where we talk a lot about what I have so humbly called the yunyuniverse.


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